Ask Dr. L – Good Eats!

March 31, 2010

For a small fortune (and the promise of a steady supply of medicinal quality V) has gotten Dr. L to agree to answer your supernatural medical questions. Ask Dr. L is written by Dr. L (any resemblance to any characters living, dead or undead is purely coincidental), also known as Doctor to the Supernaturals, and was founded by her mother, Philine Paullips. It is the most popular and widely syndicated supernatural medical advice column in this world — or any other. Known for its uncommon nonsense and immortal, or just darn old, perspective.

March 30th, 2010

Dear Dr. L,

I just got “made”…..and not like that show that used to be on MTV. I kinda lost a bet and now I’m one of the living dead. My maker is the…”do as I say and don’t question,” type. He and I are still working out which blood type best suits my diet. But…when I was human my favorite meal was Chicken Marsala. My mom would make it for my birthday and every time I visited New York City, I’d always schedule time to stop into Carmines for their chicken Marsala. I miss it. My maker has only told me to drink blood and I didn’t know there was a “nutritional” reason….or if was more for aesthetics. So my question is: What will happen to me if I eat chicken Marsala, or any normal food for that matter. Could I cut the Marsala with blood? Is there anyway for me to enjoy my former favorite meal? If you can find a way for me to enjoy it again, we can work out a deal for you to have some of my blood,

Marsala Magnus

Dear MM,
You’re kidding me, right? Trying to pull the good doctor’s leg, here. Not about the bossy, controlling vampire who turned you- they’re all like that. It’s a matter of you asserting your cajones and telling him which type you prefer. That might take a while. But you want me to believe you still crave human food? Come on now- your heart no longer beats, you don’t breathe, you no longer create gastric juices which stimulate the taste buds- BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD, YOU DIMWIT!!!

I happen to be an amazing gourmet chef, among my multitude of other talents. Best I can do for you here is think of you next time I make Chicken Marsala Ala Ludwig. No wait, that would give me serious indigestion.
Joke’s over!

Yo, L-Dawg,

My dream is to be a rock star. I don’t even car what instrument. I love them all. I’ve got a guitar, bass, and drum set in my parent’s basement. I can play them all and oh you should hear my voice. But no matter how hard I try, I never get discovered. I’ve heard that vampires are super fast. If I could find one to “turn” me, would I be fast enough to totally shred my axe, like better than Hendrix? Could I make “Moby Dick” sound like “Moby Minnow?” Do you know any vamps willing to turn?

Seattle John (Its a grunge thing)

Dear Grungy,

Excuse me, did you just refer to me as “Dawg”? But I must admit, hip, with it, happening chick that I am, I’m kind of down with “L-Dawg”. Forever young is my motto. And that song was sung by the great Rod Stewart.

Now, as to your question, which must have been formed through some sort of drug induced haze, because if it weren’t, you’d know I would never advise anyone as to how to find a vampire to turn them. And even if I were so inclined, I wouldn’t tell anyone with a brain as obviously fried as yours is, as that would mean you and said brain would be around forever, just like my youth.

And may I just say, I knew the late, great Jimi Hendrix quite well. And even with his usual lack of sobriety, no one has ever, or will ever “shred an axe” like he did. Don’t even bother to dream that one.

Hey Dr. L,

I just got my Masters Degree in Creative Writing. I’ve had this idea for a play involving vampires in my head for ever. Then they came out of the coffin. In that time there have been countless vampire books and what not. I’ve got the first draft of my play done finally and well, I have a two part question: 1. Do you think a real vampire would ever actually play the vampire part? It would make the special effects go some much smoother even though I know we’d have to give up the Sunday matinee. 2. Are there anythings that vampires hate to see about themselves in literature? I mean, my name is going to be on this and I don’t want them coming after me if I write something offensive!


Warren the Writer

Hi, Warren,

I just love creative people! I happen to have written a few books, plays and screenplays myself. By the way, do you have a good agent and publisher you could hook me up with?

OK, as an incentive, I will answer your 2 part question. First, you must realize many of the rich and famous people you adore are vampires. I find the whole lot of them to be tediously vain. BUT- they won’t work cheap. You will have to go union. And if you want them to do their one SFX, well, I doubt a young graduate such as yourself could afford to pay such a steep price. They aren’t only vain, they are greedy.

