UK Third Installment of True Blood Season 1 – Mine

One of the vamps offered the male human (Jerry) for Bill to feed on, to which Bill agrees. As he is about to bite the human, Sookie hears the human’s malicious thoughts; he has “Hep D”.Sookie shouted “STOP!! he has Hep D” Bill stopped and the human pounce on Sookie and try to strangle her, but Bill broke Jerry’s hand and pushed him away. The other vamps grabbed Jerry and head out but one of the vamps wanted to know how Sookie knew about Jerry, however, Bill communicated with Sookie, letting her know not to say anything and the other vamps swiftly disappear.

Once they have gone, Bill apologized to Sookie for her encounter with the other vampires. Sookie asked Bill what Hep D is and Bill explained it as the only human disease that can affect vampires.  Hep D is harmless to humans but weakens vampires for about a month, it makes them weak, and easier to stake.

Sookie then asked Bill what on earth he meant when he said to the others that she was his. Bill explained that he was communicating with the others to let them know that he was the only one who could feed on her. Sookie was appalled and said that he “most certainly cannot” feed on her. However, had he not said what he had said, Sookie would have been fair game.

Sookie was angry with everything that she had encountered that evening. She explained to Bill that she found some contractors that have agreed to see Bill after dark. When she told Bill that she had to go home, Bill asked Sookie if he may kiss her good night. She refused, explaining that she “couldn’t stand it after them”.

Meanwhile, Tara and Sam as they finished their shift at the bar, they started to have a heart to heart. Tara knew that Sam was in love with Sookie and didn’t hold back when she asked why Sam has not made a move yet. Sam shot back at Tara about her love for Jason. It was like a tennis match between them, with comments being thrown back and forth.

Let’s not forget Jason, who we last saw tied to Dawn’s bed while she went to her shift at Merlotte’s.  She returned home after her shift to find her bed empty. Dawn was then molested, and forced on to the bed by an oddly dressed man. Dawn, at first thinks its Jason, but the man explained in a Scream-esque telephone voice that Jason was his starter and he was coming back for main course with Dawn. While Dawn is in a state of terror about the situation, Jason revealed himself from the mask. When Dawn realized that it was Jason, she lashed out. Jason cheekily told Dawn it was foreplay and he ended up getting his way with her again!

All was not well, part way through their very erotic sex, Jason lost his erection. Jason, being Jason, was understandably very upset. Dawn told him it happens to everyone, but Jason assured her that it had never happened before. Dawn returned from putting some clothes on with a gun, telling Jason to get our of her house.

He thought that she was messing around until she fired a warning shot at the floor. Jason made a run for it, while the neighbors came out to witness the commotion. While fumbling to get into his truck, Jason yelled towards the street that Dawn is a “crazy bitch”.

Back to Tara and Sam, who continued their heart to heart. Tara suggest that they should sleep together. At first, Sam flatly refuses Tara, but after persuading himself, he agreed to have no strings sex with her.

Tara returned home after her raunchy night with Sam, only to be confronted by her drunk mother who hit her with an empty liquor bottle. Tara left with haste and head straight to Lafayette’s.

Although Lafayette was ‘busy’ with a state senate (who pretends to someone he isn’t), he lets Tara in and gave her some TLC and a little extra.

The episode then jumped back to Sookie working hard on her grandma’s garden. Sookie has kept herself busy, trying to figure out her dilemma of what to do over Bill. She was not sure whether to follow her heart or her head.

She headed over to Bill’s and sat outside; it was midday, while Bill was fast asleep (or whatever it is he does when its daylight!)

Sookie thoughts take over her,  and she had a few ‘private moments’ before she was rudely interrupted by Sam calling her on the phone. Sookie was on her day off and she promptly told Sam that she was not coming in. However, all Sam wanted Sookie to do was to go and check on Dawn as she had not turned up for her shift. Sookie unenthusiastically agreed to go to Dawn’s.

Sookie arrived at Dawn’s, knocked more than once before inviting herself in. She walked in to find Dawn’s alarm clock  still ringing. Sookie made her way to Dawn’s bedroom only to find Dawn sprawled across the bed….Dead.

So yet again True Blood leaves you hungry for more.

This episode had a lot going on. I didn’t think it was as fast paced as the previous episodes and I kind of missed seeing Bill! However, we did get to learn a little more about Sam, Jason, Tara, and Lafayette.

More Bill in the next episode please!!!!

True Blood is on Every Wednesday at 22.00GMT on Channel 4.

The UK Second True Blood Installment – First Taste

Last week we were left high and dry with a cliff hanger. The episode throws you back to where the last episode left us; it’s at full pace from the start. The Rattrays are beating Sookie, to within inches of her life, and the mysterious dog from the first episode reappears trying to distract the Rattrays, but one of them pulls a gun on the dog.  Sookie makes a grab for the gunman, but something throws him up into the air and against the trees and slits his throat, closely followed by the remaining Rattray. You kinda guess that they are both dead.
You know it is Bill that has come to the rescue and he picks up Sookie, taking her to a secluded area, while she falls in and out of consciousness. He rests Sookie gently on the ground and Sookie explains that she cannot feel her legs. Bill then takes a bite from himself and tells her she must drink his blood. She refuses as she doesn’t want to become a vampire, however, Bill assures her that she won’t and he forces her to drink his blood before his wound heals.  Sookie reluctantly drinks Bill’s blood, and it turns into a very sensual moment. After the reluctance fades, you realize that she is enjoying it far, far too much.

She then loses consciousness, and the scene cuts to her waking up to see Bill licking blood off her forehead.  Bill asks her “what are you” to which Sookie replies that she is a telepath.  Bill asks if she can hear his thoughts but Sookie states that she can’t and that is why she likes him so much because it is so relaxing after a lifetime of hearing “blah, blah, blah.” As Sookie starts to move she realizes that she is healed. She is shocked and asks Bill if doctors know what “V juice” can do; he explains that it is indeed a secret between them. Whilst Bill is walking her back to her car, Sookie asks his age.  Bill explains that he became a vampire in 1865, when he was just 30 ‘human years’ old. Sookie inquires about whether he was in the Civil War, which he confirms that he was. Sookie asks him to come and speak to her Grandma about the Civil War. Bill thinks about this for a moment and agrees to go because it will make Sookie happy. Bill arranges to visit Sookie the following day…after dark.

Meanwhile, Jason is being questioned by the police over Maudette’s murder. The police wait twelve hours before showing him a video that they have recovered of Maudette and him being particularly intimate, including a snippet of what happens when Jason leaves the scene. It shows Maudette is only playing dead and once Jason has left, she unhooks herself from the position she was in and turns the camera off. The police release Jason, and he goes straight to see Dawn (a waitress at Merlotte’s). All Jason wants is his way with yet another women, especially after the day he has had and, inevitably, gets what he wants!  In the second episode you learn a little bit more about the various characters. You find out that Tara’s mother is a drunk and that Tara hates living at home with her. She has her cousin Lafayette to call on when she doesn’t want to be at home. I really like Lafayette; he is a wicked character, he is fun, hilarious, and brings people out of their shells.  I only hope we see more of him as the series progresses.

You also meet Sookie’s Grandma, who dotes on both her grandchildren as they are all she has left of her family and she is all Sookie and Jason have too.  Sookie and her Grandma seem to have a special relationship. Sookie’s Grandma is very similar to Sookie in her  acceptance of vampires and is very excited that Bill has agreed to talk to her about the Civil War.  Bill arrives at Sookie’s; however, not only is he meeting Sookie’s Grandma, he also has the pleasure of meeting Jason and Tara, who are extremely rude to Bill. Sookie’s Grandma puts Jason firmly back in his place; she will not tolerate rudeness in her home. Bill agrees to talk at the church for Sookie’s Grandmas club.

With the acceptance of Sookie’s Grandma, Bill takes Sookie for a walk. Sookie pesters Bill with more questions. She wants to know what effects Bill’s blood will have on her, to which he explains that her senses will be heightened, as will her libido, and his ability to feel where Sookie is (he will even know if she is in trouble). Sookie demands that Bill try and work his magic in influencing her, but is surprised when he is unable to take control of her. They both accept each others special abilities and start walking again. Bill takes her to his home, and explains to Sookie that he is renovating the place and she offers a lending hand in helping to find contractors.

Bill then takes things a little further and is overwhelmed as he tells Sookie that that he can “smell the sunlight on your skin”.  Sookie is so drawn to him and grabs onto to Bill and they kiss passionately until Bill’s fangs make a sharp entrance and Bill pulls himself away from her.  Bill is embarrassed about his fangs and decides to take Sookie home.

You really start to see that both characters are falling for each other when Sookie keeps having adult dreams about Bill. It’s clear that Bill is falling for Sookie as well; he understands that Sookie can only be herself around him because she cannot hear his thoughts.

The next scene between Sookie and Bill, Sookie arrives at Bill’s home to deliver the contractors details however, she is greeted not by Bill, but three not so friendly vampires, one of which looks strangely familiar.

What will happen to Sookie, will Bill save her again?

This was another cracking episode which left me scared for Sookie again; will the poor girl ever have an easy life?? We shall have to wait for the next installment of True Blood on Wednesday at 22:00 GMT on Channel 4.

True Blood UK Terrestrial Channel Debut

With the roaring success vampires have been having recently with the massive international success of the first feature length installment of the Twilight Saga and the vampire fictional worlds growing ever stronger, it was no surprise that True Blood would be any different; in fact, it has been a huge phenomenon in the States. With the eagerly anticipated UK terrestrial channel arrival of True Blood on Channel 4 and its raunchy ad campaign (which had you begging for more) I, for one, waited with baited breath as True Blood landed on our screens last Wednesday.  Within the first few minutes I was hooked with its catchy theme tune, which gets into your head and has you singing “I wanna do bad things to you” throughout the day (which to be honest is not a great thing in an office environment!!).  The show itself is based in a small town called Bon Temps, Louisiana, where everyone knows everything. Sookie Stackhouse is the lead female character (played by Anna Paquin), and is an ordinary girl who works as a waitress in Merlotte’s Bar. Except she’s not so ordinary; she has a special power. She can hear peoples thoughts. Her gift is sometimes a hindrance: she has not been able to have a boyfriend, not for the want of trying, but she hates hearing what they want to do to her and what they think of her.  Oh, and I should also mention that in this world vampires live amongst the humans, no longer in secrecy. They have their own rights, and no longer need to feed off mortals to sustain their needs; the new invention of Tru Blood, a synthetic blood, satisfies their nutritional needs. Sookie soon realizes that vampires cannot always take care of themselves. She ends up rescuing a vampire from the Rattrays (a pair of low-life trash) who are trying to drain him of his blood, which is very sought after by us mortals.

It all starts off with Sookie having a bad shift, her worse customers have arrived (the Rattrays). As Sookie puts it so very eloquently “no count, backwards, trash”.  As always Sookie is polite and deals with them as she does with every other customer.

Her world is turned upside down when Merlotte’s gets its first resident Vampire coming into thew bar. Sookie knows straight away what he is; she has no preconceptions and dives straight in, head first to introduce herself. She doesn’t care what people think: she is intrigued by the vampire, and confused that she cannot hear his thoughts, however, she hears the Rattrays’ thoughts and knows there is going to be trouble.

But will Sookie’s rescue land her in trouble??

So with the Rattrays taken care of by Sookie’s intervention and the vampire in debt to Sookie, he introduces himself as Bill Compton (played by Stephen Moyer). Sookie is amazed that she cannot hear his thoughts. She is at peace because for once she has no-one else’s thoughts to hear but her own! Sookie is not the only one who is taken by surprise; Vampire Bill is taken aback when Sookie refuses to take the blood that the Rattrays have drained.  There is definitely something different and unique about her that he has not expereinced in a long time. Sookie says her goodbyes and cannot secretly wait to see him again.

Sookie has alot of people looking out for her, she has her brother Jason who is the complete opposite to Sookie and keeps his brain firmly in his trousers. I think secretly we all wish we could bottle what Jason has and bring it out every Saturday night; he is a bag of fun and is one hell of a ladies man. His heart is in the right place when it comes to family and he loves his sister dearly.

Then there is Sookie’s boss Sam Merlotte (the owner of Merlotte’s bar, funnily enough) who is constantly looking out for her. Except he has his own agenda, he is truly in love with Sookie. Despite being a supporter of the vampire rights amendment, he is not too keen on them coming into his bar, especially the ones who have a keen interest in Sookie!

Last, but by no means least, is Sookie’s childhood best friend Tara Thornton. She is the punch first, ask questions later kinda girl! She loves Sookie like a sister and just wants to protect her.  All three do not want Sookie talking to Bill Compton; they are fearful for her and are afraid of change. They all think they know whats best for Sookie Stackhouse!

However, Sookie has a mind of her own. She arranges to meet Bill after her late shift at Merlotte’s. Bill thinks it’s a good idea to keep low as he does not want to rock the boat with the locals. He is already concerned that they are all talking about him. All Bill really wants is to fit in as best possible and live as much as a normal life as a vampire can lead.

Sookie leaves the bar at the end of her shift and gets into a spot of bother, to which point the episode leaves you high and dry!

Will Bill get to Sookie in time to save her……..

To sum up True Blood in five words (I could not narrow it down to three) would be, exciting, fun, sexy, different and down right RUDE! (I know its a little more than 5 words but it just had to be said!)

The opening episode of True Blood had me craving for more, it is probably one of the best openings to any series and I cannot wait to see episode 2 on Wednesday 2200GMT on Channel 4.

Season 2: Episode 12 – “Beyond Here Lies Nothin”

In the Season Two Finale, Bon Temps achieves peak mass hysteria with Maryanne preparing for a Looney Tunes wedding ceremony. Enlisting Sookie as Maid of Honor, Maryanne dons Granma Stackhouse’s wedding dress for the occasion sealing her new title of Miss Asylum Bon Temps 2009.

