Vampire vs. Human TV Boyfriends

September 26, 2009 by  

Stephen Moyer and David BoreanazStephen Moyer and David Boreanaz shared the stage as presenters at the Emmys on September 20th, and while their current onscreen counterparts–Bill Compton (True Blood) and Seeley Booth (Bones)–share very little in common,  I have to wonder if the awards show producers didn’t put the two actors together simply because of David’s work as the vampire, Angel, from Joss Whedon’s Buffy and Angel series.

While critics may have just gotten onto the vampire bandwagon, we fans have all known for years:  vampires make for sexy TV.

Why?  Sara Bibel of Fancast explains in her article “Why TV Vampires Make Better Boyfriends Than Their Fictional Counterparts“:

So why are the undead considered so damn sexy? And why vampires, specifically? No one is hot for zombies. Academics argue that being bitten is a literary metaphor for sex, specifically loss of virginity. The obsessive nature of vampire lust also makes him an appealing fantasy. Nothing is more important to a vamp than the object of his obsession. A vampire would never blow off a girl to play fantasy football with his boys…In fact, TV vampires are consistently better boyfriends than their mortal fictional counterparts.

As a longtime fan of the vampire genre, I have to agree.  Vampire boyfriends have been laying waste to their human counterparts for years. After all, they’ve had a pretty big headstart, what with having centuries of experience and all.

Stephen and David’s work is specifically described in the Fancast article as examples of this phenomenon.  She first compares David Boreanaz work as both Seeley Booth (Bones) and Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel), stating:

Angel and BuffyBooth is an FBI Agent who works tirelessly to solve crimes. He also served his country as an Army Ranger. Angel is a P.I. whose mission is to help the helpless. They’re both stand up guys, with a facility for the dryly witty clip. Let’s stipulate that they are both equally attractive David Boreanaz lookalikes. Both have their issues with women. Sex with his true love Buffy turned Angel into the diabolical Angelus. That led to the death of Buffy’s beloved teacher and the near destruction of the world. Once Angel was resouled, they were forced to settle for a disappointingly chaste relationship. On the other hand, at least Buffy and Angel’s relationship actually happened. Booth only had sex with Bones in a DREAM SEQUENCE. Then when he woke up he had apparent amnesia. Who would ever want to date a guy who cannot bring himself to pursue a girl in real life? And a guy who forgets all about the girl? Nobody, that’s who. Plus, Angel will sing Barry Manilow at karaoke.

For fans of Alan Ball‘s True Blood and Charlaine HarrisSouthern Vampire Mystery series, this comparison is very relevant.  Charlaine has praised the dialogue in Angel and Buffy, and she makes direct reference to both shows in her novels.  Some of HBO‘s True Blood characters have referred to their Sunnydale counterparts as well.

Fancast doesn’t stop the comparisons there, however.  Stefan Salvatore of Vampire Diaries is compared with Chuck Bass of Gossip Girl, with the vampire clearly way ahead of his competitor in the romance department, and then True Blood‘s Bill Compton is pitted against Friday Night Lights‘ Tim Riggins because:

Sookie and BillBill and Tim are both small town heartthrobs with bad reputations. Every human in Bon Temps is suspicious of Bill just because he is a vampire. Sure, he used to kill people but he is reformed now that synthetic blood is available. No one gives Riggins credit for renouncing his partying ways, either. But Bill is a far better boyfriend. He is a stand up guy who is willing to risk his life for Sookie and frequently stand up to his fellow vampires. He is the poster child for personal responsibility, acting as a ward to the girl he was forced to turn into a vampire. Tim, not having hundreds of years of life experience, frequently lets Lila down. He resents Lila’s attempts to help him win a college scholarship. He makes a drunken ass out of himself. Sure, his heart is in the right place, but in the long run he is always going to choose failure over success.

There have been hints that Bill Compton has some skeletons in his closet which Sookie might be shocked to discover, but whatever may be revealed, it’s very likely that, so long as Sookie is certain that those things are definitely in his past, he is still the better boyfriend compared to his human heartthrob counterpart.

