What’s Cookin’ — Jive Turkey Sloppy Joes

November 26, 2010 by  

Lafayette comin’ atcha here. Youse know that I am an Entrepreneur! I work on da road crew to keep myself lookin’ hot and SEXAY and line my pockets with a little jingle. Then at nights I cook at Merlotte’s bar where all the local necks hang out. So now I’m branchin’ out and I’m goin’ to be Bon Temps version of da BAM! man. I mean no one has more Bam! Bam! Bam! than ‘lil ole me! And I kin cook too! Every week or so I’m going to teach y’all to make food good enough to melt even Nan Flanagan’s heart. Bon Chika Wow Wow – Appetit!

Jive Turkey Sloppy Joes

Child, youse know dat Turkey Day right around da corner. And you know down here, we gon get full off dat fried bird.

We gon have Nettie Mae’s macaroni and cheese, Tara’s green bean casserole, Sam’s potato salad, Arlene’s pumpkin pie, and Jason gon bring da dressing. I don’t know how well he gon do wit dat, but we gon give it a try. It’s his second Thanksgiving without Grams, so you know he gon be missing her.

And you remember what happened last year wit Andy and dat fried turkey. He darned near burned my whole property down, so you just know he ain’t got no invite to bring no food – we just told him to show up and fix himself a plate and we gon handle da cookin.

Heffers, I know y’all finna sit down da day after Thanksgiving to tryna figure out what you gonna do wit all dat leftover turkey. Turkey gumbo, turkey po-boys – well you get da picture. Well, ya boy gonna let you know whatcha can do wit da leftovers and yo family gonna love it.


5 cups of leftover turkey

½ bottle of BBQ sauce

¼ cup of mustard

1/8 stick of butter

2 tablespoons of grape jelly

Creole seasoning

Throw all dem ingredients into dat Crock Pot and mix dem together well. Simmer on low for 5 hours. What youse can do is put dat in ya Crock Pot when you head over to da mall on Friday. By da time you get back in from all dat beatin da pavement, ya food gonna be ready to serve. Let dat mix cook all day and den serve dat on some French bread, toast, hamburger buns, or for you Yankees up north, hoagie buns.

Enjoy & Happy Turkey Day, tricks!

Written By: Arlene Culpepper

Graphics Creation Credits: Steven Easterly

Photo Credit:  www.tasteofhome.com

To read more yummy Lafayette approved recipes use the search function to find “What’s Cookin‘” in our archives!

Disclaimer: These recipes are provided for entertainment and culinary purposes only and should be made by ordinary humans only with ordinary ingredients. This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement. What’s Cookin’ and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlain Harris’s or the Sookie Stackhouse novels.