As to anything being offensive to them, I refer back to my earlier statement about their plaguing vanity. If you flatter them, make them look sexy and hot, it really won’t matter what else you say about them. Of course, they also have rather mercurical, quick silver tempers that can turn on a dime…
So I guess I’m saying here, you tell me what you know about agents, publishers, etc- and I’ll tell you what might make one of these vamps snap your neck in two.

Dear Dr L:
There’s something I’ve always wondered about werewolves. I’m guessing they’re not immortal like vamps, but does the extra vitality their wolf-side has give them extended life spans? I’m just wondering if you’ve ever encountered a “silver-back” werewolf who’s old, grey, decrepit, and “long in the tooth,” to coin a cliche’.


Dear Gill,

Being of an age myself, my earlier “forever young” remark notwithstanding, I find your old, grey, decrepit and long in the tooth references quite rude! Just because a person has a little snow on the roof, doesn’t mean there isn’t still fire in the furnace! I am rather friendly with quite a few in the Were community, and they would avenge my offense. Just keep this in mind, Gill, that weres are amazing trackers- they can find you and show you how they treat rude people. Next full moon, I’d watch my back, if I were you!

Hi Dr. L!

Love your column, it’s the best for those of us with connections to the Supes! My problem has to do with my long time boyfriend, Jackson. We’ve been going out for about 2 years and I just found out he’s a shape shifter! How exciting is THAT? I’m was a bit freaked out at first.. I mean, his ‘go to’ shape is bat of all things! Scared me witless when he showed me! I thought he was telling me he’s a VAMPIRE YUCK! No offense intended to anyone but I’m a morning person and I’m already anemic.. And then he was hanging from my mother’s tiffany chandelier and I was so freaked that he’d break it or POOP on the tablecloth! I mean, I watch the nature channel, I’ve seen those caves! OMG it really was a very bad day, I ended up chasing him out of the house with a broom! We broke up for a month but he really is the sweetest thing and he’s been working on switching his ‘go to’ to a lovely Persian kitty. Isn’t that just adorable? Anyway, What I’ve been wondering for the last couple weeks since we got back together is.. could he change into a different people shape? I swear I saw him at the local bar chatting up that slut Alice. But he was a good 3 inches taller, thinner and looked a decade older! He says it wasn’t him but I still have this niggling worry..

Sign me: Suspicious

Dear Suspicious,

Dear, dear girl- caught up in the age old worry of fidelity is a tangle, isn’t it? Let’s just be grateful your beloved is not a “yucky vampire”, to begin with. Count your blessings, such as they are.
And bats really aren’t such horrible creatures. I’ve known many people who’ve had them in their belfries for years! HA HA!! But if he’s willing to switch to a Persian kitty, all the better. Just be sure to stock up on kitty litter and hairball remedy. My last bit of advice here might not be so pleasant, but here goes: I know that slut Alice. I’ve seen many a man, human, shifter, whatever- do unbelievable feats just to be with her, if you get my drift. If I were you, I’d hang him from your mother’s chandelier in his human form by his most delicate private parts and leave him there to ask himself if Alice was worth it.

Be sure to Submit your questions in the Comments Section below and if you’re unlucky enough Dr. L may choose to answer your question!

To view past Dr. L words of wisdom just do a search on Dr. L in the box in the upper left of the page.

Disclaimer: These answers are provided for entertainment purposes only and should not be followed by ordinary humans. This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement. Ask Dr. L and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlaine HarrisSookie Stackhouse novels.

Header Credit: K. S. Rose


Charlaine Harris To Visit the University of Central Arkansas

March 31, 2010

Famed author Charlaine Harris is set to hold a free lecture and book signing at the University of Central Arkansas on April 1, 2010 at 7:30 pm.

Harris is the author of the popular “Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mysteries” which are the basis of the HBO hit series “True Blood.”

Harris‘ visit has been funded by the UCA Student Government Association, which is advised by Larry Burns.  Burns feels that the lecture will be exciting for the UCA community.

“Bringing Charlaine Harris is a great example of the Student Government Association putting students first and providing and opportunity to meet and hear from a truly relevant and current author.”

Burns added:

“Many students, staff and faculty are really excited to have Ms. Harris here on campus.”