Sophie-Anne warns Eric to keep Bill from finding out too much about certain arrangements that are going on. Jason and Andy attempt to do good but end up becoming part of the revelry.

Hoytt ends up learning a few home truths that change the way that he and Maxine will interact in the next season, and leaves home hinting that Bon Temps Romeo and Juliet may be reunited next season. Here’s hoping.

Sam is forced to put his trust in Bill and make a risky move. Sam’s trust pays off and Maryanne is tricked into thinking that the God has come for her, thus bringing forth her downfall. Who said Maenads can’t be gullible?

Season two cliff hanger ends when Bill proposes to Sookie at Dinner. Overwhelmed, Sookie leaves to regain composure and when she makes the choice, on returning finds Bill gone.

Top 5 of Season 2 Finale

5. That huge egg turning out to be an ostrich egg. Way to put a red herring in there! Nice trick!

4. Maryanne wearing Gran’s wedding dress. Anyone who wears a dead ladies clothes is definitely CooCoo for Coco Puffs!

3. Hoytt telling his mother how it is. This is an amazing character development for him and it will be amazing to see him grow over the period of next season.

2. Sookies engagement proposal. The emotions that it stirred, and the questions that it raised? Brilliant.

1. The Number One best of Season Two Finale? Maryanne is Dead! Thank Goodness, now lets move on to something that is a little less… repetitive.

True Blood Season 2: Episode 11 – “Frenzy”

Bon Temps, once an idyllic little swamp side town is now in shambles and spiraling into debauchery, growing more violent by the second. In an attempt to put an end to this rapid decline Bill leaves town to consult the Vampire Queen of Louisiana, Sophie-Anne – only to find that getting information from her majesty is like pulling teeth. After spending the night in Sophie-Anne’s gaudy beach themed palace, Bill receives some cryptic information that might help the doomed town.

On waking Tara from her zombie possessed mind, Lafayette and Sookie find that it is harder to keep Tara alive when she is at full consciousness, than when she is posessed. On sweet talking her mother to undo her binding, Tara escapes in order to save Eggs and ultimately walks back into trouble.

Sam, with Arlene’s children in tow, seeks help from Eric out of shear desperation. Eric obliges and leaves to obtain information from Sophie-Anne and in the process crosses paths with Bill. In a strange twist of events, Hoytt protects Maxine from Jessica, leaving Jessica alone at Bills house, completely heart broken.

Sookie and Lafayette attempt to rescue Tara again from harms way only to discover that Tara is once again back under the control of Maryanne and is making a nest with Eggs for an oversized Egg.

Top 5 of Frenzy

1. The song Frenzy! I hadn’t heard that song since Songs in the Key of X – The X-files soundtrack came out in 1996!
2. Yahtzee! Wow what other game would Vampires like to play poolside? It helped make the scene more kitsch and human. Great choice!
3. Jessica’s heartbreak when Hoytt choses to leave with his posessed mother rather than stay. Fingers crossed they make up soon.
4. Sookies determination to save Tara even though it was a stupid choice. Sookie steps up as one of the stronger characters of the show at times when needed.
5. Sam asking Eric for help and Eric’s reaction. With the recent spate of Eric chasing Sookie around and showing vunerability – it is nice to see the colder side of his character coming through again.

True Blood Season 2: Episode 10 – “ New World in my View”

Sookie and Jason return to Bon Temps with Bill in a travel coffin. On arrival they find Bon Temps trashed and upside down. On further exploration they find everyone possessed by (unknown to them) Maryann. At Bills house Hoytt tried to contain Maxine’s possessed actions as Jessica tries to (unsuccessfully) contain her Vampiric rage.On returning home, Sookie finds her house inhabited by Maryann who has taken it upon herself to do a little redecorating. In an attempt to evict Maryann, Bill finds that his usual defense is powerless, but Sookie discovers that she holds an unexpected reaction to Maryann’s violence.

1. Jason Stackhouse’s dramatic scheme to free Sam Merlotte from the Townsfolk. So unconvincing – unless you were zombified by Maryann.

2. Jessica’s struggle to remain composed during Maxine’s outbursts. I think we have all been there!

3. Maryann’s redecorating. Although non traditional, it works in a supernatural Martha Stuart kinda way.

4. Welcome Back Tara!

5. The feeling that these characters have all walked into a B grade Zombie Horror film. It will be interesting to see how the town gets cleared up after.

[Editor's Prerogative: for my top spots and one demerit below]

1. Everything Jason.  Can you believe the double entandre of having Jason fake being ‘The God Who Comes’?  And Ryan played it perfectly.  Was I the only one that saw his ears perk up and rotate forward when a new waitress at Merlotte’s was mentioned?  I think that because she died before he got to score her she might have been the one that got away….
2. Bill is Back!  Where have you BEEN handsome?  Bill bonding with Jason (finally the father Jason always needed, who trusts him and treats him like a man).  Bill putting himself between Sookie and danger. Bill standing up to Eric. Bill trusting everyone.. Sookie (you fool!), Jason (good call!), Jessica (Oh Boy!)…  Bill and Sookie working together to bring back Tara was just awesome! This is going to be a great thing in the long run.. something they can do together.
3. Lafayette, as always, best lines of the night.  “If there was ever a time to trust a white man, this is the time.”  You don’t get much whiter than dead… “Just because Jesus and I decided to see other people doesn’t mean we don’t talk from time to time.” LOL!  Is there a name for that finger octopus he did in that chick’s face to back her out?
4. Dale Raoul played a bang up Maxine Fortenberry.  Yeah I still think Maxine is pathetic but that woman can play one wild, demonic game of Wii!

Even though I loved the episode there are only four favorite scenes tonight because it was just too damn SHORT!  Seriously, I doubt they ran out of material so what’s the deal?  And then we’re bombarded with advertisements? Isn’t the reason that we pay for HBO because we don’t get a lot of ads?  I understand that times are tough and that True Blood is attracting huge viewer numbers and it’s tempting to try to put it next to your WHOLE line up but 42 minutes?  Really? One demerit, see the nun in the corner for your time out.

Please put your top choices in the comment section WAY down at the bottom of the page!
(Photo credit: HBO)

True Blood “Timebomb” The Explosive Power of Ideas — Changing Worlds, One Idea at a Time

Imagine, if you will, a world in which the power of an idea could radically change the way we think…what we know, what we think we know, about ourselves, about each other and about the mysteries and miracles of understanding, forgiveness and mercy. What if? What if there really were supernatural beings, living right alongside with us … would we accept them? Reject them? Would we take the time to understand them? Would we judge? This episode has gotten people talking … talking about some pretty deep stuff… things like choice and consequence, tolerance and acceptance, victory over pain and loss, grief and injustice. Whoa. Some heavy duty stuff for a little show about vampires in Louisiana. Whoops. Did I just say a little show? Make that a great, big, ginormously delicious show about love and sex, trust and betrayal, and the power of *Ideas* which transcends what we might normally expect from television…and then some!

Godric. This character is aglow with a quiet fire, with wisdom, grace and an iron will to do what is right … no matter how unpopular his ideas may be. He stands firm and with a gentleness borne of someone who feels no doubt that he is choosing the right path, he teaches without arrogance and he shows us the painful burden of bearing the weight of 2000 years of living and all that has taught him about treating others with respect and dignity. Allan Hyde verges on the mystical in his portrayal of Godric and I have been profoundly moved by this character. You can deeply feel the sorrow of Godric’s life … and he shines a healing Light from every broken place in his spirit. He makes you believe that his world is very real and it is very easy to understand the fierce loyalty and love he inspires in those around him, most particularly Eric. There is a heartfelt beauty in the relationship between Godric and Eric which is an unexpected *gift*… and there is so much more I want to know about their backstory. I am grateful to the writers (in particular Alexander Woo for this episode!) for crafting this particular storyline between a vampire and his maker. It is important to note that the polar opposite is true in the relationship between Lorena and Bill … and I am very glad that Bill was able to break free from her when she “released him”. This seems like new territory in vampire mythology (at least in my admittedly limited understanding) and I love the possibilities which arise when there are no hard and fast “rules” which bind any being to an existence without the possibility of choice. How tragic an existence that would be!

Yup. This episode (and this season) has gotten my mind whirling with ideas and my spirit is filled with renewed hope and astonished wonderment. All in all, a very wonderful thing to have experienced as a result of watching truly inspired actors bring the words of incredibly gifted writers to Life. Familiar characters are faced with many choices and the consequences of those choices … and we see these beloved characters as kindred spirits in so many ways, yearning to follow them on their journey… hoping for Love to ultimately conquer all. Alas, I know that is only supposed to come true in fairy tales … but, I still *believe* that there is a bit of truth in every fairytale … and there is more than just a bit of truth in the stories True Blood is telling us this year.

The episode begins as we find Sookie (Anna Paquin) re-buttoning her dress with trembling hands following Gabe’s brutal attack. She looks in amazement at Godric (Allan Hyde) , who has just rescued her and watches as he dispatches with Gabe in one brutal twist of his neck. He tells Sookie, “You should not have come.”

Sookie hears someone coming and wonders aloud if it is Bill (Stephen Moyer) …Godric says, “No…” and closes his eyes, saying, “I am here my child..down here…” Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) rushes down the stairs and then stops still in front of Godric, speaking his name and falling to his knees in reverence and relief. Godric tells Eric he was a fool to send humans after him…and Eric, with his head bowed, tells him, “I had no other choice … these savages … they seek to destroy you.” Eric looks up at his maker, who tells him that he is well aware of what the Fellowship had planned for him. He also tells Eric that Hugo (lying on the floor, beaten and unconscious) is the one who betrayed them. Sookie finally speaks, telling Eric that Gabe is with the Fellowship and was aware of the trap which had been set for her. Eric asks Godric how long it has been since he has fed and he replies that he requires very little blood anymore. Suddenly, alarms sound amid flashing lights…and Godric tells Eric, “Save the human. Go on…” Eric protests, telling Godric that he is not leaving his side…Godric insists that he can take care of himself. Sookie tells Eric that they have to go…Godric tells Eric, “Spill no blood on your way out.” Eric looks at Godric, seeming conflicted by his urgent desire to bring Godric to safety and his equally strong will to obey his maker. He finally rises and follows closely as Sookie ascends the stairway.

Meanwhile, we find Jason (Ryan Kwanten) on his back in the dirt, examining the wet red stain on his chest (I guess those paintballs must pack quite a convincing punch!) and says, “I’m alive! God saved me. I’m saved”. Sarah (Anna Camp), in a towering temper, tells Jason, “Oh for heaven’s sake! Grow a brain cell! Paintballs!” Uhhh, excuse me for saying so, but Sarah might be in need of a few more brain cells herself!! Jason, finally realizing that he is far from dead, is not a very happy camper. Finally … I think he is beginning to see the Real Light of Day. Sarah bemoans the fact that she let him into her house, her bed and her heart. And a yadda yadda yadda. (Sorry folks, sweet Sarah was hot to trot for Jason from day one and looked for every excuse to betray her supposedly cherished values … which just goes to show that guys aren’t the only ones who make bad choices while thinking below the belt line…) Finally, she tells him that she gave him everything for a lie…and scornfully tells Jason that he is worse than Judas. In an all-time classic Jason Stackhouse response, he tells her, “Why? What’d he do to you?” Hilarious! Sarah definitely did not see the humor and shoots him right between the legs! Apparently those little suckers sure don’t tickle and Jason rolls around in agony. He tells her he is sorry and wants to know what he can say to keep her from shooting those paintballs at him again…she continues her rant, telling Jason that he came to prey on her and then ran like a coward. Jason tells her that he did run…but not from her…from her husband and his “crazy weapon collection.” He wonders why she “told him”… and she tells Jason, “I didn’t tell him anything, he’s the one who told me!”. Jason is now totally lost as to what the heck Sarah is going on about and asks her, “Wait! Told you what?” Then, as clear as mud, she tells Jason, “There are wolves in our hen-house. We must defend our flock.” He is still floundering and she finally spits it out, “We have your sister.” Things begin to clear up quite a bit for Jason and he wants to know if they have Sookie in the church. He tells her that Sookie has nothing to do with any of this. Sarah completely flips her lid and tells Jason, “You Stackhouse’s. You’re nothing but a bunch of heartless, two-faced, vampire effers” Well, this is finally the last straw for Jason (hallelujahs!!)… and he grabs the paintball gun away from her as she stumbles to the ground, telling her, “Don’t you ever talk about my sister like that! If I find out any of you so much as touched her, I’m gonna come back here and it won’t be with no effing paint gun!!” He then drives off in her jeep, leaving her by the side of the dirt road. When she stands up and begins to pathetically brush the dirt off of her Sunday-go-to-meeting dress, I found myself hoping that we have seen the last of Miss Sarah and her seriously screwed-up moral judgments…but, I have a bad feeling she will not just curl up and go away. No, I get the feeling that she is going to want some payback…and not in a pleasant way either…

Back at the FotS church, alarms still sounding, Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) speaks to his congregation from the loudspeakers…”Brothers and Sisters! We are on lock down!”… asking everyone to evacuate the building, except “men and able-bodied women”… instructing the security personnel to provide them with silver and stakes. He tells them that the Soldiers of the Sun are on the way to protect them…

Eric and Sookie, meanwhile, are trying to make their way out of the church… Eric tells Sookie, “I could have you out of here in seconds”… Sookie says, “There’s kids out there…” Eric tells her that “none of these humans would think twice about hurting us” while Sookie wonders why he didn’t bring Bill with him. Eric replies that Bill’s attachment to her is “irrational…it clouds his judgment. He would kill every child in this church to save you.” Sookie asks, “Why aren’t you?” (Hmmm. Is this the beginning of “who loves Sookie more?” Arrgghh! ) Eric tells her that he is following Godric’s orders and getting her out, that’s all. Sookie asks him, “He’s your maker, isn’t he?” Eric looks her in the eye and says, “Don’t use words you don’t understand.” Sookie insists, “You have a lot of love for him…” to which he replies, as only Eric can, “Don’t use words I don’t understand”. Classic!! Eric continues to watch the door, figuring out a way to get out…he makes a move to walk over toward the men guarding the exit…and Sookie urgently whispers to him, “Eric! No!!” He walks over to her, bending very close to her ear and whispers, “Trust me.” (Okay, I think I just melted into this chair. Whoopsie. Back to our regularly scheduled program now …) He begins walking over to the exit, hunching over… and in his best impression of Dorks from Dallas [Editor's Note: This bit was hysterical, definitely a party favorite for Mr. Skarsgard], he says, “Hey ya’ll! How’s it goin’? Steve sent me over to man the exit here”…with a goofy and (what he probably thinks is a) non-threatening grin. “I think I can take it from here…” One of the guards looks dubious and says, “By yourself?” Eric aka Big Goofball says “Uhh, Yep.” The guard looks him over again and says, “Big and all, but there’s a vampire on the loose…” Eric says, “Ohhhhh.” The guard wants to know where his stake is … and in my very favorite line, Eric says, “Ohh Dang … I forgot.”… rolling his eyes and aw-shucks-ing all over the place.

