What’s Cookin! – Mardi Gras Cabbage

January 18, 2010 by  

Lafayette comin’ atcha here.  Youse know that I am an Entrepreneur!  I work on da road crew to keep myself lookin’ hot and SEXAY and line my pockets with a little jingle.  Then at nights I cook at Merlotte’s bar where all the local necks hang out.  So now I’m branchin’ out and I’m goin’ to be Bon Temps version of da BAM! man.  I mean no one has more Bam! Bam! Bam! than ‘lil ole me!  And I kin cook too! Every week or so I’m going to teach y’all to make food good enough to melt even Nan Flanagan’s heart. Bon Chika Wow Wow – Appetit!

Child, ya boy is back after takin’ some time off to celebrate da new year. I spent da new year in Dallas and it was off da chain! There was good lookin’, sweaty mens everywhere and ya best believe ya boy kept himself busy.

When I got home to Bon Temps, it was back to servin’ da necks at Merlotte’s. I been tryin’ to come up wit some new recipes since dat Mardi Gras right around da corner. I won’t be here to handle up on da cookin’, so I gots to leave Terry wit some directions so he can take care of my peeps while I’m New Orleans.

I got a special friend dat I met while surfin’ da web and he’s done gone and invited me to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Aw Sookie, Sookie nah ….. dat’s all I gots to say bout dat. We gonna stay at dat luxurious French Quarter hotel, Hotel Monteleone. Once I gets there, I plan to take myself a lil nap and then head on down to Bourbon Street, right in da middle of da action. I will keep y’all posted on dis and might even send ya some tweets or somethin’ live from da scene!

For now, I want y’all to try my new recipe I call Mardi Gras Cabbage:


1 head of cabbage

Creole seasoning

1 yellow onion

1 bell pepper

½ pound of smoked sausage

1 tablespoon of butter

1 link of tasso

1 clove of garlic


Slice cabbage and cover in water. Bring to a boil after adding Creole seasoning. In a saucepan, melt butter and sauté sausage, tasso, onion, bell pepper, and garlic. Mix inta da cabbage, cover and cook til well done. Youse kin use a pressure cooker at this point like we do at Merlotte’s ta cut down the time but don’t be blowin’ yerselves up now.. y’hear? Unless’n yer name is Eric Norhman then I’m not so’s particular bout yer safety.. but that’s a story fer another day. Yer kin serve dis over rice or alone.

Now wheres did I put those gold lame pants and that HOT black top? You knows I gotsta look good for the parades! Or maybe dat new purple one piece…

(Photo credit: http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/4873696/cabbage-main_Full.jpg)

Graphics Creation Credits: Steven Easterly

To read more yummy Lafayette approved recipes go to the “What’s Cookin‘” archives!

Disclaimer: These recipes are provided for entertainment and culinary purposes only and should be made by ordinary humans only with ordinary ingredients.  This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement.  What’s Cookin’ and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlain Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels.