Reality Bites – Session 11: The Clot Thickens

September 7, 2010 by  

Every week, a diverse panel of Bon Temps residents gather to watch and discuss each new episode of HBO’s True Blood. The sessions are moderated by Nina Harken, PhD candidate interested in finding out what the real folks of Bon Temps think of the portrayal of their town and their people on HBO’s hit series.

NINA
Well, I suppose we should start by saying welcome back everyone. After last week’s full moon issue —

[Tracy squirms in her seat.]

NINA
— it was probably for the best we didn’t meet.

CHUCK
Aw, hell, is that what happened? I was here last week, all ready to go. It was almost daylight when I figured nobody was gonna show.

NINA
Sorry about that, Chuck. But we’re here now and we’ve got a lot to talk about. So?

MADISON
Eric isn’t gonna die, right? I mean, I know they want you to think he is… but, he’s like the best character. They can’t kill him, can they?

ELIJAH
No, I suppose they cannot. Kind of softens the impact, doesn’t it?

NINA
There is something to be said about that. It’s hard to build tension when the whole viewing audience is aware that Alexander Skarsgard is signed on for next season.

MADISON
Right. You’re right. Whew.

NATHAN
Well just becaused Alexander Skarsgard is signed on doesn’t mean that Eric is alive.  I mean look at Godric.

MADISON
Oh-no…You’re right.  Why did you have to say that?

TRACY
Doesn’t look good for the King, though.

CHUCK
Good riddance.  At least Eric will finally get revange.

ELIJAH
Oh who cares about revange?  Eric is so focus on revenge that I don’t think he would pay any attention to me.  I think I’ll turn my attention to Lafayette.  Or Jesus.  Or both.

MADISON
*Eyes tearing up*  But, Eric is sacrificing himself for everyone.

HENRIETTA
Don’t make the mistake of mislabling heroism for selfishness.

NATHAN
Kinda how like your Chuch is one hundred percent pure and just?

HENRIETTA
The Fellowship of the Sun is a group of devout, God-Fearing people who think that vampires are the embodiment of evil.

NATHAN
I’m just glad you actually think that.

BYRON
I admit I’m very confused by the notion of whether or not Bill actually cares about Sookie.  I’m glad he saved her from Fangtasia, but is it for love or her blood?  It is hard to get a character read from someone who has had hundreds of years to mask intentions.

ELIJAH
Whats that saying about buying the cow if the milk is free?

MADISON
And always seems like Sookie’s the one left dying or bleeding or screaming…

NINA
Now what about the newest character – Holly? What do we think of her?

HENRIETTA
Evil woman.

TRACY
We don’t know that yet, lady.

NATHAN
Evil or not, her “spells” don’t seem to work. Arlene is still pregnant.

ELIJAH
Or is the baby just that powerful?

BYRON
Either way, it is a terrible situation to be in. One can’t blame Arlene for doing what she did.

HENRIETTA
I think she’s just over-reacting. There’s absolutely no reason to terminate that pregnancy.

TRACY
Yeah, that’s it. Let’s just bring another mass murderer into the world. Great idea.

HENRIETTA
That Terry is right in every way. If you love that child and raise it right, it’ll be fine.

MADISON
But what exactly is Holly? A Wican? That means she’s a witch.

ELIJAH
Not necessarily, although I’m sure that’s where this is going. What I do not understand is the situation with Mr. Jason Stackhouse and his little football friend. Really, what is the point there?

TRACY
That the kid’s on V.

ELIJAH
So?

TRACY
And, at least according to him, his coach and parents are cool with it.

NATHAN
So what, there’s some big corruption ring going on?

BYRON
That’s a possibility. Most likely a lead-in for next season. I’m also concerned with Sam’s mental state. He has such a dark past and it’s all coming to light now.

MADISON
And he’s a lot like his dad, even though Joe Lee didn’t raise him.

TRACY
See? You wonder why Arlene’s all worked up? Doesn’t matter if Rene’s alive or dead – the kid has his blood! He’s doomed. Sam’s the perfect example.

HENRIETTA
That’s just because Sam was drinking to excess. Ain’t no good comin’ from that.

TRACY
I guess that’s Tara’s excuse, too.

NINA
Why don’t we move on to, uh, oh Jessica and Hoyt?

MADISON
So cute!

CHUCK
I like how she just admits she likes fresh blood. We all wanna say that.

HENRIETTA
Oh, Lord.

ELIJAH
Question:  What is going on with Lafayette?  I mean I’ve let humans have my blood before, and that’s never happened.

BYRON
Maybe he is still experiencing mental trauma from being used by Eric, first as a prisoner, then forcing him to sell.

CHUCK
Yeah, I mean he did get the crap kicked out of him by Crystal’s family the first time he tried to sell it to them.

MADISON
Oh, yeah:  OMG Were-Panther!  That’s amazing.  That was a pretty kitty.

NATHAN
I know that some of the people in this  room are…

ELIJAH
Easy now…

NATHAN
…different…

ELIJAH
Good boy.

NATHAN
…but Crystal’s family is messed up.  They want her to have her half brother’s baby?

CHUCK
Like you said, messed up.

TRACY
At least Jason still wants to be with her though.  It’s not easy to be someone who is…out there.

BYRON
I don’t see things ending well for Jason being that he is now going to go against the law.  Poor boy is always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

HENRIETTA
Going against the law eh?  What about what Tommy was doing after Sam yelled at him?

TRACY
Yeah, what was he doing?

NATHAN
Clipping some sort of wires?

ELIJAH
I’m not entirely certain that I can even say that was Tommy.

NINA
Interesting.  Well how about we call it a night there to build a little suspense.  Next time we meet, we’ll get to see how all of these stories come together.

This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement. “Reality Bites” and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels.

Authors: Sarah Pugh & Cory Brin

Header: K. Rose

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