Silly, silly, silly… but I loved every single minute of it. It is hilarious to imagine that Eric would think he is doing a good impression of a human…and it was too much fun watching the Dread Viking Vampire Sheriff being a big ole goofball. Especially considering how convincing he was at ripping Royce into shreds earlier in the season, it is a very welcome diversion to see other colors in Eric’s palette. Thank you, Alex, for all the many ways in which you have made Eric Northman a character I absolutely love.

Eric continues trying to coerce one of the guards into handing over their stake… finally resorting to putting the glam-whammy on one of them, who begins to hand it over… but one of the others decides that Eric IS a vampire … and as he begins to try to stake Eric, Sookie yells out, “Stake!!!” Eric disarms all of them and is about stake one of the guards right in the neck when Sookie stops him, saying, “Eric, you don’t have to kill him.” Probably reminded of Godric’s command as well, he viciously throws down the stake in frustration. He opens the exit door to take Sookie to safety and sees a whole posse of “Soldiers of the Sun”…and the guard tells Eric that they will never make it though since they have wooden arrows. Sookie then says, “Eric! Through the sanctuary…” and as they walk through the church, Eric wonders aloud where the exit is … when suddenly, Steve Newlin speaks to them from the altar… saying that there are several exits … but “for you, the easiest one takes you straight to hell.” Soldiers of the Sun (SotS) come streaming into the church from all sides, carrying huge silver chains and wicked looking stakes. Sookie pleads with Steve to let them leave … telling the SotS to save themselves … reassuring them that no one has to die. Steve is really just warming up to his audience now and calls out, “The war has begun, you evil whore of Satan.” Steve Newlin the Drama King.

Steve tells Eric and Sookie that the vampires cast the first stone by killing his family. He says, “the lines have been drawn. You’re either with us or against us. We are prepared for Armageddon.” I continue to find Steve Newlin to be one of the most frightening and repulsive characters I have ever encountered … and Michael McMillian is doing one hell of a bang-up job portraying this evil man because he is totally convincing… in fact, it is chilling just how real this character seems to be. You can feel the sadistic malevolence just rolling off of him in waves … and it is scary to think how persuasive and seductive such a person could be, convincing people that there is any justification whatsoever for his brand of religious insanity.

Sookie tells Steve that the vampire they were holding prisoner has gotten away and that he has undoubtedly sent for help. Steve tells her that he is not concerned with Godric, saying (with a note of fanatical glee) “Any vampire will do for our grand celebration…and we got one right here…” pointing right at Eric. Eric looks at Sookie for a few seconds and reassures her, “I’ll be fine.” Steve grins like a total lunatic as Eric approaches him in submission, with his head bowed. You have just got to wonder what is going through Eric’s head at that moment. For me, it simply speaks of Eric’s devotion to Godric and his determination to follow the will of his maker. Steve is pleased as punch at this turn of events and cackles maniacally as he calls out, “Brothers and Sisters, there will be a holy bonfire at dawn!!”.

Can you even imagine an entire group of people being so filled with fear and hatred that they could celebrate watching another being as they are burned at the stake? This completely boggles my mind. I just cannot even imagine it.

Over at the Hotel Carmilla, another being with evil intent is hard at work … Lorena (Mariana Klaveno) has trapped Barry the Bellboy (Chris Coy) against the door… telling Bill, “Look dear, room service has sent a gift for us.” Barry objects strenuously and Lorena comments that his heart is pounding and thanks him, since he will be so much tastier that way. Ick. Bill seems to be reaching out for Sookie, calling out her name … which Lorena finds highly annoying. She says, “That bothersome human. Just like an alarm clock you can’t switch off. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then 10 minutes later, blah.” She turns to Bill, smiling seductively (she thinks) and tells him she will give him first bite of their most unwilling meal aka Barry. Bill snarls at her, telling her he is not hungry. Lorena tells him, “Oh come now, your appetite was… as I recall… Insatiable.” She continues, saying, “this human-act you do for your girlfriend is charming and all … but we both know better…don’t we?” Barry begs her, “please, I don’t want to die” as Bill growls at her to let him go. She tells him she will let him go… soon … as she bares her fangs and begins to feed on Barry, who cries out in terror and pain. She stops feeding on Barry, with a confused look on her face, saying, “this one’s different. I’ve never tasted …What are you??” Bill has taken advantage of her distraction and lowers the boom on her head with a plasma flat screen television…not once, but twice!!! Ding Dong the Witch is Dead!? Don’t think we can get that lucky, but she is most definitely down for the count! Yaaayyy!! Bill grabs Barry and hightails it outta the door.

In another room at the Hotel Carmilla, Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Hoyt (Jim Parrack) are making love for the first time amidst the rose petals … and Hoyt wants to know if she is okay, worried that he might be hurting her. In true Jessica style she tells him to shut up and keep on going! Suddenly, Bill rushes into the room and Jessica screams in mortification and hides under the sheet. Hoyt, bless his sweet little ole heart, tells Bill, “I don’t know what you heard..but those were screams of pleasure…” asking Jessica “Right??” She just dives back under the sheets again. Bill, ever the true gentleman, looks away discreetly, but in a definitely fatherly tone, he tells Hoyt, “If you truly care for her, you will take her to your car this very moment and drive her back to Bon Temps before the sun comes up.” Hoyt asks, Now?” “NOW!” Bill commands him and flees from the room.

Meanwhile, at Merlotte’s, Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) are chilling out together as Lafayette’s reads her Tarot. When he turns over The Lovers card, she asks him, “Isn’t that good?” and Lafayette tells her that The Lovers card in this position calls for a sacrifice in matters of the heart …” He tells her she is going to have to make a choice. Tara is still hopeful, commenting that it might still turn out well. Lafayette asks her if she wants to see her future … and just as he is about to turn over the card, Eggs (Mehcad Brooks) bursts in the door … calling out for Tara to help him. We then see that the card Lafayette has turned over is Justice. Hmmm. Let’s hope that the people/creatures who have been wreaking holy hell on Bon Temps are the one’s who will get the justice they deserve. Lafayette then sweeps the cards from the table, with a comment that he’ll just go and clean a grill or something, leaving them alone to talk. Eggs is obviously distraught and tells Tara that he has blacked out once again and has a sick feeling that he has done something bad. Geez, ya think? I am sure Daphne would agree with that assessment. (Even though I am sure she would have done the Same or worse at Maryann’s command…) Tara tries her best to comfort him and they leave with arms wrapped around eachother. It seems like the wheels are finally turning in her head and I sincerely wish she would realize that the common denominator in all of the recent madness and chaos is Maryann. While she still has a heart beating in her chest!

Back at the FotS church, armed guards stand watch with chains and stakes as Jason hauls butt into the parking lot in the “borrowed” jeep. Jason tells them that he is with the Fellowship and they have to let him in to the church … but one of the guards tells him, “Sorry Bro, we’re in lock down. There’s a vamper inside.” Jason tells them that is exactly why they sent for him, telling them that he is a “cadet with the Light of Day Institute” and he came “strapped”, holding up his paintball weapon. They seem less than impressed at first until Jason points at the silver ring that he is wearing and says “Honesty.” One of the guards says, “Dude! Honesty!” and they give each other a little fist punch, clinking the rings together. He escorts Jason into the church, telling him that they have the vamper surrounded and that the vamp has a “fangbanger chick with him”, obviously referring to Sookie. The guard unfortunately notices that Jason is carrying a paintball gun … but then Jason smashes him over the head with it and knocks him out, proving that it is a pretty effective weapon after all. Jason hauls the unconscious guard out of the foyer…

We then find Sam (Sam Trammell) sleeping in his truck in the woods, awakened by his cellphone ringing. The caller I.D. tells him that it is “Merlotte’s” calling and he answers it, demanding to know who it is … but there is no one there.

Cut to Merlotte’s, lights out and silent … Sam is slowly creeping in the door and finds the walk-in refrigerator door open with the light on … and he discovers someone has left him a very gruesome gift: Daphne, with her heart cut out of her chest. Eeeeuuuwwww! He makes a half-hearted attempt to wrap her in hefty bags and then thinks better of it, dialing 911 on his cellphone … just as the operator answers, there is a knock on the door and lights flashing … with someone calling out, “Sheriff’s Dept. … Anybody in there?” Even a vampire couldn’t have gotten there that quick!! This really freaks Sam out since he realizes that he is being set-up, bigtime.

The next scene gets my vote for the most disgusting scene on record (Yes, even worse than Lafayette and Royce’s ripped-off leg…and that is saying something!) Maryann is busy in the kitchen at Sookie’s (and Maryann in Sookie’s kitchen is bad enough as it is…) She is sautéing some onions and peppers in a pan, humming a little tune to herself… and what ingredient is served up next from the Maenad Chef? Daphne’s heart! She takes it from an everyday kitchen bowl and begins to caress it, as it drips blood and she says, “Mmmmm”. Then she sets it on a cutting board and begins slicing it into bite size chunks and puts it in the pan to cook. Eeeeyuck!! It is almost as hard to write this down as it was to watch it. Enough said.

Let me just pause to say I am in awe of Michelle Forbes. It really takes fortitude, tremendous courage and a willingness to be completely despised to be able to take on a character like Maryann. What is most amazing is the way Michelle allows us to fully understand that Maryann is not like us in any way, shape or form … and never apologizes for what she is. She does not have the slightest clue that there is anything wrong with what she does … in fact, she celebrates it. She shows us that Maryann glories in the power and the dark energy that she is able to summon. Maryann is one of the most talked about characters in the True Blood world … and the fact that she is able to get under our skin and make us shudder with fear and loathing shows that Michelle has made Maryann come to life in all of her evil splendor. Yes, there is something beautifully mad in the Maenad … a creature which thrives on the dark side of Life and delights in creating chaos and mayhem. It is hard to watch and impossible to ignore. Although I definitely would like to see the Maenad get her just desserts, I cannot help but be thoroughly impressed by Michelle Forbes. Brava!!

Over at the Fots church, Eric moans in pain as heavy silver chains burn into his flesh … while Steve Newlin exultantly tells his “congregation” that a few ounces of silver can betray a child of Satan to the world. Sookie looks on in horror…asking, “How can you people listen to him!!??” Eric haltingly begins to speak, “I offer myself in exchange for Godric’s freedom…and the girl’s, as well.” Steve tells Eric that it is noble of him to offer, but Sookie is “a traitor to the human race. She hardly deserves mercy!” Looking down into Eric’s face, Steve taunts him, saying, “Maybe we should tie her to you, so you can meet the sun together? I bet this marshmallow (referring to Sookie) would roast up nicely!” There is something quite nauseating in the way Steve seems to take such sadistic glee in torturing and tormenting those he has deemed “unworthy”. Sookie continues struggling to break free from her captors…and suddenly, Bill bursts through the doors into the sanctuary, calling out to Sookie as he does. She turns to look at Bill with relief and hope … and he tries to rush to her, but is stopped when Steve pulls out a gun and points it at Sookie, telling Bill, “One more step vampire and the girl dies,” Bill snarls, showing his fangs… telling Steve, “if you shoot her, everyone here will die. Let her go now!!” Steve looks at Sookie with disgust and wonders, “Honestly, what do they see in you?” and tells his soldiers to get out the silver chains to subdue Bill. Luke begins to take a step toward Bill and Sookie cries out, “Don’t!! He’s done nothing to you!!” Suddenly, Jason shouts, “Newlin!!” to get Steve’s attention and shoots him in his gun hand with a green paintball. Steve cries out in pain (I guess those little suckers must pack one helluva punch!) [Editor's note: They do when shot that close!] Sookie looks at her brother in stunned amazement as Jason tells Steve to let Sookie go and fires another paintball, smack dab between his eyes. (Nice shot, Jason!!) Bill wrests Sookie away from her captors and hugs her close to him. She then rushes to Eric to pull the burning chains free from his skin, releasing him. “Let’s go!” she tells Eric and Bill … but Eric has bloodlust in his eyes for Steve Newlin and slams him down with a fist around his throat. “Eric!! Do not kill him!” Sookie cries out, just as Jason yells at Eric, egging him on to kill Steve. Steve says, “Martyr us … we are willing to die!!” Just then, Stan enters the church with a posse of seriously pissed off vampires … telling Steve that they will kill them first, just like they did his father. Sookie says “God, no!” when she hears this … and Steve tries to escape from Eric, screaming out, “Murderers!!” Stan tells the vampires to destroy them all … and just in time, a voice calls out from the balcony, “Enough!!”. Godric stands alone, high above the chaos … and asks Stan in the calmest of voices, “You came for me, I assume?” Stan says, “Yes, Sheriff.” and backs away from Luke, just as he was about to sink his fangs into his neck.

