How To Deal With Vampires

November 27, 2009 by  

BillVampires are now considered as boyfriend material. Correct me if I’m wrong but some would even want to present themselves to be bitten by the odd creatures. But if the likes of True Blood’s Bill and Eric or Twilight’s Edward Cullen and Stefan Salvatore of Vampire Diaries and oh, let’s not forget the old time favorite – Dracula would fall for you, can you resist?! Anyway, here’s the “how to” list in dealing with vampires.

How to make sure he’s a vampire…
True Blood vampires are out and about in public. So, Bill, Eric, and the others would surely tell you that they’re vampires and well, they’re night creatures so you’ll be able to only see them at night time. Twilight saga’s Edward Cullen has icy skin, and changing eye color and when he’s exposed to sunlight, he’ll definitely sparkle. But it’s difficult to tell if Stefan of Vampire Diaries is a real vampire because you need to ask him so it depends on him if he’ll tell you the truth or not. On the other hand, Dracula’s the easiest to spot – he doesn’t have a reflection in a mirror and he wears the his legendary cape and tux.

How to make him fall in love with you…
If Bill’s your type, you have to treat him equally and you shouldn’t be afraid of his odd vampire ways and be generous enough to let him taste your blood. You have to smell like Edward’s favorite dinner and dessert if you want him badly. You also need not to freak out when Stefan tells you that he’s a vampire. But if you love the old Dracula, you should perfect the lust craft and it would also help if you resemble the woman he used to love in the past hundreds of years.

How to keep him away and protect yourself….
Don’t invite Bill inside your humble abode – he can’t let himself in if you don’t give your permission and anything silver will cause injuries. You need to look into Edward’s eyes for an indicator – if it’s black, it means ravenous and risky and if it’s golden, sated and safe. To drive Stefan away, wear a locket around your neck that contains vervain and just like Bill, he can’t come inside your house if he has no permission but just try not to look in his eyes – he can hypnotize you for sure. On the other hand, garlic and a cross will do for Dracula.

How to kill him…
A stake right through Bill’s heart would definitely end him. As for Edward, you’ll be needing the help of the Volturi. If you’re aching to kill Stefan, weaken him using vervain and then stake him. And still you need to stake Dracula preferably when he’s resting in his favorite coffin.

How to keep him yours forever…
Persuade Bill to be your maker – that is letting him drain you and drink some of his blood then spend a night together buried. Or convince Edward to bite and inject lots of venom into your body when you’re near death so that you’ll transform into a vampire like him. You have to get bitten by a vampire, feed on his blood, die, rise from the dead then feed on a human if you want to be with Stefan forever. And if you wanted to be Dracula’s companion, he must bite, drain and kill you but don’t worry because the next night, you’ll be like him.

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  • Nia

    I can only hope and pray that someday I will run into Bill Compton so I may try these great tips of yours Jessel!!! LOL
    I would definitely want to keep my vampire happy and I know he would make me feel the same!
    Thanks for the fun article.
    We need many more entertaining distractions like this since we are only partway through this long hiatus. It keeps our fires burning for our favorites so they may soon return to us!!!

  • Antonio

    What an interesting say the least! LOL
    Well, I certainly wouldn’t mind dating Jessica or maybe even Pam,Myself! 🙂 Even though Female vampires do not seem to be as devoted as their Male counterparts to the objects of their attention. How to deal? Well,Most Guys would want to deal with them 1 way, Stake And Burn Them!! The Females,perhaps they would keep as maybe dates! Many guys would view these undead dudes as competition and rather stiff(pardon the pun) competition at That! I think that I could be friends with Bill,as long as he didnt try to hurt me or force his way on me!
    Still, I Cant Blame Tara,Sam and to some degree,Jason(although he was a bit rough about it) for being concerned for her safety and welfare regarding her dating a bloodsucker!
    The Best way? Take them out tie them up to a tree and leave them to be burned and disintegrated in the sunlight!
    Technically speaking of course…LOL
    No offense to Any Vamp Lovers or “friends of the fang” as Mr.Northman put it!