Reality Bites – Session 4: Heads or Tail?

June 30, 2010 by  

Every week, a diverse panel of Bon Temps residents gather to watch and discuss each new episode of HBO’s True Blood. The sessions are moderated by Nina Harken, PhD candidate interested in finding out what the real folks of Bon Temps think of the portrayal of their town and their people on HBO’s hit series.

NINA
Well, here we are, the third episode into the season. And no shortage of storylines. So, let’s talk. Open forum. Who has something to say?

[A beat of silence]

NINA
Oh, come on now, somebody must have something to say about this episode.

BYRON
Ahem… well, while I admire Jason Stackhouse for attempting to apply himself to something of value, I question whether this is a serious consideration of his and the writers. I would hate to have something as important as joining the police force to be brushed aside.

NATHAN
Yeah, that was a little weird.

BYRON
I also did not think it was very wise of the sheriff to quit.

HENRIETTA
Do you blame the poor man? He’s old. In the TV show Bon Temps was essentially crime free. and then suddenly, he’s dealin’ with vampires, serial killers, sexual deviants —

ELIJAH
Yum.

HENRIETTA
— dear Lord. Now they have this man who is missin’ his head…

MADISON
But we know who did it.

NATHAN
Bud doesn’t.

HENRIETTA
I suppose I should not be surprised that a vampire would do such a terrible thing to the human body.

ELIJAH
Oh, darlin’, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

HENRIETTA
And I thought a vampire couldn’t compel a human into inviting them in? Doesn’t that violate the spirit of the rules?

Crickets…

NINA
OK well. How about a different topic?

MADISON
There was definitely not enough —

HENRIETTA, NATHAN, ELIJAH, CHUCK, TRACY, BYRON together:
Eric.

MADISON
Whoa. You guys noticed, too? I mean, okay, he gave Lafayette the car, which was kinda funny.  And he took the bullet for the werewolf in the beginning only to kill him later, but that was it. Serious Eric shortage.

CHUCK
I just appreciate that vampires are all individuals, not like those werewolves.  They all looked like biker redneck hicks!

MADISON
That new werewolf is kinda cute…Alcide…but he’s not Eric.  I’m surprised he actually was protecting Sookie though, you know?

CHUCK
If his life is on the line, he’ll let Sookie die.  Werewolves are all selfish greedy bastards.

TRACY
Really?  Cause I thought all vampires were sorta gay.

[CHUCK’S fangs appear as he lurches toward TRACY.  MADISON’S eyes are shielded by her mother’s hand, HENRIETTA grabs her cross and ducks under the table.]

ELIJAH
Oh Charles, put the fangs away. When you reach my age, you’ll find that men and women sorta… blur together.

NATHAN
How progressive…for a vampire.

ELIJAH
Since you brought it up …how about that scene with Bill and Lorena?  I must try that.  Madison…interested?

MADISON
Ew…you don’t even look a little bit like Eric.

ELIJAH
Nathan?

NINA
We’re supposed to be discussing the episode, not planning our social lives.

ELIJAH
Jealous?

HENRIETTA
I swear on my Mother’s grave that I have never seen anything quite as disturbing as those two vampires…making love…if that’s what you want to call it…

NATHAN
Bill spent a lot of time in flashback this episode. I mean, we got to see why he hates Lorena so much.

ELIJAH
That one was Bill’s own fault. You cannot go back to your human life. It just complicates everything.

NATHAN
Regardless… I think there was too much in this episode. It was really heavy and didn’t really advance the story at all. They did the same thing in the second season – slowed down the pace of the whole show.

MADISON
Yeah, but we got to see Bill’s wife and his kid. It was kinda cool.

NATHAN
But kinda long. Between that and Sam’s story…

BYRON
I do agree that Sam’s story has gotten a bit out of hand. It seems as though the only shifters this series portrays are drunks, criminals, or liars. And where did his brother put Sam’s money when he was a bird???

TRACY
Just like weres are all bikers. Or Nazis.

NINA
So ultimately, some of you think —

NATHAN
In some cases.

NINA
— the series stereotypes certain people?

BRYON, CHUCK, and TRACY
Yes.

NINA
Interesting.  Now let’s move into the portion of the panel where we talk about Bon Temps.  Any one want to start?

MADISON
I think its sad that nobody really went to Eggs’s funeral.  I mean, he was a part of the town for a little while and still nobody came.  Not even to support Tara.  That was kinda sad.  I think the real Bon Temps would show more support for their bartender.  Oh and speaking of Tara…a one nighter with a creepy British vampire?

TRACY
I knew that Bill Compton was up to no good.  Can’t trust a vamper.

NINA
But what about Bon Temps?

NATHAN
I think that there isn’t a lot of focus on Bon Temps this year…which I don’t like.  All of the main characters are doing their own things now.  I kinda liked in the first two seasons when they all had to work together.

ELIJAH
Or at least were getting in trouble together.

HENRIETTA
Too many murders.  The young people may drink, do drugs, and have sex out of wedlock, but there are no murders–even with vampires and werewolves running around.  Even they know there is a line that they can not cross.  Bon Temps is a town, not a mass grave.

BYRON
Also, the show makes it seem like the only jobs you can have in Bon Temps is being on the road crew or in the food service industry. That Lafayette has two legal jobs and those are both it.  There are plenty of sophisticated jobs in town as well.

NINA
All interesting viewpoints.  Well, I think that’s good for now.  Everyone enjoy next week off while you watch the fireworks.  We’ll see everyone back here in two weeks.

This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement. “Reality Bites” and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlaine Harris‘s Sookie Stackhouse novels.

Header Credit: K. Rose

Author Credits: Cory Brin and Sarah Pugh

Share