Godric beseeches them , “These people have not harmed me. You see? We can co-exist. Mr. Newlin, I do not wish to create bloodshed where none is called for. Help me set an example. If we leave you in peace, will you do the Same?” Steve is unmoved and tells him that he will not negotiate with “sub-humans”. He looks up at Eric and bares his neck, telling Eric, “Kill me. Do it. Jesus will protect me.” Godric tells Steve, “I am actually older than your Jesus. I wish I could have known him..but I missed it…” and almost instantly, Godric appears in front of Steve, holding him up by the collar of his suit. “Good people,” Godric says, “who among you is ready to die for this man’s badness?” It is so silent that you could hear a pin drop and Godric says, “That’s what I thought. Stand down everyone. People, go home. It’s over now.” Sookie sags against Bill in relief and says, “Thank God.” Bill tells her, “It’s alright. You’re safe now.” Steve Newlin watches all of his people silently turning away from him and cries out, “Please don’t leave me!” Luke looks stunned and deeply conflicted, but turns to leave in spite of it. Godric releases Steve and tells him, “I daresay my faith in humankind is stronger than yours.” Godric tells his vampires to come with him, although Stan is none too happy about it. Eric turns to Sookie, asking her, “Are you sure you’re okay?” but Bill angrily gets in his face saying, “She’s fine, go with your maker”.

Jason rushes to Sookie and embraces her in total relief. He says, “I’m so sorry, will you please forgive me?” Sookie asks him, “What were you doing with these people? Are you out of your mind?!” Jason tells her that he definitely was … and tells her that Steve “sucked his brain out and planted all these little babies in there.” (Say what?! Another classic Jason-ism) Steve looks defiantly at Jason, telling him, “You know nothing. On the final day of reckoning, we’ll see who goes to heaven and who goes to hell.” Jason stands in front of Steve with a mocking grin and tells him, “I reckon I’ve already been to heaven. It was inside of your wife.” OUCH! That’s gotta hurt. Jason slams his fist into Steve’s face, as Sookie is telling him that they need to get going now! Jason throws his “honesty ring” at Steve and he picks it up, comprehension dawning on his face as he is left in his church completely alone. How poetic.

Meanwhile, back at Merlotte’s, Sam is being interrogated by Bud (William Sanderson) and Kenya (Tanya Wright). Sam tries to get them to tell him who called them to come to Merlotte’s in the first place … but Bud tells him, “That’s why it’s called an anonymous tip, we can’t tell you who phoned it in.” Sam tells him, “They wanted you to find me! Why would I keep a body in my own refrigerator?” Kenya tells Sam that there is a rumor that he has been seeing Daphne…which he doesn’t deny. Kenya seems very suspicious because Sam doesn’t “seem too beat up about it” and Sam tells her that they “sorta broke up.” (I am sure that he is probably thinking, if he told them why he really “broke up” with Daphne, they would probably throw him in the loony bin!) Finally, Sam tells them, “Listen, you’ll have to trust me. This is bigger and crazier than you can even imagine.” Kenya says, “I’ll say… this is the second time in two weeks that a woman has been found at your bar with her heart missing!” Sam is beginning to get pretty aggravated by now and tells them, “C’mon Bud, Kenya …listen to yourselves! You know me!” Bud tells him, “I’m not sure we do. You got no birth records. No social security number. We can’t even find out where you went to high school.” Sam tells Bud that it’s hard to explain…but Bud tells him, “Save it, son. Nothing about your past ever checks out…” Just about then, Andy (Chris Bauer) walks in … still disheveled and looking more than a little crazed… (Okay, is it just me, or is this more than a little ironic that Andy is actually the only one in law enforcement who has been actively investigating what is going on is this town…and he is also the only one who seems to be interested in finding out the real truth, no matter how strange it might be … the irony being that he has pretty much lost his badge for telling the truth, which Bud and Kenya assume is just the drunken ravings of a madman. It might be wise if they were to open up their eyes and their minds to what Andy is trying to show them…)

Andy tells Bud and Kenya that they have got the wrong man … going on to say, “Sam’s not the one you want. He’s a victim. I saw him nearly get killed last night..” Bud asks, “By who?” Andy says, “The Bull.” Kenya says, “The What??” Bud then says, “oh Andy… (speaking to Kenya) …he thinks he saw some kind of a bull…” Andy says, “with claws! A bull in a dress…with claws!!” Bud tells him he is just babbling again…and Kenya tells Bud to let her shut Andy up! ( I have to admit, it sounds completely nuts when he tells it, even though it is true … Poor Andy!) Then Andy tells them that the vic (Daphne) was a part of this whole group of crazy people who were trying to get Sam. He tells them that he tried to fight them off, and points at his cast on his arm, calling it a “war wound.” Andy looks at Sam in desperation, “I’m corroborating here, Sam, tell ‘em!!” Sam looks miserably at Bud and Kenya and says, “If I told you that’s what happened, would you believe me?” Bud and Kenya just look at them in silent disbelief. Andy finally realizes how crazy it really does sound … and says, “Ohhhh, shit!” It is indeed a crazy world when the guy who appears like he has lost every last marble in his head is actually the voice of reason. I am rooting for ya, Andy!! [Editor's Note: Me too, all he's ever wanted was to be a hero!]

Over at Sookie’s, Tara and Eggs are back on the couch … trying to figure things out. Tara tells Eggs he is not the only one who has “blacked out”… she has, Arlene has. She wonders if maybe there is a gas leak or something (this is really grabbing at straws here, Tara!!) Eggs says, “What about Andy Bellefleur? He said he saw all of us…” Tara dismisses this entirely, saying that Andy is the only one they know who is out of his mind! Eggs continues to insist that he has a sick feeling that he has done something bad…and then, “Knock Knock!!” Maryann tells them that she hopes she isn’t interrupting anything…” (Yeah, right!!) Eggs tells her, no…they are just trying to piece together everything they have been doing the past few days. Maryann tells them that it looks like somebody’s been enjoying themselves a bit too much (talking about herself actually!) Then she tells them that maybe they should all ease up on the partying and take it easy… both Tara and Eggs just sit silently, obviously distressed. Maryann then says, “Hey!! Snacks ready!” Tara and Eggs wander out to the kitchen and Maryann brings a baking dish to the table, with a big grin…”Hope you’re hungry!” She tells them that it is “hunter souffle”. Eggs says he didn’t know hunter’s made souffle’s…and she tells him, “most don’t… Dig in!!” Tara cuts into the souffle to serve it up and blood comes oozing out (come ON, girl, doesn’t that just look Wrong??!!) Eggs feeds Tara a bite sized piece of…the meat? Tara says, “Damn! What is in that… is that the rabbit you caught?” “Among other things …” says Maryann. (Like Daphne’s heart, for instance!? ICK.) Maryann grins as they start to devour the meal, then she laughs right out loud. Her minions are being sooo cooperative! They start to get giddy and Maryann just rocks in her chair in delighted anticipation…

Meanwhile, at the Dallas vampire nest, Godric is receiving visitors, who are lined up to greet him. Stan tells him, “Welcome home, Sheriff. We are all very relieved.” Godric just looks at him in silence. Jason is next up and somewhat nervously tells Godric that he is so sorry for what the Fellowship put him through. Godric replies, “You have saved many lives today, Mr. Stackhouse. Please know that you have friends in this area whenever you visit.” Jason tells him he doesn’t know that he will be wanting to come back to Dallas anytime soon. Jason turns to walk out of the room and almost bumps right into Eric. Eric says, a bit sarcastically to say the least, “Hail the Conquering Hero.” Jason tells him that he is no hero, but Eric tells him, “You are in this town. But in my area, we know you as a buyer and user of vampire blood and that is a very grave offense.” Jason assures Eric that he doesn’t do that anymore and Eric tells him that all things considered, they can call it even. Jason is in a hurry to end this conversation, but Eric looks him in the eye and tells him, “You won’t be doing that again.” Jason nods his head and Eric just shakes his head and Jason tells him, “No. No, I got it”. “Good boy.” Eric says, “Run along.” As he leaves, Eric just grins.

Elsewhere in the house, Sookie confronts Bill, wanting to know why he did not come to rescue her sooner. She says, “You’ve avoided being alone with me all night…” Bill replies, “Nonsense, with all the commotion there’s hardly been time…” Sookie tells him, “Bill, I was in that basement for two days. You don’t even want to know what almost happened to me down there. Where were you?” She goes on to say that he has always come running whenever she has needed him, even in broad daylight. He finally replies, “I was held.” Sookie replies, “Held? You mean kidnapped? By who? By Eric?” Eric walks over to them, “Hmmmm, I heard my name. I hope you were speaking well of me.” Sookie looks at him defiantly, “Why should I? You let me walk into a trap.” Eric tells her that he regrets it and if he had known that would be a possibility … but she cuts him off mid sentence, saying, “You did know. But because it was Godric, you’d risk anything.” Eric replies, “The bond between a vampire and his maker is stronger than anything you can imagine. Perhaps one day you’ll find out.” Bill looks daggers at Eric…Sookie looks at Eric and then both Sookie and Eric look at Bill. Hmmm. Quite a cat and mouse game going on here. It is amazing to see the way in which truly gifted actors such as Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgard can communicate so much without saying a word.

Back in Bon Temps, Jessica and Hoyt have arrived at Bill’s house and they barely make it in the door, kissing passionately. Hoyt looks so happy… and yet, a little worried about what might happen if Sookie and Bill arrived any minute now. Jessica is not about to be denied and tells Hoyt that she can’t believe she waited so long and warns him that they are, “gonna do it every night, whether you want to or not”. Then, Jessica throws him onto the couch and jumps on his lap, all at vamp speed … and Hoyt has pretty much stopped protesting at this point! Things are progressing rapidly … and suddenly, Jessica yells out in pain … it seems she is doomed to “be a virgin forever” since vampires heal immediately. Poor Hoyt looks like he is not sure what to say and promises her that it will always be beautiful and that every time will be like the first time. Jessica is distraught and Hoyt looks like he is a bit flummoxed as to what he can do to comfort her…

Meanwhile, at vamp headquarters in Dallas, we see Eric walk around a corner and Bill grabs him by the arm. Eric tells Bill that he does not like to be touched. (I hope he just means by Bill!) Bill tells him, “Believe me, I do not like touching you. Your contact with Sookie will cease from this moment.” Eric tells Bill that is hardly his decision. Bill then says, “Calling in my maker because you couldn’t win Sookie for yourself was feeble and desperate, even for you.” Eric just grins at Bill, and asks him, “Are you picking a fight? I’d like to see you try.” Bill tells Eric that Sookie will never be his and there is nothing he can do. Bill says, “In this you are powerless. Accept it.” Good grief, just get out the measuring tape and get it over with already. I guess boys will be boys, even when they are vampires!

Cut to Isabel bringing Hugo in to kneel before Godric. She says, “Here is the one who betrayed us.” Godric asks her if Hugo is her human and she tells him that he is. Godric asks, “Do you love him?” Isabel looks heartbroken and tells him, “I thought I did.” She weeps and hangs her head in shame. Godric says that it appears she loves him still. She says, “I do. I am sorry.” as Stan shakes his head in the background, looking disgusted. She tells Godric that he is her Sheriff and he can do with Hugo as he pleases. Godric looks at Hugo with compassion, telling him he is free to go. Even Hugo is shocked to hear this. Stan protests and Godric repeats, “The human is free to go….and do not return. I fear it is not safe for you here.” Stan tells Godric that this is a travesty and Godric replies, “This is my verdict.” Godric calls Eric to escort him out, asking him to be sure that Hugo leaves unharmed.

After Eric has taken Hugo out of the nest, Sookie confronts Bill once again, asking what that was all about…and he misunderstands her, thinking she is talking about Godric and Hugo. She tells him she is talking about Eric, wondering why Bill was just talking to Eric if he is the one who kidnapped him. Bill tells her that it was not Eric. She looks a bit exasperated at this point and is just about to ask him who it was when Jason interrupts and asks Bill if he can speak to him in private. Sookie looks more than a little frustrated that she is being foiled once again in trying to get some answers from Bill … but Bill consents after Jason tells them that he must say what he needs to say…or he never will.

Back in Bon Temps, Bud is locking Sam up in the jail … and Sam tells him, “I know everyone says this, but I’m not the guy you want.” Bud tells him, “If it’s like you said … that there’s something out there that’s fixin’ to getcha, then jail’s just about the safest place to spend the night.” Sam sees a couple of people he knows in other cells… Jane Bodehouse and Mike Spencer (who has apparently done something unmentionable to a pine tree!) Kenya tells him it has been a helluva night and it must be a full moon. Sam tells her he’s pretty sure it’s not.. (which is pretty funny since Sam the shapeshifter would surely know!) and Bud locks Sam up in a cell, leaving him looking pretty miserable…

In Dallas, Jason and Bill are having a little heart-to-heart talk … and Jason asks Bill to forgive him. Jason tells Bill, “you love my sister… and there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to. All this time I let my own stupid ignorance stand in the way.” Bill looks pretty taken aback, but says, “Thank you… but I am also in your debt for helping rescue Sookie.” Jason tells him it is the least he could do after all he did to screw things up, saying, “I am just sorry it took me so long to wake up to it.” Bill reassures him, “Well you did. Just in time.” Jason is so overcome with emotion that he grabs Bill and gives him a hug. After a couple of awkward moments, they pat each other on the back and Jason asks Bill, “Was that okay for you?” and Bill tells him, “It was fine.” So sweet and funny and touching! A classic True Blood moment for sure. [Editor's Note: Bill looked so uncomfortable as to be hysterical, he needs to be hugged more often!]

