Doggonit!

November 11, 2010 by  

Bon Temps Animal Rescue Log Book

Saturday November 6, 2010

Recorded by: Beauregard Johnson, Director of Animal Rescue

Yet again, I am going to have to find myself a new intern. Over the last three months, I have gone through four interns. I never thought working in a quiet town like Bon Temps would be so stressful! If it’s not one thing it’s another, the last one quit while rambling something about a panther. Seriously, a panther in Bon Temps? I swear these kids get crazier and crazier!

Monday night I left my newest intern, Miss Cici Patton, working here as usual. I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary and figured she could handle whatever happened. Around 1:30 AM someone began pounding on the door saying they were here to turn over the biggest dog they’d ever seen. Apparently, they had chained the dog up when they’d found it sleeping in their yard. Miss Patton let them in and got a glimpse of the dog and according to her own written statement, “It was the biggest maama ja hamma she had ever seen.”

After recording the take in time and where the dog had been found, she loaded him into a kennel and went about the rest of the night’s work. About 45 minutes later she heard a commotion in the front of the building. Sookie Stackhouse was banging on the front door. Cici let her in and reported that Miss Stackhouse seemed frantic as she explained that she was searching for a large dog she’d been watching for a friend. She went on to describe the animal that had just been brought in.

Here is where the story gets really odd. Miss Patton says that she escorted Miss Stackhouse back to the kennel and Cici swears that there was no dog inside. She stated that she would put her hand to the bible and swear that there had been a large naked man inside of the kennel. Of course, it was difficult to get an accurate account of the situation because Miss Patton reports that she had passed out and when she awoke Miss Stackhouse and the naked man had disappeared.  Furthermore, Miss Patton was rambling like a crazy person and promptly told me in no uncertain terms what I could do with the intern position here at the animal shelter, just before slamming out of the building.

I contacted Miss Stackhouse to inquire about the incident. She said that although her friend from Shreveport had already been by to pick up his dog, she would be delighted to bring the dog back in so that I could see for myself that it was indeed real. She apologized if anything might have frightened away my intern, but that in her opinion, nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

I assured her that it would not be necessary to bring the dog in.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Recorded by: Beauregard Johnson, Director of Animal Rescue

A very nice gentleman came by the shelter today and brought a donation check for $5,000. His name was Alcide Herveaux. His donation came with one strange request however, that we build some bigger kennels.


Disclaimer: “Doggonit!” is provided for entertainment purposes only and is a parody of the fantasy series, True Blood, and as such is presented here for your amusement. The writers have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said program nor any relation to Charlaine Harris, or the Sookie Stackhouse novels.

Written By: Reagan Grimes

Dog Catcher Grahpic Credit: www.columbuser.com

Baby Werewolf Graphic Credit: www.cafepress.com/+cartoon-werewolf+posters

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