The lecture has reserved seating and will take place at the Reynolds Performance Hall. Two tickets per person may be picked up at the UCA Box office, which is open Monday through Friday from 10 am. to 4 pm.  Reserved tickets may be obtained up until 7 pm. on the night of April 1.  If tickets are not picked up by 7 pm. on April 1, they will be given away.  UCA ID is required by all students, faculty, and staff when picking up reserved tickets.

For more information you can visit their website here or contact them at 501-450-3265.

SOURCE:  University of Central Arkansas News

Picture credit:  HBO Inc.


Eric Northman,Vampire … Anti-Hero

March 31, 2010

What is it about Eric Northman that draws and mesmerizes so many?  The infamous vampire bar and club?  The snappy attire?  The bold yet casual swagger? The fact that he is an authority figure?  These are all reasons that legions of fans are attracted to this charming and enigmatic vampire gent.  The character also has a hard edge and a dark sense of humor, which I think makes him more interesting and fun to watch.

Each episode with Eric reveals another facet to his personality. Early in the second season, after viciously attacking someone in his basement dungeon, he asks a horrified Lafayette, “Did I get blood in my hair?”  This is just one example of how Eric can be scary and funny at the same time.  The scene where he, Pam and Chow prey upon Lafayette is evidence that he is a fierce predator.

“True Blood” fan Mary from New York  says, “I find him to be sexy because there is an element of danger about him. There is also hope for Eric because of the way he was loyal and protective, to a fault, with his maker, Godric.”

Tommy, a writer and fan of the show says, ” I think that Eric knows his own strength and that may sometimes intimidate people around him; even viewers. He may come across as arrogant  and yet it may be simply that he is comfortable with himself.”

Jaxx, an avid fan of the show had this to say, “I think that in the next season, we will see even more of a breakthrough with Eric. I believe that he is a diamond in the rough and has much potential to change.”

I think that Eric Northman, like many of the other characters on the show, is a layered and complex person.  We, the viewers and fans, do not know if he is good or bad.  Much of his past seems to be cloaked in mystery, too. He can be treacherous and deceptive but he can also be loyal and protective with those few he cares about. Eric is a complex character. He acts tough but in the second season of the show, he saves Sookie’s life twice. Once,when she was attacked by the Maenad and then again when Luke MacDonald bombed out a building where she and Eric were present.  He is fascinated with her, and watching his desire and curiosity grow over the next year should be quite appealing.

Unlike Bill and Sam, Eric cares little about acceptance from others or about integrating vampire and human culture in society. Eric does things his own way and he makes no bones about it. He is seen by some as the consummate rebel, a non-conformist. Although, he may be just as wounded on the inside as the others, but more adept at hiding it.

Fans would agree Eric Northman may well be the hottest vampire on TV to date!  He has mesmerized many with his charm and dominant personality.  It will be quite interesting to see how his relationships with others, including Sookie, progress during the next couple of seasons.

With Eric there are many more layers to unravel but I don’t think his adoring fans mind that very much.

Do you have a viewpoint on Eric? Please feel free to post it in the comments below!  Remember, no attacking each other, keep it civil!

Photo credit: HBO

Screen Capture: James


True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten Recognized by Men’s Fitness Magazine

March 31, 2010

One of our favorite actors, Ryan Kwanten, who plays on HBO True Blood‘s as Jason Stackhouse, has been picked for Men’s Fitness Magazine‘s Top 25 Male Celebrities with the hottest bodies list. With his frequent nude scenes in the show, Ryan has done a fantastic job staying in shape resulting in him being chosen for the list.  The article states that Ryan is not only a former boxing champion but, also a biathlon athlete and yoga instructor. Ryan Kwanten has plenty of experience staying in shape, and we have to admit that we love seeing his shape! Congratulations to Ryan for working out and giving us lots of reasons to drool over him. We are all anxiously waiting to see how much we will see him in True Blood’s upcoming third season beginning June 13!


(Photo credit: HBO Inc.)


True Blood Season 3 Viral Ad Poster #2 – VILF

March 31, 2010

HBO has released its second viral ad poster to promote season 3 of True Blood and this time they are putting a spin on a popular acronym. The second True Blood poster simply has a red background with the acronym “VILF” written on it.  If you hare not familiar with the term it means “vampire I would like to ….,”  well you get the point.  So what do you think of the latest poster?  Is it a hit or a miss?  Love to hear your comments below.


(Photo credit:  HBO Inc.)


Celebrate Season 3 of True Blood and Win Exclusive Prizes

March 30, 2010

Here at we are as excited as you are about Season 3 of True Blood set to premiere June 13th on HBO.