Fancast wraps up the comparisons by examining first Mick St. John of Moonlight and Shawn Spencer of Psych (no real serious contest between the two crime solvers there), and then Dark Shadows‘ Barnabas Collins and Mad Men‘s Don Draper.  With this final analysis, the two are more evenly matched, though in the end, as Fancast states, it’s Barnabas the vampire for the win, mainly because of Johnny Depp’s upcoming film portrayal of Barnabas in Tim Burton’s adaptation of Dark Shadows because, “Depp is always, always the better man.”

Do you agree that vampires make the better boyfriends?  Have some other examples of your own?  Weigh in with your opinion below.


(Photo credits: JustJared, HBO Inc., and Warner Brothers, Inc.)

  • antonio

    Excuse me for being So long winded here But We must remember that Love is not Only personal but subjective.

  • antonio

    That would be like asking Who mmakes a Better Lover A Vampire OR a Werewolf?? Since NEITHER one Exists I don’t think its a valid question. However, Were You to ask Who would be a Better Significant Other Someone with a great body Or Someone with a great Personality and a warm heart? Then I would say you have a question.

  • antonio

    The Truth is Vampires are NOT real and Humans Are!
    Often What we Would Like to See and What Really Is are 2 different things.

  • antonio

    From a Psychological standpoint, This can be potentially delusional. There are some who have a hard time distinguishing between fantasy And reality. Of Course, Who Would Not want to have someone who is fiercely impassioned and committed in their devotion to you. I recall seeing a t-shirt somewhere “Thanks,Stephenie Now I’ll Never find a Man!” Reason being that Ms. Meyer ~~in her book series Twilight~~had created an “image of what she thought a man should be” This can be harmful. Her idea of Edward Cullen is hardly realistic.
    Ideally, You should get to know a person~~~especially a potential soul mate for Who They Are…NOT For Who you’d Like Them to BE! There is NO SUCH Thing as the Perfect Woman OR Man!
    The question then becomes Are they Good for you? Are You Good for Each Other??
    I guess you have to ask yourself “Would I be happier dreaming about someone who Doesn’t Exist?” Do I want to believe in Love in the Real World?”
    Even the most loving couples need a braek from each other now and then. So to say Who Makes a better Lover Someone scripted from the page of a book or manuscript or a Real living breathing person seems to be an exercise in futility.
    A Fantasy is Just That!! All it Ever Could Be!!
    I can understand However Why people choose to indulge in these though.
    If you were to think “I want someone like Bill or Lestat or Angel”
    Good Luck finding somebody just based on Those features!
    Of course, this is just the psychological dynamic.
    The Truth is…You Can’t Fabricate your dream mate….You have to accept Her/Him for WHO They Are!
    Part of the thing with Vampires is that Many of them cast a hypnotic spell oon their victims making them to “love” them Against their will! Look at an old Bela Lugosi film sometime.
    The Ultimate question here is : What’s More Important How Someone Else Makes You Feel OR How You Feel about Yourself??
    Again, this is Just an excercise in psychology.

  • val

    I think one of the things that make Vampires better lovers(other thans they are suppose to be GREAT!) is for women who do NOT want children-they are safe,Vampires are mysterious,often good-looking(hollywood)and have marvelous powers of persuasion! I am FASCINATED with Eric and he is not even a real Vampire!

  • Definitely vampires make for better lovers and boyfriends! Imagine a student dating a vampire and needing help with their history homework… I think that’d strengthen the relationship just because the vampire is there for his/her significant other! And, he/she could give a new explanation about a period in time they existed, because they’d actually KNOW what it was like, especially if they’re a really old vampire!

    And if the vampire has gotten bored, they always can improve themselves just to get rid of the boredom. Thus, they make themselves a better catch, whereas most human boyfriends only go so far before stopping. Then they infuriate the girlfriend because she can’t get her guy to try to impress her…