Elsewhere in the house, Eric goes to Godric to talk with him alone. He tells him, “The human has been dispatched. I told him not to stop driving until he reaches the Mexican border.” He tells Godric he has arranged for an AB Negative human for him, which is extremely rare. Godric tells Eric that he is not hungry, looking as though the weight of all the world is on his shoulders. Eric tells him he has to feed eventually, and tries to lighten things up, telling him with a bit of a grin that he is sure that the Fellowship did not have much to offer. Godric is silent and looks off into the distance. Eric senses his mood and asks him why he would not leave with him when he came to rescue him. Godric tells him that they (the Fellowship) did not treat him badly… and that Eric would be shocked how ordinary most of them are. Eric looks angry, telling Godric that, “The Fellowship does nothing but fan the flames of hatred for us.” Godric then looks sadly at Eric and says, “Let’s be honest. We are frightening. After thousands of years we haven’t evolved. We’ve only grown more brutal. More predatory. I don’t see the danger in treating humans as equals. The Fellowship of the Sun arose because we never did so.” Eric asks him, “Is that why you wouldn’t fight when they took you?” Godric tells Eric, “I could have killed every last one of them in minutes … and what would that have proven?” Eric seems to be struggling with conflicted emotions, but is listening intently to what his maker is telling him.

The writing in every scene with Godric is pure perfection … (Thank you again, Alexander Woo!) and Allan Hyde is such a joy to watch. As Godric, he perfectly illuminates the nature of compassion and mercy and the value of setting a peaceful example. You can feel how weary Godric is of the violence and the war between vampires and humans. It will also be very interesting to see how Godric’s example and influence might manifest itself in Eric’s life in the future …

Swinging to the far polar opposite from the peaceful example of Godric is the scene which follows with Tara and Eggs … an exceedingly disturbing scene that I had a very hard time watching. After consuming Maryann’s “hunter’s soufflé” they are at first giddy and then increasingly agitated… culminating with a sickeningly violent confrontation which morphs into sexual frenzy. [Editor's Note: I hated this scene, it was just all kinds of wrong, as Tara would say, "That's some fucked up shit, there!] All the while Maryann is watching them, throwing her head back, laughing in satisfaction and delight. I am wondering if she is influencing them physically with who-knows-what-all ingredients in all the food she makes for them … but I feel she is also supernaturally influencing them, filling them up with her own dark energy and feeding off of their emotional response.

Back in Dallas, the tension mounts as we see someone exit a vehicle and walk slowly to the house…

Cut to Lorena, entering the house in a flaming scarlet evening gown … she searches the room and finds Sookie … heading straight for her. They exchange a couple of pleasantries in introduction, but Lorena’s “claws” don’t take too long to emerge! She tells Sookie, “You’re what all the fuss is about.” Sookie looks a bit confused and says, “Excuse me?!” Lorena looks her over and says, “Aren’t you a morsel?” Sookie then says, “I’m sorry…who are you?” Lorena says, “We have a mutual friend.” The smile has left Sookie’s face by now and she gives Lorena a hard look, saying, “Bill?” Lorena smiles like the cat that ate the canary and tells her in a sickeningly sweet voice, “That’s right. Funny he never mentioned me. I practically made him what he is today..” Suddenly, Bill rushes into the room and Lorena says, ” Oh hello darling … I was just getting to know your plaything …” (Meowwwww!) Sookie looks at him and says, “Bill? Is this your maker?” He tells her that Lorena released him years ago and no longer has any hold over him. Lorena then sinks the claws in a little deeper and says, “Oh I wouldn’t say that…we had two marvelous nights together in your hotel room.” OUCH! She then tells Sookie that Bill hit her over the head with a plasma television earlier that night … adding some ridiculously ironic remarks about there being no excuse for “domestic violence.” [Editor's note: I think Lorena made a mistake admitting that Bill fought her, up till then, Sookie was worried] Bill tells Sookie what Lorena has failed to mention is that she was holding him prisoner. Lorena says, “Pshaw! We were just catching up is all…you must’ve been worried sick, wondering where he was” in a voice guaranteed to make any woman want to scratch her eyes right outta her head! She then tells Sookie, “I admit, it got a bit.. heated. But you know how old lovers can get sometimes…” and reaches out to touch Bill’s face. Sookie has had more than enough of this crap by now and grabs Lorena’s arm, getting right in her face, telling her, “Do not touch him.” Even Stan looks impressed! Lorena says, “My. We’re feisty too.” She then laughs in Sookie’s face, telling her she is no more than a “blood bag” and that she cannot win this. Sookie stands right up to her, telling her, “I’ve already won. Bill chose me…and yet, you still won’t give up. Don’t you have any shame?” This is beginning to freak Bill out just a bit and he begs Sookie to stop… Lorena says, “I’d listen to him …” and gives her a dismissive wave, telling Sookie, “Run away, little girl” as she walks toward Bill and then says, “William and I love each other…” Bill grabs Lorena and tells her she has gone mad … Sookie rushes toward Lorena and tells her, “Maybe you do love him, who am I to guess? But he doesn’t love you. He never has… and that, we both know!” Lorena’s fangs come out and she demands that Sookie takes back her words, or they will be her last… Bill separates the two of them, and Sookie is seriously pissed off now, telling Lorena, ” Go find someone else, you effing bitch! You’ve lost this one!” Lorena throws Bill aside and is about to sink her fangs into Sookie’s neck when suddenly, a fist grabs Lorena around the neck and it is Godric, telling her, “Retract your fangs. Now.” Godric tells her, “I neither know, nor care who you are…but in this area and certainly in this nest, I am the authority. Do you understand?” Lorena tells him, “Yes, Sheriff.” Godric releases her and turns to look at Sookie, telling everyone that “this human has proven herself to be a courageous and loyal friend to our kind…” and then turns to Lorena, telling her, “… and yet you treat her like a child does a dragonfly, pulling off wings for sport?? No wonder they hate us.” Lorena is controlling her vicious temper with visible effort, telling Godric through clenched teeth, “She provoked me.” He looks her right in the eye and says, “..and you provoke me. You disrupted the peace in my own home. I could snap you like a twig … and I haven’t . Now why is that?” Lorena concedes, saying, “It’s your choice.” Godric agrees, “Indeed it is,” shaking his head. He tells her that he can tell she is an old vampire and has had hundreds of years to better herself and yet she hasn’t. He tells her, “You’re still a savage…and I fear for all of us, humans and vampires, if this behavior persists…” He tells Bill to escort her from the nest and tells Lorena to leave his area by dawn.

Lorena and Bill walk out of the house and she is crying tears of blood, saying that she has no idea how things have gotten this way. She tells him, “I can’t help it that I still love you…you know I do!! But now, it’s become nothing but a constant humiliation” Bill tells her that the pain she suffers she has inflicted upon herself. She asks him when they will see eachother again and he insists, “Never.” She tells him that they are immortal and their paths are bound to cross eventually… Something tells me that Bill should watch his back…forever.

Inside the house, we see that the Luke-inator has come calling upon the vampires of Dallas. Jason tries to talk to him and he shakes him off… He calls out into the room, “Excuse me everyone! If I could have your attention…My name is Luke MacDonald and I am a member of the Fellowship of the Sun… and I have a message for you all..from Reverend Steve Newlin” as he unzips his jacket to reveal that he is strapped with a bomb, laden with silver bullets and wood and silver chains…

Up next!

Bill is outside of the house in Dallas when an explosion blasts out of the windows…

Maryann wants to know how much they have had to drink this time…and Tara tells her that she has never been this out of control. Maryann tells Tara and Eggs that “We need to be out of control. We crave it…”

Sam yells at Bud that he has no right to keep him locked up in jail…

Tara is drinking shots while Lafayette wonders, “What’s wrong with you Tara? Is you even in there..??”

Nan Flanagan is meeting with the vampires in Dallas, telling them, “this is a disaster. We should drain every one of you…”

Lorena, alone in a throne-like chair, looking a little too happy about something…

Sam still in jail…and is that Maryann, at the jail?!

Bill is sinking his fangs into someone…

Lafayette and Eggs fighting over Tara?

Jessica and Hoyt…and is that Jessica with her fangs out, looking seriously angry?

Tara hauls off and slaps Lettie Mae!

Maryann, walking into Merlotte’s telling everyone that the god demands his sacrifice and where is Sam Merlotte???

YIKES!!!!

Hold onto your butts, the True Blood rollercoaster ride which has already provided non-stop thrills and chills galore is about to get even crazier!!!

(Photo credits: HBO)

(Digital Imaging: S.Easterly / Captures: J.Chin)

Talkin’ True Blood with Rusty Lipscomb: Time Bomb

What’s up with Luke?  Suicide bomber?  I must admit I did not see that coming!  I thought he was too self involved…. but he turned out to be a true believer, unfortunately being manipulated by the egocentric, charismatic, vampire hating, Rev. Steve. What a shame to destroy Godric’s beautiful home!  An explosion like this necessitates the set to be built on stage and what a great look the art department and construction achieved.  As for the set decoration, every piece of furniture, accessory, art, lighting, and rugs, needed to be purchased!  I really hurts! to know that an interior so well put together will end up a mess of char, soot, and debris.

Each piece of furniture, purchased new for Godric’s home, each contemporary painting custom made, all the cool accessories selected, were destroyed or ended up in a debris pile.  Did you notice the dining room chandelier, the great sparking, twisting, glass, sea urchin design that glowed and sparkled was dripping vampire remains? Yuk! ….and what a shame to see it go!

To make it even more painful, the set dressing department and the construction crew usually work along side the special effects crew to achieve the after-the-bomb mess.  Ouch! debris on the couches, gunk on the rugs, but it is actually more cost effective to destroy what is purchased than to manufacture it for that purpose in this case.  Godric’s living room was in multiple episodes and that is the reason why.

One question remains in my mind….how did Isabel manage to stay completely perfect after the explosion????? Where was she? [Editor's Note: I think, like my mother, she had so much hair spray on that 'do that it was impervious and perhaps protective!] And evil Eric getting his way with Sookie sucking his blood….but for us it was a good thing.  If she had not, we would not have seem him naked in bed with her and I know that we have been waiting much too long for that!….the Eric part!

Maryann is still vibrating, Lorena is on a mission, Hoyt and Jessica are still cute, Maxine is a bad mom, Lettie Mae is a good mom, Sookie and Jason renewed their familial bond, Eric is sad, we said good-bye to Godric and I remain a fan!”

We loved her insider view so much that we had to ask her a few follow up questions!

TBN.com: Do you usually know if a place is to be destroyed when you create the setting?

Rusty: Yes. That is a very important factor in both the building of the set and the decorating even more so.  We do a lot of rentals for TV, it helps with the usually tight budgets.  You really can’t destroy rentals and it would be near impossible to match the rentals when it is time to destroy the set.

TBN.com: If you know, do you tend to buy cheaper?

Rusty: Of course you would do that… if it was possible.  The camera does not see subtle differences between the $$$$$ fabric and the $$ affordable one.  It is all about style, about putting things together, about good design and color.  I had the pleasure to spend many years working series TV, whether multi camera sitcoms or single camera series.  There is never enough money to be able to buy everything that is your first choice.  Set decorators, as was my craft, have to learn where to shop for things that look really good because of their style potential.  We make a career of shopping on a budget, learning where cool accessories can be found…..the pillows, drapery, lighting, plants, make a hugh difference. It is important to put your money where it will show.

TBN.com: Things that are a bit shabbier?

Rusty: It is possible to buy mark-downs because of a scratch or ding but you need time to do this.  Suzuki Ingerslev, production designer and my long time collaborator, designed a brilliant set for SHARK, a series we did together in 2006.  She asked for an upscale stainless refrigerator to be built into the kitchen.  All I could see were $$$$$! She sent me to an appliance store in Northridge that sold new appliances that had dings or dents. I found one that was damaged, but not on the front which is all that we saw and was 1/2 price. Film is the perfect venue for things that are not perfect.  We can repair or cover almost anything.

TBN.com: Less likely to buy something you absolutely love?

Rusty: I think that this is where you decide to spend your money.  Something that you love and will make a difference is worth the bucks.

TBN.com: If you’ve had to destroy a long time set have you ever ‘rescued’ something fundamental to the show or sentimental to an actor or crew member?

Rusty: I would hope so and it is possible that it was done in Godric’s.  You could either replace the object or make sure that the placement of the object is such that debris could be so heavy it would not be missed.  It is a shame to destroy some special no matter who is attached to it!

TBN.com: Has it ever worked the other way around where you decided it was time to redo a set and the writers decided why not blow it up?

Rusty: It has not happened to me, but I know other decorators who have had to redo a main set.  It is not just explosions, it is cheaper to just put a line in the script about redecorating.

Thanks for the great insights Rusty into the behind the scenes workings of True Blood and other TV shows.  No wonder we can so strongly feel the loss of Godric’s home.. the set dressers and construction crew imbue the scene with their own feelings as they destroy their own creations.  Designing a set to be blown to smithereens would be like building large, complicated sand castles only to watch them be washed away by the tide.

(Photo credit: HBO)

True Blood Season 2: Episode 9 – “I Will Rise Up”

After a suicide bomber obliterates the Vampire party, Eric takes advantage of Sookie’s kindness and sucks her into his web of deception. After Sookie swallows some of Eric’s blood, she starts to see him in a new, sexier light. In a dreamscape, Eric shows that he does have a softer side.

Sookie and Jason reflect on the past, covering old wounds that seem finally able to heal. Jason admits that he still has not dealt with their grandmothers death and after realizing that the siblings are the only surviving members of the Stackhouse family, resolves to do things right from here on in.

Lafayette and Lettie Mae storm Sookie’s house in an attempt to save Tara from Maryann’s influence. The move was spawned from an earlier visit to Merlotte’s where Lafayette attributes his cousins facial bruises to Egg’s hand. Tara is carted away from Sookies house while putting up possessed resistance

Hoyt introduces his mother to Jessica in a dinner meeting that ends up in bloodied tears due to the harsh words of Maxine. Bon Temps jail is filled to capacity with people who have been picked up due to misdemeanors and upon learning that Sam has flown the coop Maryann lets every last reprimanded person free.

In Dallas, Eric and Godric deal with the PR backlash of the bombing and recent events with Nan Flanagan. Godric chooses to take the fall and step down as Sheriff, and decides to meet the sun as Sookie stays by his side as a favor to Eric.