To celebrate the new season and FMCG Manufacturing, the makers of the Tru Blood beverage, are joining forces to offer fans the chance to win an exclusive Tru Blood Party Pack.

The pack includes:
(1) 4 pack Tru Blood
(1) “All Flavor, No Bite” poster
(2) Tru Blood branded cocktail menu table tents
(25) Tru Blood branded cocktail napkins

Remember you can purchase the Tru Blood beverage from the following:

Hot Topics
Hastings Entertainment
FYE Stores
Diamond Comic Distributors
Dimple Records
Zia Records

Sunrise Records


Contest Details

Given the current fad of having supernaturals as BFs and GFs, we at thought it timely to collect together some advice to those considering going down that particular path into the dark wood.  So, to that end, we call on you, our faithful readers, to provide us with a list of the pros and cons of dating a vampire or werewolf.

The funniest response (as chosen by staff) will win the Party Pack, the runners up will have their contributions included in the final pros & cons list with a by-line (yes, fame!).

I’ll start you off to give you the idea…

The Vampire
Pros – the vampire BF/GF:
– Will never steal your Gran’s pie out of the fridge.
Cons – but the vampire BF/GF:
– Likes to listen to weird music, like Chinese throat gargling.

The Werewolf
Pros – the werewolf BF/GF:
– Seems to get on well with the neighbors (as long as they stay on their side of the fence).
Cons – but the werewolf BF/GF
– Sheds, everywhere, and tends to have an unfortunate, doggy smell from time-to-time.


First prize is available for US residents only but location is no barrier to the runners-up fame prizes.  Sorry that this contest is only for U.S. residents, but don’t worry.  Stay tuned for our weekly contests that will be starting up very soon that is open to everyone.

How to enter

Submit your pro or con in the comment section below. Make sure it is labeled as pro or con.  Submit a maximum of 2 individual comments, (1 separate pro comment and 1 separate con comment).

Contest closes Tuesday April 6, 2010.  A winner will be chosen after an intense judging period (really) and will be notified by e-mail using the e-mail provided when you commented.  So please ensure you are using a valid e-mail address.  The winner will have 72 hours to claim the prize after which if we do not receive an e-mail from the winner the first runner-up will be contact and again will have 72 hours to respond.

And speaking of cons (of another kind) for those of you attending WonderCon in San Francisco in early April, just a reminder that FMCG Manufacturing will be there giving away free samples.  Details in our earlier post.

(Photo credit:  HBO Inc.)

Contest Closed. Winner to be announced soon.


Kevin Alejandro on His Roles in Southland and True Blood

March 30, 2010

As most of you know, Kevin Alejandro has joined the cast of True Blood for the upcoming season 3 of the hit series. The actor also has a current role on the critically acclaimed cop drama, Southland.  The website, recently sat down with the actor who talked about his love for the Southland series and the very different role he will be playing for True Blood.

Kevin was introduced to Southland like most actors looking for work, auditions.  He went through several auditions and call backs before he was able to land a role on the show.  When asked what his initial appeal to the show was Kevin responded saying:

“What drew me to the show was how smart it is and how it is such a big cast, but they were able to keep all these stories going and keep it interesting without being confusing, and it was so raw. Even when you were reading the script, you could feel how raw the stories were. So, that’s what really got me interested. And, the fact that he was a completely different character than I’ve played.”

Kevin had to do a lot of background research to prepare for his role on Southland. Kevin explained that the actors were given time to prepare for their roles and did extensive research and training. The were taught how to cuff people, how to pull someone over, weapons training, police academy classes, and ride-alongs with actual police officers.  When asked what type of response he has gotten from the community and actual cops who watch the show, Kevin had this to say:

“I have some friends who are a retired police offer and retired SWAT, people who are captains and sergeants, and in the police academy, in different parts of L.A. So, I’m in that world a little bit, and I’ve heard nothing but absolutely positive things. Just the other night, I was at a friend’s birthday party, and there was a random person I had never met before, who was a New York cop, back in the day, and she said, “Your show is, by far, the only cop show that I like because it is very true. All the stories that you guys are telling and are going through, I know somebody or have been through that situation.” I always get a, “Thank you,” at the end of it. People say, “Thank you for representing us. Thank you for doing the show.” So, yeah, all the feedback has been very positive.”

