Book Review: How to Catch and Keep a Vampire

October 25, 2009 by  

How to Catch and Keep a VampireAt the end of every True Blood episode, do you find yourself all swoony over Bill Compton and/or Eric Northman? Have you watched all of your favorite vampire movies over and over again, wishing you were the one being bitten and seduced? Do you yearn for a date with the undead? Then you should definitely read Diana Laurence’s How to Catch and Keep a Vampire: A Step-by-Step Guide to Loving the Bad and the Beautiful, which was just released to bookstores October 23.

With case studies both humorous and cautionary, step-by-step instructions, and a handy Q & A section in every chapter, How to Catch and Keep a Vampire is a wonderful guide to balancing fantasy and passion with your ordinary life.

Sookie Stackhouse could definitely learn a thing or two about keeping her vampiric romantic entanglements from bleeding (ha-ha) into her workplace. She could also use the book to help her determine which vampires are good, which are bad (but in a good way), and which are quite simply evil.

But several of the other True Blood characters would be wise to use the book as well. Hoyt Fortenberry might be better able to understand Jessica Hamby‘s darker tendencies.  Hoyt could also use the book in order to learn how to talk to his mother and friends to explain his relationship with Jessica in a way that will help them become more accepting of his choice. Fangtasia‘s screamiest fangbanger waitress, Ginger, might stop being quite so fearful and groveling and get a little needed spunk and backbone, which would actually make her more attractive to the undead. Maybe if she stopped calling him master and bowing to his every whim, Eric might show her a little more attention once in a while.

I really enjoyed How to Catch and Keep a Vampire.  It’s fun, humorous, and has an underlying message that I can definitely get on board with. If you’ve had people poo-poo your vampire passions, this book assures you that you are not alone and that your interests are totally normal. While I have a normal and ordinary outer life, I firmly believe that having an active imagination is essential for my sanity, and I never take myself too seriously.

If you want to know more, check out the website for the book.  There you can find an “ask the vampires” section as well as an “ask the authors” section, and you can submit your own personal experience with a vampire.


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  • Antonio, although my book is directly mostly to female readers, there is plenty of info that’s applicable to males as well. And there’s Gwendolyn, my hot but sweet Welsh vampire friend. As for a werewolf dating guide, I’ve got nothing against werewolves (Sam as a dog is certainly cuddly), but I’m really a Vampire Gal! (“Fur on Your Sofa”…nice.)

  • antonio

    Your NEXT Book should be How To Tame A Female Vampire..A Guy’s guide to Dating Vampire Ladies!

    • antonio

      Plus lets not forget another book could be Fur On Your Sofa..How to Date and Keep a Werewolf! LOL

  • Hey, the honor was all mine! And if I and my vampire pals Conner, Mordred, Colin et al. can be of any further assistance to you and your readers (especially during the agonizing off season), just let me know! Thanks again.

  • Hi Delia! My book has gotten all kinds of happy reviews, but I have to say, yours is my favorite yet. I just love that you thought about the Bon Temps gang reading it and applying it to their various situations. I actually discovered and devoured True Blood after finishing the book, but it was uncanny to me how much the show (and Charlaine’s books) jive with my own “vampireverse.”

    And as the author, I’m thrilled how the message of the book resonated with a fellow TB fan. Yay!

    I posted a link to your review to “How to Catch and Keep a Vampire’s” Facebook fan page ( and I know the fans will get a real (fang)bang out of it! Thanks so much…I’m so pleased you enjoyed my book.

    • Delia Remington

      Thank you so much, Diana! I’m very honored that you read my article, and it’s wonderful that you liked it so well. Thanks also for the link from your Facebook page. I really did love the book. 🙂