I can’t believe this is it. I can’t believe this is my last ever True Blood recap! Here’s what went down in Episode 10 (entitled Thank You) of HBO’s True Blood Season 7:

• We start off pretty much where Episode 9 (entitled Love is to Die) ended; at Sookie’s (Anna Paquin). Her and Bill (Stephen Moyer) are having a chat about how Bill wants Sookie to have a life and how Sookie wants Bill to live. Then he drops a clanger on her: he not only wants to die, he wants Sookie to kill him! *starts wimpering* Turns out he has a reason for that. He figures if she uses her super fairy light ball once and for all, she will no longer be an attractant to all the supernaturals out there. Needless to say, Sookie is pissed…
• Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) and Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) hatch a plan: release Sarah Newlin (Anna Camp) and use that as a ploy to lure Mr. Gus (Will Yun Lee) down into the dungeon so they can kill him and his Yazuka security guards. This plan actually works and we can say RIP to Mr. Gus, the bad guy that wasn’t really such a bad guy, just an annoying one. Sarah is really on the loose too, but that’s okay because Pam has given her some vampire blood and can track her like a bloodhound. Once that happens, Sarah does the only thing she knows how; try and talk her way out of the situation. Sarah tries to convince Pam to turn her into a vampire – to which Pam refuses, but more on that later…
• Oh, and the Yakuza on the way to Sookie’s house? Don’t worry about them because Eric totally has a handle on it! *cue Eric jigging away to J-Pop in the car*
• So Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) and Hoyt (Jim Parrack) turn up to talk to Bill, but the table is turned when Bill goes all parental on Jess and insists Hoyt makes an honest woman of her. To which Hoyt agrees and we have an epic vampire wedding organized at vamp speed so Bill can walk Jess down the aisle. *This is the first time I really start bawling*
• Andy Bellefleur (Chris Bauer) is called in to officiate the wedding and Bill drops a bombshell on him: he is now the heir apparent to Bill’s estate. Andy doesn’t want it, but that’s okay because Bill wants Andy to rent it to Jess and Hoyt. For $1 dollar a month. Man, where can I get a landlord like that?!
• Sookie has her own flashbacks in Episode 10. This time we get to see Sookie and Tara (Rutina Wesley) as kids. They’re all running in the rain and getting dried off by Gran (Lois Smith). Yes, Gran’s back! And she’s still giving out sound advice by telling Sookie that the only boundaries she has is the ones she sets upon herself.
• Sookie goes looking to her brother, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) for some advice as to what to do about the kill Bill situation. Turns out Jason is just as surprised as the rest of us that his advice might be useful. But Sookie reads Bridgette’s (Ashley Hinshaw) mind while she’s there and lets Jason know that she is totally okay about him and Bridgette hooking up. Of course, Jason had no idea because he equates not having sex with ‘she doesn’t like me‘.
• Speaking of Jason, he and Hoyt work things out and he is Hoyt’s best man at his wedding.
• So, we are at this vampire wedding and Sookie is suddenly able to hear Bill’s thoughts. WTH?! Is Bill turning human? Is that how his Hep-V works now?
• Sookie is still having a hard time working out whether to kill Bill or not, so she goes to see Reverend Daniels (Gregg Daniel) about it. He has as much good advice to give as Gran did, so Sookie is starting to come to a realization…
• …that the True Blood finale is going to be all about a wedding and then a funeral. Sookie meets Bill at the cemetery where is grave is open and ready for him. There is much talking going backwards and forwards between these two and I am howling at the TV right now because I am coming to realize Sookie is not going to kill Bill with her fairy light, she is going to stake him instead! At least Bill is okay with that, because I am so not okay with it, and I’m not even Team Bill! And there we have it, Sookie in a coffin filled to the brim with Bill gloop and I am rocking and crying and eating Gran’s pecan pie with my bare hands. Guess that ‘maybe Bill is turning into a human‘ idea is completely moot now.
• Fast forward to a year later. Wait, what? I’m still grieving over here! But HBO has a show to wrap up and they don’t have time for that crap. It seems Eric and Pam are shooting an infomercial about their new product: New Blood. They have a great little story about how Sarah got away, all except for a few stray drops of her blood from which they were able to synthesize a cure. Nice lying there Northman 😉
• Oh, wait, is that Charlaine Harris? Why, yes it is!
• Now it’s three years later and Pam is looking suspiciously like Sarah Newlin as they float their product on the stock exchange.
• Oh, look, it’s Fangtasia. Pam is in the dungeon letting vampires take their New Blood straight from the source. Yep, Sarah Newlin actually survived the True Blood finale! But she’s now the antidote whore Pam promised in Episode 9. We also get another cameo appearance from Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) here because Sarah is now officially crazy.
• Next it’s Thanksgiving and some random guy is deep frying a turkey at Sookie’s house. Seems there is a big gathering going on. Oh look, there Jason and Bridgette and their three kids. And, wow, Sookie’s pregnant too! Wonder who the lucky guy is? Now they are all sitting down to dinner and there’s Sam (Sam Trammell) and Nicole (Jurnee Smollett-Bell) with their second child. Hoyt and Jess still look happy, and so do Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and James (Nathan Parsons). In fact, everyone in Bon Temps does. But who the heck is Sookie with? Then she leans over and kisses a guy with a beard. AND WE DON’T EVEN GET TO SEE HIS FACE.
• Oh, I get it, Sookie chooses to be human and that’s more important than which guy she ends up with. And I am crying all over again because Sookie is happy.

What did you think of the finale episode ever of True Blood? Let us know your thoughts by commenting below!

(Photo Credits: HBO Inc.)