Reality Bites – Session 3: Family and Fops

June 23, 2010 by  

Reality Bites – Session 3:  Family and Fops

Every week, a diverse panel of Bon Temps residents gather to watch and discuss each new episode of HBO’s True Blood. The sessions are moderated by Nina Harken, PhD candidate interested in finding out what the real folks of Bon Temps think of the portrayal of their town and their people on HBO’s hit series.

Session #3 – Family and Fops

NINA
Wow, all right then. Thanks for coming back everyone. Now we just saw the second episode of the season, Beautifully Broken. Pieces from last week are coming together, lots of new characters to talk about. I’d like to begin by asking everyone to talk about one element of the episode that was of particular interest to you. Let’s start over here with Madison.

MADISON
So, Eric.

NATHAN
Here we go.

MADISON
No, seriously. How hot was he when he was trying to get Sookie to invite him in? And, and he really was trying to protect her. Loved it.

TRACY
But he lied to her.

MADISON
Only at first. He came clean. Oh, and Jessica. Man, that guy was gross. I can’t believe she slept next to him. Ew. But at least Pam was helping her out a little. Although I wasn’t totally sure what happened to that body. Did that other vampire guy steal it?

CHUCK
Disposin’ of a body ain’t that hard. Don’t know why it took that girl so long.

HENRIETTA
Oh, heaven help me.

NINA
Let’s stick to the episode. Byron?

BYRON
I just want to say, as someone who has overcome many obstacles, that it is very important to have family help you through any challenges you may face.  Considering that Sam was technically abandoned by two families, it is quite impressive to see that he has accomplished as much as he has.  It isn’t easy to achieve success when you are in the minority.  Sam’s anger at his family about not letting him know the changes he would be going through, is extremely justified.

CHUCK
Hell with that, how about that Bill ripping off a werewolf’s ear?  Now that’s what I call action.

NINA
Tracy, would you like to add anything?

[TRACY stares intently at CHUCK]

NATHAN
Jesus lady that’s all kinds of wrong.

[With a confused look, NINA glances back and forth between NATHAN and TRACY.]

TRACY
The first time you see werewolves and they are Nazis?  The first time you saw a vampire, he was almost as sparkly as Edward Cullen!  Did you see what the character name was for that werewolf that Godric and Eric killed?  It was in the credits:  Were-bitch.  Now where do they get off calling female werewolves, “were-bitches?”

ELIJAH
Well! Somebody’s awfully defensive.

[TRACY’S glare switches to ELIJAH.]

NINA
Yes Elijah, it’s your turn now, would you like to add anything else?

ELIJAH
Who was that flaming fop with the Vampire King?  What was that?  That hair?  The shiny clothes?  That ridiculous accent?  Please, how can someone be that oblivious?  Not to mention that the King himself was a crusty fop.  Even when horses were the main form of transportation, we never rode them.

[CHUCK bursts into laughter.]

TRACY
Really?  I thought they based that character on you.

[ELIJAH glares back at TRACY.]

ELIJAH
Unlike all the meals in the Vampire King’s house, all of my meals are not willingly donated.  Though, I would kill for some of that blood gelato.

NATHAN
I thought it was cute…I mean funny when Jason asked about Santa Claus.  It was nice to see the Stackhouse children together on good terms.  In fact it seemed like the theme of this episode was the importance of family…something I’ve not always enjoyed the experience of.

BYRON
Roger that, son.

NINA
Now Henrietta, I first wanted to ask you about the giant silver cross you are wearing around your neck.  I don’t seem to recall you having that last week.

HENRIETTA
Well let’s just say after Mr. Grantierre’s little outburst last week, I wanted to make sure I had the power of God protecting me.

ELIJAH
It would take more than the power of God, I assure you.

HENRIETTA
I’ll let faith be my weapon.  I thought it was such a nice thing tha Lafayette was doing for Tara May, trying to prevent her from spending eternity in damnation for killing herself.  She was almost making progress too, until she became involved with that new child of Satan.

CHUCK
At least that vampire’s a man of action.

NINA
Now let’s move on to how you all feel Bon Temps has been represented.  Madison?

MADISON
Um, I don’t know.  What was with all that stuff in Bill’s drawer about Sookie?  And why was that other vampire looking for it?

BYRON
I think it’s admirable what Andy did to protect Jason.  Those two went to battle together against Maryanne and any good company commander would stick up for his men.  I’m sure most of the real cops around here wouldn’t want take the heat of being a murderer, even if it did bring glory.

CHUCK
How about that bitch Lorena going up in flames?  Woo-eee buddy.

TRACY
Woo-eee indeed.

ELIJAH
Honestly how much of a fop was that guy?

NINA
Elijah, that has nothing to do with Bon Temps.

ELIJAH
Fine, the only thing I have to say is that they seem to be making such a big deal about the vampire politics.  If you ask me, its not really that big a deal.

NATHAN
Seriously, a meth lab?  A meth lab in Bon Temps?  How 1990s?  You can get V and they are still showing people doing meth?

MADISON
Hey wait a minute…speaking of blood, they never mentioned anything about Lafayette selling all of the blood he was supposed to sell.  Pam said, “by nightfall” and we made it through a whole day.  I know because we got to see Eric again.

HENRIETTA
Before all of these unholy beings made themselves known, Bon Temps was a lovely place.  Now you have vampires, werewolves, drunkards, people making drugs, rampant sexuality, and deplorable crimes.  I agree that all those things are horrible, but there are good Christian folks who live in Bon Temps too.  Why can’t they ever focus on them?

NINA
Well put Henrietta.  Well I think that’s a good conversation for tonight.  I look forward to speaking with you all again after next week’s episode of True Blood.

This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement. “Reality Bites’ and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels.

Header Credit:  K. Rose

Author Credits:  Sarah Pugh and Cory Brin

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