Top 5 of I Will Rise Up

1. NO ORGY SCENES! Thank GOD! NUMBER ONE REASON THIS EP ROCKED.
2. Eric in Sookie’s dream state, there seemed to be a little bit of chemistry between those two characters. As Bill fades into a shadow of what he used to be in season one, maybe this would spice things up.
3. Bill explaining that since Sookie has some of Eric’s blood in her, then she would experience a sexual attraction to him. Is this why she is attracted to Bill?
4. Godric’s parting scene. Some amazing dynamics between Godric and Eric helped make the whole scene work well. Each episode we are shown some top dramatic performances.
5. Tara being taken from Sookie’s house. This makes me interested in finding out what is going to happen when Sookie returns to her house being taken over by Maryann. I would say that due to us having three more episodes to go- this leaves room for it to get U.G.L.Y.

Make sure you tell us your top 5’s in the feedback below!

[Editor's Note: Or.. if you're the editor you get to sneak them in here!]

1. NO ORGY SCENES! Thank GODRIC! NUMBER ONE REASON THIS EP ROCKED. WORD DUDE!
2. No Maso/Sadi/Anarchy Sex at all.  I don’t mean to sound like a prude but man that was such an awful scene between Tara and Eggs last week!
3. Hoyt tellin’ his mama off.  He’s a grown assed man, Maxine! It was a long.. time comin’.. someone cue Sam Cooke!  The casting department of this show just rocks, every time attention turns to someone who was a minor character last season they rise to the occasion.  Jim Parrack is rockin my world this season.  Warm, sensitive and strong. (Do I need to even say how much I love Jessica???)
4. Lafayette and Lettie Mae staging an intervention.  You go, girlfriends!  I swear Lafayette has more courage than can fit into one human body, even one as sexy as his.  He KNOWS true horror but he still ‘mans up’ every single time (and I use that phrase “mans up” in a totally omnisexual sense.)
5. Everything Eric this episode, Alexander did a superb job. He looked like he was faking when he was supposed to without looking campy, he looked sexy in bed (even if he is too darn tall ), he looked like his heart was ripped out when Godric went to meet the sun.   I’m sure the Eric/Sookie Shippers are happy.  Although I didn’t have the same take as Dan, I thought that Sookie imagined Eric having a softer side not that he actually DOES have one.  Although it’s not technically one scene, kudos to Mr. Skarsgard.

Special all time favorite top five scene: Godric meeting the sun.  It was simple, it was elegant, it was horrible and beautiful and somehow just perfect.  I loved Godric but it was the right decision to let him meet the sun.  How long could such pathos go on without wearing thin?  Kudos to the FX guys, the lighting department, the camera men, the location scouts, the film editors, the writers, the director, the casting department, the actors and most of all Alan Ball for making the right call.  It’s right up there second only to the pie scene for tear jerker and 3rd favorite overall (Sookie’s run through the cemetery to Bill is my all time favorite scene!).

Scene that peeved me this week:  Each week there seems to be one scene that gets under my skin.  Sometimes, it’s unnecessary explicitness, sometimes it’s a small plot hole, this week it was Sookie sucking the silver, and blood, out of Eric’s chest.  I understand they needed a plot device to connect Sookie to Eric to test the bond between Sookie and Bill.  The problem I have is that I HATE it when women are written as dumb as an ox, sister to Jason or not, blond or not. Seriously, not only should you be suspicious that Eric is faking when Bill walks away and leaves him there, and when Godric isn’t hovering over him to be sure he’s OK, but was anyone else sucking the silver out of other vampires anywhere in the room?  Many of them had their humans there.. yet you’re the only one SUCKING the silver out?  Why wouldn’t you just dig it out with your finger?  I mean, come on..!  Has that ‘a snake bit my penis and I’m going to die if you don’t suck the poison out’ line ever worked in the history of humans, of primates? Not EVEN if you see the dead snake laying in the room.

And the worst part is, it wasn’t necessary to make Sookie this incredibly stupid.  She could have quite simply gotten some of his blood in her mouth as he protected her from flying silver during the explosion.  Or maybe have Eric even ‘wipe her mouth’ while she’s still stunned with a bloody hand if you want him to be a devious rat.  It makes it very hard for me to care what happens to Sookie when she’s this stupid.  Just like I have found it hard to care what happens to Jason half the time.

Despite that rant, I have to say this was my second favorite episode this season for all the other reasons listed.  I dreaded the episode ending and it went for too fast and was too darn short!  And now I’m torn between, “Is it Sunday yet?” and OMGodric it’s almost the end of the season!

I now return control of the horizontal and the vertical, sorry for the rant.  Awaiting your comments below!

(Photo credit: HBO)

True Blood “Release me”… True Blood casts a Bewitching Spell and we are Hopelessly Enchanted!!

Out of the darkness and into the Light of Truth… we are beginning to see the bigger picture and last week’s relentless trip into darkness has actually brought us into a deeper understanding of the nature of so many of the characters in True Blood…and there may yet be Light at the end of a very long tunnel into madness and evil. Hope Springs Eternal! I continue to be fascinated and addicted, frightened and enlightened, dashed to the depths of despair only to ascend into the dizzying heights of all that is Possible… and I wait breathlessly for clarity and understanding as each episode unfolds. A week is really much too long to wait when there are so many questions unanswered and so many lives hanging in the balance. The genius of this kind of storytelling is that it reaches inside of us and takes hold of us, touching our hearts, beckoning us to stop and consider the emotional landscape in which these characters dwell. In so many ways, their journey is our journey… the endless search to understand one another, fighting to break free from the burning chains which bind us to intolerance, hatred and fear. The quest to seek out and cherish the good inside of our hearts and to celebrate all that we share, remembering that what connects us is so much more important than anything that makes us different. This is what the best kind of storytelling is all about: opening our hearts and minds to learning more about one another and the important truths we can learn from each other… teaching us about who we really are and who we long to be … deep down, underneath all of the masks we wear.

We can *feel* Bill’s desperation to hold on to Sookie (Anna Paquin)… and to the miracles of love and redemption she represents in his life. His determination to claim his power to choose or finally die trying is a testament to all that is Good inside of Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer)…and we cheer him on as he is finally liberated from Lorena (Mariana Klaveno). Which, of course, only makes it that much more heinous when she returns to his life and threatens all that he has struggled to build. He is a tragic hero in so many ways…and his struggles and flaws seem very, very human indeed.

Stephen Moyer is a revelation as Bill … for someone to portray the deepest evil in Bill’s past and the most poignant and tender moments of Light and Love in his present takes an actor of uncommon grace and artistry. Someone fearless, who can stretch themselves and fully give themselves to bring a character as textured and layered as Bill Compton to *Life* deserves every accolade this world can offer. Bravo, Stephen! You absolutely blow my mind.

In the True Blood Universe, Temptation is Everywhere: and the struggle for power and control is evident in the seemingly polar opposites of Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) and Maryann Forrester (Michelle Forbes). They are both convinced that they have the right to impose their will upon others … convincing them to join with them or face the consequences. There is something very similar in the way that they seduce and beguile the weak and the broken into thinking that there is only one way to live… by their rules, with no exception. While Maryann is admittedly much more powerful, Steve Newlin is just as disturbing in his own particular madness … and perhaps even more distressing in that it is all dressed up as something pure and righteous. Most of the vampires tend to feel superior to all other beings and seem to regard feelings and emotion as signs of weakness … and yet, the most touching moments of all are the moments in which the vampires discover that they have feelings too, whether they want to or not. Nearly every group has shown signs of elitist behavior: do it our way or hit the highway. This is especially true of the human beings who are threatened by anything supernatural, anything beyond what they have seen and known in their lives. There is just so much that feels familiar… in the best and worst of ways. As Sam (SamTrammell) begins to find his courage and stands up to fight for his life, we feel every moment of his torment and we cheer him on, wanting him to find his way OUT of Maryann’s evil clutches. There is so much to cheer for, so much to hope for and so much to make us laugh and cry and wonder and learn.

The episode begins with Andy (Chris Bauer)  facedown in the muddy grass, yelling “Pig!!” at the top of his lungs.

We then see Sam, being held facedown by Eggs (Mehcad Brooks) on some sort of sacrificial stone altar…with Tara (Rutina Wesley) staring into his face with those crazy black eyes, telling him to “just give in, it feels so good” as she licks his face and grins like a madwoman. Poor Sam wonders what on earth Maryann has done to Tara, as Maryann begins to approach Sam, having fully morphed into the beastwoman with three wicked looking claws. Just in time, Andy has made his way into the clearing, and seeing the mayhem, he fires his gun into the air to distract the bloodthirsty mob. Suddenly, Sam breaks free and when Daphne (Ashley Jones) tries to restrain him, he punches her lights OUT! I have never been so glad to see someone get what is coming to them in all my life! Eggs begins to scream and this sets off the entire crowd…it seems that whatever emotion they are feeling is amped up by Maryann and her “whammy”. Sam runs for his life with Maryann chasing after him, and we can hear her as she calls out, “Come here, Sam…come here, boy…”, as if she is calling a dog, which, after all, he sometimes is…and suddenly, Sam sees an owl in the trees and shapeshifts into an owl, flying away from Maryann. Yaayyy Sammy!!!  She leans over and picks up Sam’s discarded shirt with her three claws (ick!) and pulls off the bulls-head mask, looking after Sam in frustration that he got away from her once again.

Back in the clearing, Andy points his gun at the mob, telling everyone not to move…as they all shuffle off, completely ignoring him, in a daze. He sees his cousin Terry and tries to talk to him, Terry turns and looks at Andy with those black eyes and knocks Andy to the ground and breaks his arm with a sickening crack. He and Arlene begin to laugh hysterically and wander off, leaving Andy moaning on the ground…

Meanwhile, in the basement of the FotS (Fellowship of the Sun)”church”, Sookie yells for Godric (Allan Hyde), telling him that Isabel (Valerie Cruz) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) sent them, knowing that Godric would be able to hear her with his enhanced “vampire hearing”. Hugo (Christopher Gartin) begins to panic, claiming that his claustrophobia is a very real thing… while Sookie is distracted by the “fun” board games (stacked up in the storage area where they are imprisoned) with titles like Silver and Stakes, Send ‘Em Back to Hell, etc…lamenting how sick it is to teach kids to hate like that. She tells Hugo that there has to be a traitor in the Dallas nest since the FotS knew they were coming ahead of time and tried to snatch her at the airport as well. Hugo tries to shift the blame to Stan (Ed Quinn)… and Sookie comments that Bill had to have felt her fear. She seems to feel conflicted about wanting Bill to come and save her and yet, fearing for him since there is no limit to what this demented group will do to vampires… especially since they plan to BBQ a 2000 year old vampire in front of an entire congregation.

Back in Bill’s room, Lorena is still preventing Bill from leaving as he screams in frustration for her to get out of his way. She taunts him, “You smell like her… sweet … and cheap”. She throws him across the room, telling him, “William Compton, you are still so sensitive… some might say that is a weakness… but I’ve always found it …oddly… cute.” He throws her off of him, asking her what she is doing there… she tells him she has missed him and that it has been so long…

Flashback to Los Angeles 1935…Bill is sitting reading “Gods and Monsters of Ancient Greece”, when Lorena comes in with a “present” for him…Frances from the chorus of the “desperately cheerful” musical she just saw. Frances begins to dance down the stairs to the music on the stereo, which Bill turns off immediately… and Lorena tells her, “Don’t mind him, he’s in one of his moods…again.” She tells Frances, “I am sure we can find a way to cheer him up…”  He tells Lorena, “I meant what I said…No more…” She tells him he can’t starve himself…and Bill seems to be about to bite Frances in the neck when he firmly gives her shoulders a shake and tells her to “Leave. Now.”

He tells Lorena that he can’t stand the sight of her…and she tells him that he is so dramatic and is just depressed… He tells her, “I am not depressed. I am seeing clearly for the first time in years. I won’t do this any longer. It’s over.” He is emphatic, “No more innocent lives. No more bloody baths. No more cruelty for sport.”  She seems appalled and tells him, “You are vampire, they are food. That’s your nature.” He tells her, “No. That is your nature. You have lost your humanity and you have stolen mine. You have made me into a monster and I will have to live with the things we’ve done for eternity”. Lorena seems to grasp how serious he is, and she tries to appeal to him, telling him that “this conscience of yours, you will outgrow it …” He tells her in no uncertain terms that “I will never again be what you want me to be.”

Flash forward to Lorena and Bill at the Hotel Carmilla…Bill is telling her, “If Sookie is hurt in any way because of you, I will not stop until I drive a stake through whatever semblance of a heart you have left.” Lorena just looks at him with disgusted amusement … and says, “Its true…you’re in love…with a human. It’s so tragic, it’s funny…” and she laughs and laughs like a complete psycho. Which, of course, she IS.

Eric and Isabel, meanwhile, are keeping watch outside the FotS church, while Sookie and Hugo remain inside…Eric is incredulous, telling her she has to be joking if this is their “army”…”scared little boys with Bibles and crossbows.” Isabel tells Eric he should not underestimate them, that support for their movement is growing, with leadership camps overflowing with self-righteous extremists all willing and ready to die for their cause. Eric tells her that “could be arranged quite easily” but Isabel warns him that they need to be sure the Fellowship has Godric before making a move. Eric asks Isabel, “What about your boy, Hugo?… and Sookie? They’ve been in there too long.” Isabel tells him that if Hugo were in danger, she would know it … that she felt something earlier, but it passed and he is “okay now.”  Hmmm. That is very intriguing given that Isabel and Hugo are lovers and she should be able to feel his panic… if his panic was the real deal!  I think she is completely clueless about Hugo’s true agenda. Poor Hugo had better run for the hills when she finds out!

