What’s Cookin’ – Lafayette’s Tomatoey Goodness

October 6, 2009 by  


Lafayette comin’ atcha here.  Youse know that I am an Entrepreneur!  I work on da road crew to keep myself lookin’ hot and SEXAY and line my pockets with a little jingle.  Then at nights I cook at Merlotte’s bar where all the local necks hang out.  So now I’m branchin’ out and I’m goin’ to be Bon Temps version of da BAM! man.  I mean no one has more Bam! Bam! Bam! than ‘lil ole me!  And I kin cook too! Every week or so I’m going to teach y’all to make food good enough to melt even Nan Flanagan’s heart. Bon Chika Wow Wow – Appetit!

October 6th, 2009

Lafayette’s Tomatoey Goodness

Child, ya boy Lafayette is finally back wit anotha recipe for ya.  I been helpin’ Sook try to find Bill, but that ain’t go too well. It’s been real hectic for a hot minute ‘round here and I am ready for Bon Temps to get back to da borin’ lil place it was before Maryann and them vamps showed up ‘round here.  Watchin’ them necks get drunker than Cooter Brown at Merlotte’s is about as much excitement as I want to see for a while!

Anyways, I thought I’d treat y’all to one of ya boy’s favorite recipes – Sausage & Tomato Gravy. Ya would know that’s one of my specialties & it’s quick & easy.  And ya’ know what dey say bout tomato gravy down here in Louisiana.  If ya don’t, Google it – cuz’ I ain’t bout to tell my secret bout how I gets the mens!  And ya know down here, we make anything into sausage.  I recommend good homemade pork sausage, but ya can go to da Bon Temps Deli & they will get ya sausage out of whateva ya want.

I ain’t had much time to cook for myself lately, since I been tryin’ to find Bill for Sook, but when I do, I will be making me some of dis.


–          1 pound of fresh or smoked sausage (my favorite!)

–          2 fresh Creole tomatoes (diced)

–          1 yellow onion (chopped)

–          1 bell pepper (chopped)

–          1 stalk of celery (minced)

–          1 stalk of green onions (chopped)

–          Parsley (chopped)

–          1/8 stick of butter

–          1 clove of garlic (finely chopped)

–          2 small cans of tomato sauce

–          Creole seasoning (I likes mine hot & spicy, if ya know what I mean!)


Melt dat butter in da skillet & cut up ya sausage & brown.  Add onions, bell pepper, celery, & garlic & brown some mo’.  Add a little water & scrape da bottom of da skillet til’ ya get all the brown off (dat’s where da flava’s at) & let simmer (like ya boy been doin’).  Add tomatoes, tomato sauce & Creole seasoning.  Let cook on low bout 25 minutes or until sausage is tender.  Serve over rice or, if youse trying to watch ya figure like ya boy, serve it over a grilled, stuffed chicken breast. Now dat’s whassup!


(Photo Credit: Sue-Z http://www.ehow.com/how_2183423_cook-good-oldfashioned-tomato-gravy.html)

Graphics Creation Credits: Steven Easterly

To check out my other Bon Chika Wow Wow dishes see the archives!

Disclaimer: These recipes are provided for entertainment and culinary purposes only and should be made by ordinary humans only with ordinary ingredients.  This column is a parody of the Gothic fantasy series, True Blood, and as such, is presented here for your amusement.  What’s Cookin’ and the various writers that contribute to it, have no relationship/affiliation to HBO, True Blood, or any of the cast or crew of said nor any relation to Charlain Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse novels.