Kevin admits that the show has given him a newfound respect for what police officers have to go through on a daily basis. He finds it amazing as well, how cops deal with seeing so many things from someone getting shot to a mother abused by her husband and how they deal with that everyday.

Kevin also has a lot of respect and admiration for his fellow castmates.  Kevin explained that the cast works really well together and it has been a great experience, one he hopes will continue. This is due to the fact that the show has been switched over from their original network to TNT which left the cast wondering if the show would continue.  One of the things Kevin had to say when asked what he enjoyed most about working on the show was:

“Working with everybody. They’re all great. We all love coming to work. It moves so fast. It’s a very non-traditional television show. Because of the cameras we use and the style of the show, it just moves at a quick pace. We’re in and we’re out, and we get the job done quick. That’s been exciting. You never know what’s going to happen.”

Kevin then talked about landing his role on True Blood. Kevin explains that he really wanted the role because it gave him a chance to play a character that was completely different from his character on Southland.  He says it has been great working with Alan Ball and the cast on set.  Kevin’s character on True Blood, Jesus Velasquez, is connected to Lafayette and his mother. When asked how it was working with Nelsan Ellis and Alfre Woodard, Kevin had this to say:

” I feel honored that people would actually trust me to be part of a crew like that. Nelsan is a Juilliard man. And, Alfre Woodard is Alfre Woodard. I just feel great that people think that I can hold my own with those guys and that I have good chemistry with them.”

Kevin admits that it was a bit nerve wracking coming into True Blood which has definitely established itself as a series and trying to bring a new character into that and creating his place in that world.  Kevin’s interview ended with him being asked if there are any specific roles or genres he would still like to pursue since he has performed in such different roles and Kevin answered by saying that he would love a chance to do some Shakespeare. As sure as I am that Kevin would do a fabulous job with Shakespeare, I am much more excited to see him on season 3 of True Blood!


(Photo credit:


True Blood’s Jim Parrack aka Hoyt Cast in “Joint Body”

March 30, 2010

True Blood‘s Jim Parrack, who plays vampire Jessica‘s human squeeze Hoyt Fortenberry, has been cast in an independent film “Joint Body,” produced by James Choi and Max Velez.

He joins a cast of TV show alums, including his “Supernatual” cast mate Mark Pellegrino (“Lost“) and Alicia Witt (“Friday Night Lights“). Mark stars in the film by writer and director Brian Jun as a parolee who is abandoned by his family. After saving a stripper’s life, he faces challenges to his own freedom, including past demons.

No word yet on what part Jim will play in the film, which starts shooting in Illinois next month. Check back for updates on Jim‘s role in this indie drama.

SOURCE: Variety, via

Photo credit:


PHOTOS: Carrie Preston In Hawaii

March 29, 2010

The charming and wonderful Carrie Preston who we all love and know as the spunky red-headed waitress (and now sporting that redhead off-screen) Arlene Fowler in Alan Ball‘s hit HBO TV vampire series True Blood happily shared photos of her time in Hawaii on her twitter account.  Many thanks to Carrie for sharing these beautiful photos with everyone!  You look fantastic and the scenery is beautiful!

You can follow Carrie on Twitter @Carrie_Preston where she regularly tweets and responds to fans.

SOURCE: Carrie Preston’s Twitter Account

(Photo credits:  Carrie Preston)


Metropia with Alexander Skarsgard Available Soon by Video On Demand

March 29, 2010

Even if the Tribeca Film Festival in New York is too far away for some of you Alexander Skarsgard lovers to attend, his movie is coming to you. In a DocumentaryTech article about film festivals as the new model for film distribution, Metropia is listed as one of 12 independent films that will be available in up to 40 million homes through video-on-demand.

Metropia is the Swedish animated noir set in the future when Europe is connected by the network of underground railways, complete with an Orwellian conspiracy about corporate evil. A unique animation process called “photomontage” was used to make the film. Alex voiced a character as did his father, Stellan Skarsgard.

Metropia is one of the movies for which Tribeca Film acquired the rights to distribute through this new platform. Beginning April 21, it can be found on the “Tribeca Film” category of the Movies on Demand channel or pay-per-view section.

While True Blood fans anxiously await June 13, they might be eager for this opportunity to see another one of Alex’s projects, even if it’s just to hear his voice!


(Photo credit:


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