Eric then says, “Tell me… what is it you find so fulfilling about human companionship?” She tells him, “They feel much more strongly than we do. Everything is Urgent. Exciting. Maybe because their lives are so temporary.”  “Yes.” Eric says, “they certainly don’t keep well.” Isabel tells him that she finds the prospect of Hugo becoming old and infirm, “Curious, like a science project.” (Gee, I wonder how Hugo would feel about taking a spin on a hamster wheel??) Isabel then wonders, “How does Bill Compton feel about your interest in Sookie?” With the merest suggestion of a raised eyebrow to indicate otherwise, he tells her, “I am not interested in Sookie and even less in how Bill Compton feels. My only interest is finding Godric”  while staring straight ahead with no expression on his face. Isabel smirks a bit deviously and turns to look at him, saying, “Of course.” Eric, still staring ahead, says, “Don’t look at me like that.”  Hmm. Methinks that Eric doth protesteth too much.

Sarah(Anna Camp)  and Jason (Ryan Kwanten) are cuddling in the balcony of the church, with Sarah crying “tears of joy” after making love with Jason. (Excuse me while I gag…) She tells him that they will have to tell Steve right away due to the “vow of honesty”… Jason looks at her like she has just started speaking Swahili to him! He reminds her about the upcoming lock-in and the “vampire bbq” and she tells him that they need to put God first (one of the more ironic statements I have ever heard!) … but they do have to tell Steve as soon as possible. I think it is possible that Jason Stackhouse may have discovered the one woman in the world he will Really Regret having slept with … and he looks like he is ready to jump right out of his skin. Sarah Newlin is one massive tidalwave of trouble and he just dove right in, thinking the water is fine…but really, it is infested with piranhas.

Back in Jessica’s room at the Hotel Carmilla (interestingly… right next door to Bill’s room where he is having a smackdown with Lorena …why doesn’t Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) “hear” this???) … she and Hoyt (Jim Parrack) are snuggling and he confesses that he, “ain’t never done IT”. She asks him, “You’re a virgin?” and when she finds out he is, she tells him, “Well, big whoop, so am I”. They share some very sweet pillow talk and Hoyt tells her that he “…waited for the right one. The right one never showed up…” Then he told her that he had waited so long, he didn’t want to give it away to just anyone. She tells him, “if it’s okay, I’ll be your first.” She discovers that it is very close to dawn, so they will have to wait a while longer… but, she wants to cuddle… and tells him not to freak out if she looks a little… dead. Too Cute!! These two never fail to put a huge grin on my face…

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Hotel Carmilla, Stan, Isabel and Eric are walking down the corridor to Eric’s room. Stan wonders if “the little rats have run off and joined the Fellowship”…and Isabel angrily tells him, “Careful, Hugo is mine”. “Oh Please,” says Stan, “if you cared so much about him you’d have been in that church hours ago.” They continue squabbling and finally, Stan turns his anger onto Eric, telling him, ” The Fellowship has your maker and your telepath. And still, you do nothing.” Eric has finally had enough, and slams Stan up against the wall, barely controlling himself as he says, “Are you questioning my loyalty, Stan?” Stan looks a bit taken aback and tells Eric he is just trying to return Godric to his rightful position. Eric tells him he thinks Stan has another agenda… “Maybe you think starting a war with the Fellowship will distract us from the truth…that you’re so starved for power you murdered Godric for his title.” Stan tells him that is a lie and Isabel worriedly steps between them, telling Eric, “We don’t know this. There’s no proof.” Eric looks as though he would love to rip Stan’s throat out, telling him that there is no proof, yet … “But I will find it. And when I do, there will be No Mercy.” Eric looks visibly shaken, telling them that “they can run into that church and kill them all, I no longer care”. He turns away from them, saying, “If Godric is gone, nothing will bring back what I have lost”…shedding a single blood red tear as he leaves them in the corridor, entering his room. This one moment reveals his tremendous grief and the anguish and anxiety he has struggled to keep so tightly controlled … as well as his deep fear that Godric has been lost to him forever, reminding us of the depth of his love and loyalty to Godric. This tells us so much about Eric… he has so many layers of personality we have yet to perceive… and Alexander is bringing Eric to life before our eyes, showing us that there is so much that we really do not know about Eric. Although I would love to see the more sensual side of Eric (and yes, this is the understatement of the millennia) as well as his delicious sense of humour (both of which have been glimpsed occasionally over the last season and a half) I remain *intrigued and more than a little curious* (to use two of Eric’s favorite words!) to learn more about who Eric is and what is important to him. I am looking forward to seeing what the True Blood writers have in store for us as they develop this fascinating character.

Meanwhile, over at Sookie’s house, Tara and Eggs awaken on the couch, unsure of how they got there or what happened to them after they, “followed those Reese’s Pieces clothes into the woods”. Eggs thinks that they were just knocked out cold by Maryann’s “weed”…but Tara is not convinced, saying that has never happened to her from smoking one joint. She seems pretty unnerved by the whole thing … and seems to finally be putting some things together when she asks Eggs about the weird place he took her to… with the blood … telling him he couldn’t remember how he got there… and he tells her he has no idea what that was all about, but is pretty sure one thing has nothing to do with the other. (Say What??!!) Tara tells him that they maybe need to sober up… and when he tells her, “Just because you got a little too stoned, it don’t make you your mama”, she wonders if he is reading her mind, like Sookie. (Hey! I thought that was a secret, Tara!!)  He tells her that he just “gets her”. Hmmm. Tara…please pull your head out of the sand and wake UP, sister!!!

Back at Merlotte’s, Sam rushes in, pulling on a t-shirt and pulls a big ole gun out of it’s hiding place in the fireplace. Whoa, Sammy is BACK!!!!

Sookie and Hugo, meanwhile, are still locked up in the FotS basement…Steve strolls in, with a cheery smile on his face, saying, “Mornin’! Refreshments? How’d ya’ll sleep?” Let me just say that this guy is the craziest nutjob you have ever seen. What a lunatic! Sookie warns him that they (the vampires) are coming for us … and Steve tells her, “Well, that’s what I thought … I figured a pretty girl like you would have a vamp running off to your rescue. Actually, we were counting on that … weren’t we, Gabe?” Yes sir, says his faithful henchman, Gabe. Sookie tells him that they are going to get themselves killed … and that’s not a threat, that’s a fact. Steve tells her that the vamps have her all twisted … and she says that he is the one who is twisted… telling him, “You call yourself Christians? Jesus would be ashamed of you”. He laughs in her face, telling her they will have to agree to disagree on that one. He tells her that things got a little outta hand last night and he apologizes for it. (Hmmm, ya think??!! Dragging a young woman down a flight of stairs is “a little outta hand”??!!) He tells them all he wants are a few answers and he will, “feed them a hot breakfast and send them on their way”. (Is it just me, or is Steve Newlin more than just a few fries short of a Happy Meal??) Hugo just starts babbling away, telling them “her name is Sookie Stackhouse“…while Sookie looks at him like he has just grown another head. Steve looks equally stunned… asking her if she is from Bon Temps… telling her, “You’re Jason Stackhouse’s sister… am I right?” When she asks him how he knows her brother…Steve seems to barely be controlling his fury and summons Gabe to leave with him…

Sookie looks at Hugo in disgust and tells him, “Nice work”. Hugo tells her that they sat there all night waiting for her boyfriend to show up and he is going to get them out of there…she finally just tells him to shut the eff up!! Glad to see feisty Sookie!!

Sookie reaches out with her mind, calling on Barry (Chris Coy) the telepath for help… She tells him she needs him to go to the hotel, find Bill Compton, tell him she is in the basement of the FotS church, that the sheriff is there somewhere and she is in big trouble…

Back in Bill’s room, both Bill and Lorena are sluggish and showing the effects of remaining awake during daylight. Bill is too afraid for Sookie to sleep, Lorena won’t sleep so she can keep Bill from going to Sookie. He begs her… we need to rest. Lorena tells him she cares too much about him to let him run out into the sunlight to save Sookie… he tells her that he loves Sookie, but he is not suicidal. She reminds him that she knows exactly what he is capable of (and so do we, remembering last season…) They both begin to bleed (and we learn this is an unfortunate side effect of a vampire remaining awake during daylight hours …) and Bill struggles to reach the phone, but Lorena grabs it from him, wanting to know who he is trying to call. He begs her to let him call Eric Northman and wake him, since he is the reason that Sookie is in danger. She laughs cruelly, telling him that Eric is also the reason she is there… as she smashes the phone to smithereens. She tells him, “He wants the girl, William. Just let him have her.” Bill gasps in anguish at her words.

Meanwhile, back at the L.O.D.I. (Light of Day Institute) camp, Jason is taking a little stroll, with all of his suitcases… trying to get the hell out of Dodge, so to speak… when Steve and Gabe pull up and insist on Jason getting into the car with them, at knifepoint…

Over at the sheriff’s office, Andy is telling his story to Bud (William Sanderson) …(who looks more than a little crazed with that big cigar hanging outta his mouth…) He tells Bud about the bulls-head mask and these giant claws…and that the whole town had these big black saucer eyes like zombies… Bud just looks incredulous and gives a few noncommittal grunts…

At Sookie’s, Tara and Eggs are still lounging on the couch, watching the tube… when in walks Maryann, with her legs covered in blood, carrying a freshly killed rabbit which is also dripping blood…”Good Morning”, she says cheerily…Tara worriedly wonders if she is okay… and she tells them that she is “fantastic!”… and that she slept outside last night and communed with her animal nature. (That is the understatement of the universe!) They banter back and forth a bit, and Tara asks her if she threw a party, since the house looked like a “frathouse”. Maryann says she just had a few people over for drinks (Is that what you call it??!!) and wonders if that is a problem. Tara worries that Sookie could be coming home anytime since it is her house… Maryann reassures Tara that she is such a good friend and took great care of Sookie’s place while she was gone… then she wanders off, calling for “K-K-K-Karl.” Tara just looks at Eggs and says that Maryann is “so effing weird”… to which he replies, “Yeah, ain’t it great?” Tara!!! The inmates have taken over the asylum …otherwise known as Sookie’s house… and you need to figure things out Pronto!!

Steve, meanwhile, is reading Jason the riot act … as he is held at knifepoint by Gabe… telling Jason that he is burned that he took him into his home, treated him like family… to which Jason replies, “I’m so sorry, I’m weak” (thinking perhaps that Steve knows about him and Sarah??) Steve tells him that he gave Jason a chance at salvation “… and you chose …Them??” Jason keeps apologizing and finally it dawns on him and he says, “Wait a minute… who are Them?” Steve tells him to cut the act, he knows who Jason is and who he is working for. Jason just looks completely clueless and says, “The roadcrew?” This only further enrages Steve, who tells Jason, “I never thought you were the sharpest tool in the shed … good at taking orders, but not too bright … but boy was I wrong! You are snakier than a snake in the grass.” Jason tries to appeal to him, telling him he has made a mistake or has confused Jason with someone else … Steve just shuts his eyes, and ominously tells Jason, “Say a Prayer. You are going to hell. And you are going there today.” Steve tells Gabe, “Take care of him.” Gabe says, “Yes sir” and tells Jason, “Start walking, vampire lover”.

Cut to Daphne, sitting on the end of the dock (the very same dock where she and Samfirst took their midnight swim, I believe…) and says, “Hello, Sam” when she hears him walking up behind her. He tells her he’s been looking for her and she says, “I figured you would be”…and turns around to see Sam pointing a big gun right at her! With a huff, she says, “What’s that for?” Sam tells her, “Come any closer and you’ll find out”. She tells him she isn’t scared to die… and he tells her he knows she is scared of Maryann. He wonders about the scars on Daphne’s back… asking her, “Is that how she got you to be her whore?” She tells him it isn’t whoring if you do it for love… and when Sam mistakenly thinks she is referring to him, she tells him, “Honey, I ain’t talking about you… We had fun… but …” to which Sam (rightfully!!) screams at her, “we had fun? I effing trusted you!! I shared parts of myself I never shared with anyone!! How can you do this to your own kind??”. Daphne looks at Sam in disgust, telling him that she was once just like him: scared, stupid and full of shame. She tells him that Maryann could have killed her… and she deserved it …”but she saw something in me… she saved me, gave me a whole new life… no fear, no limits, just love.” Samtells her that killing people and cutting out their hearts isn’t love. Daphne tells him that he is a mere flea next to Maryann… Sam wonders if he is so insignificant, why is Maryann going to all this trouble to get him?? Daphne tells him that he got away from Maryann once and she can’t control him… and she just loves a challenge. She tells Sam, “Ya know all those funny big black eyes folks are running around with acting all crazy? That’s Maryann’s energy inside of them”…Sam wonders if it doesn’t work on him and Daphne because they are shifters…and Daphne tells him that all supernatural’s have a natural resistance, even though Maryann can force their shifts … she can’t get inside of them. They have to go to Maryann of their own free will. Suddenly, Daphne starts stripping off her clothes, telling Sam she is “sweating like a pig” (ha ha ha) and asks him if he “wants to get wet with her one last time?” Sam just looks at her in disgust, yelling, “What is she? What the eff is she??!!” Daphne says, “She’s god”…

Over in the basement of the FotS, Hugo is now beginning to seriously freak out … Sookie tries to calm him down and reaches out to grab his arm … and she “sees” into Hugo’s mind… sees him kneeling and praying with Steve and Sarah in the church, spying on her at Stan’s, reporting to Steve that the vamps are “sending in a spy tomorrow, and I’ll be with her.” Sookie looks him straight in the face and says, “You! You’re the traitor!!”

