What’s Cookin’ -Tara’s Favorite Spicy Hot Jambalaya

September 17, 2009 by  


Lafayette comin’ atcha here. Youse know that I am an Entrepreneur!  I work on da road crew to keep myself lookin’ hot and SEXAY and line my pockets with a little jingle.  Then at nights I cook at Merlotte‘s bar where all the local necks hang out.  So now I’m branchin’ out and I’m goin’ to be Bon Temps version of da BAM! man.  I mean no one has more Bam! Bam! Bam! than ‘lil ole me!  And I kin cook too! Every week or so I’m going to teach y’all to make food good enough to melt even Nan Flanagan‘s heart. Bon Chika Wow Wow – Appetit!

Tara’s Favorite Spicy Hot Jambalaya

Ya boy Lafayette’s back in da house. I been gone for a while and Lord knows where I been. Alls I know is that I was wearing an azz-ugly dress when I came to – ya know ya boy don’t go out like that. When I got back to work at Merlottes’ da next day, I was in full effect – eyeliner and all. I got my drank on and next thang ya know, the day went from wierd to weirder. All those necks spreading rumors that you just know ain’t right, talkin’ bout aliens comin down to Bon Temps fer Godric‘s sake! Someone started a rumor bout some nasty shine getting into da water and then, Andy shot Eggs! So ya know I gots to comfort Tara, I have not done right by that girl lately, ignorin’ her birthday and beatin’ on her man.. and she’s my homegirl… One of her favorite dishes is jambalaya so I went ahead and made her some. Aunt Lettie and me was eatin’ some, too, and I thought about y’all mofos and how ya hadn’t heard from me in a while. I thought I’d come back to give my people another hot recipe.

In Bon Temps, we like to make our jambalaya with any kind of meat we can get our hands on. Speaking of – ya boy ain’t been up to too much no good lately. I’m gonna have to see how I can change that. I’m bout to get that internet site back up and runnin’. I gots some crazy nasty dancin’ footage from when Eric healed my leg comin’ atcha real soon! Come check me out when ya get a chance. Ya know I don’t disappoint. Until then, here’s that recipe:


  • 2 pounds of chicken, deboned & sliced (plenty of that round Bon Temps)
  • 1 pound of smoked hot sausage (just the way ya boy likes it)
  • 2 center cut pork chops, sliced
  • 2 yellow onions, chopped
  • 1 bell pepper, chopped
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1 stalk of celery, chopped
  • 1 stalk of green onions, chopped
  • Creole seasoning (cayenne pepper, black pepper, parsley & salt)
  • 2 cups of chicken stock
  • 2 cups of water
  • 2 cups of rice
  • 2 Tablespoons of butter

Slap da butter in a black iron pot (or Magnalite) and melt it. Throw in da chicken, sausage and pork chops. Season da meat well with dat Creole seaconing and brown it good. Add da onions, bell pepper, celery, and green onions and then scrape the bottom of da pot to loosen da browned bits – child, dat’s da good stuff ya don’t want to miss. Add chicken stock and water. Mix together and add da rice. Bring to a boil and stir it real good. Reduce to a simmer, cover and let cook on low for about 30 minutes.

Ya can grill a chicken breast or pork chop to serve over da jambalaya – just make sure ya season it real good. Da last thang ya want to do is serve meat to your guests when it’s not hot & spicy like ya boy.


(Photo credit: www.thomhackett.com)

Graphics Creation Credits: Steven Easterly

To check out my other Bon Chika Wow Wow dishes see the archives!

Disclaimer: These recipes are provided for entertainment and culinary purposes only and should be made by ordinary humans only with ordinary ingredients.  This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement.  What’s Cookin’ and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlain Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels.