Bon Temps Tattler: The Truth Shall Set You Free!

April 19, 2010 by  

Good morning Bon Temps Tattler readers I hope you have a wonderful, God fearing day, I say good morning because good Christian folks will read this in the morning, as for the others, well I don’t reckon I care much on how their night is going.

I, Lettie Mae Thornton, am here as a disciple of Christ; he came to me in a dream and told me, “Lettie Mae you need to help my poor child Mrs. Fortenberry for she is fighting demons on her own doorstep.”  Now you all know I am not one to turn my back on my Lord, so I am here to defend the honor of my dear sister in Christ, even if she is in the wrong church.

She is dealing with things that even my Tara won’t have nothing to do with, my Tara, she ain’t a good girl but she ain’t stupid neither. Look here, I ain’t one to be saying anything bad about no family members; Lord knows I am praying for my Tara and that Lafayette will just be the death of me, but that Hoyt Fortenberry needs to have a willow switch taken to his backside. Everything mines has done can be forgiven but if that Hoyt gets turned into one of those night creatures, well there is just ain’t no hope for him, worse it would break his poor momma’s heart.

The good book has shown us the way; we just got to follow the path. Matthew 5:19 says: “But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” I believe this is telling us that we will need to be in the mist of them but we must turn from them, not even looking at them. I draw the line at my childrens thou, they are weak and we as elders need to show them the way. This is what Mrs. Fortenberry has done with her new group and I do stand with her on this worthy fellowship.

Deuteronomy 31:6 says: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” This I believe is the verse that Mrs. Fortenberry truly needs for she is doing the Lords work in the MADV organization. I will sign up and help her anyway I can.

I contacted the Shreveport church called Fellowship of the Sun; I was convinced they were very good till I found out that Jason Stackhouse had been a member. Lord above knows those Stackhouse’s are always into the dark arts, I am not one to gossip but isn’t that what cause the death of Adele Stackhouse? Had Sookie not been sleeping with that Vampire Bill then Adele would still be with us and I would bet she would be helping Mrs. Fortenberry too. I believe that Miss Jeanette would still be with us too, if not for those devil lovers. I asked the Fellowship to come down in the future to show Mrs. Fortenberry their full support.

I do hope that Hoyt understands the danger his mother has put herself in just to protect him. I am one that truly believes that children are a reflection of their parents, but there are times that this is not correct. Myself and Mrs. Fortenberry are very good examples of this, take that Hoyt for example. He has started dating that girl Jessica Hamby, flaunting her in his mother’s face. I was so embarrassed for my sister when I heard she dined with it. Hoyt you should be ashamed to do that to that good Christian woman, but what did the gossip minded want to talk about? All they talked about was Maxine drinking a couple of beers, if that is all they noticed then this town is doomed to hell.

Now I have given my two cents on this subject and I will be at church on Sunday morning and bible study every Thursday afternoon at the VFW. I will be passing out the MADV pamphlets along with my church notices. I have become a member, also signed Tara and Lafayette up as well; no they don’t know, but there are times the blind must be led. We would appreciate your support as well; we are in a war with the devil. Praise Jesus, we were winning till Satan made his servants so appealing, attacking the weak minded like Sookie Stackhouse and Hoyt Fortenberry.

Praise the Lord and may his light shine on you as it has me,

Mrs. Lettie Mae Thornton

[Editorial comment: Please feel free to leave your opinions in the comment section at the bottom of this ‘Letters to the Editor’ section. No reason why us more normal folks can’t have our say too!]

(Header Graphic:  Kasandra Rose)

This column is an unauthorized parody of the HBO TV show True Blood.  There is no relationship between what you see in this column and what will appear on the screen or in the Sookie Stackhouse novels.  This has been presented for entertainment purposes only and the actions, events and answers presented here have nothing to do with any persons or characters real or imagined, living or dead or undead.

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  • Dennis Ward

    Didn’t just a few months ago this woman throw a fit at a funeral and thank Adele Stackhouse for practically raising her daughter since she (miss Thornton) was usually too drunk to do so?

    Hoyt Fortenberry was well known as being the sweetest momma’s boy in Bon Temp, If he’s willing to fight his mother about this Hambly girl, than all I can say is she must be something special to him, and that Maxine Fortonberry is overreacting. MADV is nothing but a bunch of ninnies who want to support Maxine.

    Gotta love living in a town so small we can get away with publishing our own barroom gossip as news. what next we’re going to start hearing Jason Stackhouse chip in his opinion of MADV, since he and Hoyt are boy hood friends, and his sister happens to be dating Jessica’s maker?