Back at the dock, Sam tells Daphne that Maryann is NOT god. Daphne replies, “She’s as close to god as we’ll ever get. People call her all kinds of things … Kali, Lilith, Isis, Gaia … but what she really is, is a Maenad. According to the Greeks, Maenad’s were the handmaidens of Dionysus… but she is really a lot more than that.” Sam wonders if she means Dionysus, the god of wine? She tells him it makes sense that he knows “that one” since he owns a bar… and then says, “Guess what else they called him? The horned god. Sound familiar?” Sam says, “Satan?” Daphne says, “Satan, Dionysus… really it’s just a kind of wild energy like lust, anger, excess… basically all the fun stuff… Maryann brings it out in people… she channels it, controls it. She’s immortal Sam… she never wasn’t here…There’s no point in fighting her, you’ll never win.” Sam tells her he is not going to just let her kill him … and then he wonders if she would go away and leave everyone alone if he gave himself up to Maryann? Daphne climbs out of the water, telling him that she wouldn’t bet on it, that Maryann is having way too much fun. “She’s like a pyro in a room full of matches.” She tells Sam to go to Maryann, that she might just let him live… Sam pushes her away from him, saying “just stay the eff away from me…”

Meanwhile, Hugo and Sookie are having a chat … he tells her that he used to be just like her… saying, ” I thought I was a real emancipated thinker, especially when Isabel took me to bed. The sex was amazing, the best ever… well… you know… It’s addictive, isn’t it? … to be desired by something that powerful.” Sookie tells him that she is no addict. Hugo begins to defend himself and Sookie finally says, “So you went to the Fellowship because you can’t control yourself?” Hugo tells her that he begged Isabel to turn him, so they could be equals… but she was just using him, the same way that Bill is using Sookie. Sookie tells him, “You don’t know Bill.” After a bit more arguing back and forth, she wonders if the Newlin’s care so much about you, how come you’re still in here? Face it, Hugo, you’re nothing but a fangbanging traitor to them.” Hugo yells out to Gabe, telling him to let him out, that Sookie knows everything.  When no one answers his call, Sookie says sarcastically,  “Yep. You’re so all-fired important to them, aren’t cha??”

Cut to Sarah … all dressed up, out in front of the church (in that so-sweet-it-grates-on-my-last-nerve voice of hers) calling out “Welcome” to the “flock” at the “lock-in”. Steve waltzes up to her, “hey Darlin’, looking good” to which she replies, “You too. I told you that suit was a winner”. Who do these two think they are foolin’ ??!! Steve tells her he needs to speak with her in private…about Jason Stackhouse. Holey Moley…that oughta be a whopper of a conversation!!

Gabe, meanwhile, is dragging Jason into the woods, with a knife at his back. Jason keeps defending himself, saying he has been a good soldier… and that there has been some kinda mistake. Gabe tells him that there sure was a mistake, “when your mama spread her legs and pushed out you and your whore of a sister.” Well, that was not the thing to say to Jason, who proceeds to kick Gabe’s ass all over the freaking place… telling him, “Don’t EVER talk about my sister!!” With a last kick to the family jewels, Jason grabs the knife and runs off, leaving Gabe crumpled in the dirt.

Back at Merlotte’s, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) is working the cellphone, trying to drum up some customer’s for the V, as instructed by Pam… and looks pretty exasperated, stopping to use his trusty eyelash curler. (Could it be that Lafayette is almost B.A.C.K., in all his glory?? Say its True!!)

In the bar, Tara and Eggs are playing “kissyface” when Arlene (Carrie Preston)  walks in, wondering if they’ve seen Sam. Tara tells her that he blew off the entire day, “With Miss Employee of the Month” (meaning Daphne, I’m sure…) Arlene then says, “thank you Jesus, Santa Claus and Hare Krishna” and tells Eggs she needs to borrow Tara for a minute. They walk into the ladies room, where Lafayette is still primping … and Arlene says,”Excuse you, it says Ladies on the door”…. to which Lafayette replies, “So what you skank ho’s doing in here?” Tara (sounding so much like her old self that it makes me want to do a cheer!!) says, “Watch yourself bitch.” Lafayette then says, “I am. and I is gorgeous.” (Hallelujahs for some sassy talk outta Tara and Lafayette!! You have been missed so much!!) Tara wonders how his leg is doing…and Lafayette tells her that he has a “powerful immune system.” Tara says, “You have a powerful death wish (… perhaps clued in about the V??) and we’re gonna talk about this later.” Lafayette just sashays by…[Editor's Note: L was workin' it, baby!]

Arlene actually looks desperately unhappy, telling Tara, “I think I might’ve done something real bad…” and Tara tells her that coming out of her mouth, that is Scary! She tells Tara that she and Terry (Todd Lowe) have been fooling around some, but haven’t gotten past first base because every time they do, he goes running “like somebody lit a fire in his whities”. So, she says she thought she’d “try to get a few drinks in him, to loosen him up a bit…and it seemed to be working pretty good…and then…I blacked out!!” (Hmmm. Does that sound at all familiar, Miss Tara??!!) She then said she thinks she might’ve had her way with Terry, just a little bit, kinda against his will…and Tara says, deadpan, “Are you telling me you date-raped Terry Bellefleur? How is that even possible?” Arlene says she doesn’t know… and that he was acting so weird when they woke up… even weirder than usual… and there were certain tell-tale signs that they had… (done it?)… and Tara gives Arlene a hard look, asking her, “You don’t remember anything?” I think Tara might be starting to connect the dots, thank heaven.

Lafayette strolls into the bar and sees Eggs, who is waiting there for Tara. He looks him over and says, “Now that just isn’t …fair…” and Eggs says, “Excuse me?” Lafayette tells him that for the first time in his life he isn’t looking for trouble and it just keeps on walking through his door!  He tells Eggs, ” Look at you. Damn. Ain’t nothin’ good can come outta something so pretty!” (Yee Haa, you GO, Lafayette!! Wheeeee….) Eggs says, “You must be Lafayette. I’m Eggs.” Lafayette says, “Tara’s Eggs?”…and Tara comes walking up, saying, that just doesn’t sound right…”Your name is Benedict. Why don’t people call you Ben?” …and then Lafayette says…” or Dict?” Tara tells him to behave…and Lafayette looks her in the eye and then looks right at Eggs, saying, “Satan in a Sunday Hat, girl. I’m trying to tell you. Satan in a Beautiful effing Sunday Hat!”

Suddenly, Andy comes walking in to the bar, disheveled to say the least, still wearing his grass and mud stained shirt, with a ginormous cast on his arm, screaming for Terry to come out!  He yells out, “Terry Bellefleur… get out here.. I’ll be kicking your ass so hard you’ll be shitting boots!!” Tara asks Andy, “What happened to your arm?” He says,” I ain’t talking to you, devil worshipper!” Tara looks completely flabbergasted… we see Sam listening in, concealed … Andy tells her,”I saw you. I saw all of you” (talking to the bar full of people). Tara asks, “You saw what?” Andy tells her, “Go ahead, laugh and deny it … I know what I saw.” Arlene tells him Terry isn’t there and can she call him? Andy says, “Eff you, zombie woman. Eff all ya’ll, devil zombies!! Turning this town into an orgy from hell. I’ll stop you… I will stop you if it’s the last thing I ever do”…as he stumbles out of the bar. Arlene tries to make a joke, but Tara looks pretty shook up… and then Sam comes in, looking freaked out and Arlene says, “Sam, you look like you just saw a ghost”…

In Jessica’s room at the Hotel Carmilla, Hoyt is doing some “decorating” with red rose petals and blood-scented candles (which he describes as “smelling like soup”) with Leona Lewis’ “Bleeding Love” playing in the background. Jessica wakes and he asks her if she likes it …and she tells him, “It’s Perfect.” He tells her “that’s what I was going for… cuz you’re perfect and I want your first time to be as perfect as you are…” She tells him, “Just take off your pants” [Editor's Note: Wasn't that the most coquettish 'get naked' command EVER?] and he gets that “kid-on-a-Christmas morning” sweet grin on his face…(and I am wondering, where can the single girls of AmErica order a Hoyt Fortenberry of their very own??) and then he jumps in bed, with his jeans still down around his knees… Awwwww.

Jason, meanwhile, is running like a madman down a dirt road when he sees the jeep he and Steve played ‘kill-the-vampire’ paintball in… driven like a crazy person by Sarah. He seems relieved to see her, telling her that Gabe and Steve have gone nuts, and tried to kill him. Sarah, in silhouette, pulls a gun and we then see Jason falling in slow motion….

Daphne is on the dock when Maryann approaches … she goes to Maryann, telling her, “Finally. I’ve missed you.” Maryann tells her, ” Thank you, for your service” and kisses her… then steps back to reveal Eggs, with pure black eyes…who then steps forward and shoves the ceremonial dagger into Daphne’s chest … with Maryann grinning with delight just behind him. Daphne looks at Maryann with horror, disbelief and endless grief as she realizes that she is being sacrificed…and that she was just being used, the same as everyone else in Maryann’s life. What a BITCH she is. Please, I beg of you, I would just like to see Maryann get what is coming to her!!!

Back in the FotS basement, Hugo sees Gabe come in and wonders what has happened to his face… telling him that he is going to need protection now that Sookie knows that he is the traitor. Gabe tells him he will give him ‘protection!!’ and proceeds to kick his ass all over their little basement prison. Sookie tries to stop him by hopping on Gabe’s back (are you completely insane, girlfriend?). So Gabe decides that she needs an ass whooping as well… he starts strangling Sookie, telling her that she and her brother can’t make an a-hole out of him (as if he needs any help with that!!) and she begins shrieking at him to take his filthy hands off her…

Cut to Bill… feeling every moment of Sookie’s terror… hearing Lorena mumbling sleepily in the background, he tries to get to the door and she quickly smashes some furniture, holding a jagged piece of wood against Bill’s back, telling him, “Open that door and I will end you.” [Editor's Note: Am I the only one hoping Eric gets to pay for all this destruction?]

Flashback to 1935… Lorena and Bill are at a standoff…she tells him, “I gave you Everything. Everything!! and you threw it away, moaning over what you’ve lost …You disgust me!” Bill tells her, “Then let me go..” She tells him no…”I’ve made you and you are mine.” He tells her, “You know I don’t love you.” She tells him he has never tried…and he tells her that he has spent decades trying. He tells her that, “he despises himself for what I did for you … God help me … I killed innocent people to prove to you that I loved you … It was pure nihilism. [Editor's Note: Nihilism is a philosophy which argues that life is without meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value] I do not, I can not and I will never love you.” Lorena stubbornly insists that men have given their lives to spend one night with her… and seeing that he is unmoved, she says, ”What more can I give? What is it that you want from me?”  “Choice”, Bill answers simply. “Let me go”, he begs. Lorena tells him that he will be all alone in the world forever, without her.  He tells her she is the one who is afraid of that … and he looks at her with pity, telling her she is the saddest, loneliest creature he has ever known.”  ”How dare you”… she shrieks, throwing him down against a wooden table, breaking it into pieces.  He takes up a jagged piece of the wood, pointing it toward her… she wonders if he really hates her that much? “Let me go,” he asks again… and she tells him she cannot live without him. He tells her she will have to… and he bares his own chest, pointing the stake of wood at his heart. She cries out, ”No! Don’t!” and with tears of blood running down her cheeks, she tells him, “As your maker, I release you”… as he looks at her in stunned relief…

Cut to the present, with Lorena, stake in hand, refusing to let him go to Sookie. Bill is dumbfounded …”You released me, there was nothing left between us, what could you possibly have to gain from this? She tells him, ”You are making a fool of yourself with that girl … you have no future with her, everyone knows it but you.” He turns to grab the stake and they struggle … suddenly, there is a knock on the door and she clamps one hand over his mouth, the other on the stake… and says, “Yes?” in a sickeningly sweet voice. It is Barry at the door, with a message for Bill Compton. She tells him, “he is tied up right now but I’ll be happy to pass it along …” Barry says, “Tell him Sookie Stackhouse is in the basement of the FotS church, (cut to Eric, overhearing every word from his room down the hall) …”She said the sheriff is there and she’s in some kinda trouble”…and we see Eric off to the rescue, rushing by in a lightening fast blur…. We then see Barry “thinking” to Sookie…”this is the last time I am doing you or any of your vampire buddies any favors”…as we see a hand reach out into the hallway to pull Barry into one of the rooms!!!

Back in the basement, Gabe is just about to rape Sookie when suddenly, he is yanked away from her… and she looks up to see her savior, a very pale teenage boy holding Gabe by the scruff of his neck… and she says, “Godric??”

Whoa. This show just could not possibly be packed full of any more craziness… it is off the chart in every possible way! Things just keep getting more complex and complicated as each episode unfolds. So much food for thought … so many possibilities… so much deception and decadence… and so many chances for deliverance for all of our beloved characters. The debate rages at fever-pitch among the True Blood devotees… what in holy hell is going to happen next?? Who will live… and gasp, who might die??? We can hardly wait to find out!!!

Definition of nihilism just as a point of interest. Total rejection of established laws and institutions, anarchy, terrorism, or other revolutionary activity, total and absolute destructiveness, esp. toward the world at large and including oneself, nothingness or nonexistence. Hmm. That pretty much describes the kind of life Lorena wanted to live with Bill. The mere fact that he was able to summon the will and the determination to escape his fate… after having almost totally erased all of his humanity is beyond a miracle… and should give us Hope.  Hope that even a vampire is not doomed to a fate beyond his or her own choosing.

Up next!!

Godric, with eyes closed…”I am here my child”.

Eric, reverently kneeling before him…looking grateful and stunned…

Steve Newlin: Brothers and Sisters… the hour is upon us. Lines have been drawn. We are prepared for Armageddon.

Eric (NO!!!) on a slab in front of the congregation, with Sookie looking on… heavy silver chains burning into his flesh …”I offer myself in exchange for Godric’s freedom…”

Stan [Editor's Note: This guy is just trouble.. mark my words!] walks into the FotS church: “We’ll kill you first … Destroy all of them!!”

A fight breaks out at the church … someone is trying to stake Eric!

Samis in a jail cell …?

Tara is slapping the hell out of Eggs…

Maryann is preparing … a heart … for supper??? (disgusting!)

Lafayette holds the “Justice” Tarot card …

Is that someone in bed with Sookie?

Bill… finally running to the rescue …

Stan, baring his fangs…

Eggs with those freaking black eyes again …

Lorena is about to sink her fangs into someone…

Eric… retaliating??!! (Hope, hope, hope!!)

Steve Newlin: There will be a holy bonfire at dawn…

YIKES!!!!

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