Good Grief! This show has more surprises and twists and turns than the wildest roller coaster…and if the goal was to leave everyone completely unhinged and totally flabbergasted as to what is coming next…Mission Accomplished! (and that includes those who have read the books AND those who watched Season 1) I feel pretty certain that I have no freaking clue what any of the characters might do…and that occasionally produces more than a little “motion sickness”, feeling like I am on a runaway train to who knows where! Whew. Of course I have my little hopes that some of my favorite plotlines might survive the trip from original concept to the screen this year, but I have had to give myself a stern lecture on the futility of assuming anything (you do know what “assume” does to you and me, yes? Old joke. Sorry. ) Trust. I am putting my trust in Alan and Co. and still hoping that there will be some ultimate method to the madness.

Looking back over Season 1 and the first 5 episodes of Season 2, I feel such aA?wide ranging array of emotional reactions… Relief (Lafayette Lives!), Irritation (Sookie, girl you need to wake up to the harsh reality of the vampire world!), Sorrow (our sassy Lafayette seems to have lost his joyous passion for life…I hope this is just temporary!!), Hostility (I just want to grow myself three wicked claws and give that Maryann what is coming to her…Grrrrr!), Happiness (Sammy has not left town yet…and may not, now that he has found himself a little “Deer” to call his own), Trepidation (but, hey, what if Daphne is BAD?!) Bliss (Stephen Moyer as Vampire Bill, need I say more?), Passionate Lust , Heartbreak (Tara breaks my heart. Constantly), Rage (Lorena. If that is even still her name… yep, rage pretty much sums it up!), School-girl crush (Hoyt. The sweetest boyfriend any vampire ever had..) Nausea (everyone and everything connected to the Light of Day Institute…they just make my skin crawl!)… and I could go on and on and on. I have pretty much had an “emotional cramp” from the first scene of the first episode this season straight up to the present…careening from horror to joy to heartache… sometimes in just 5 minutes of the show. Even so, it is so insanely addictive that I cannot and do not even want to break away…and I crave more and more True Blood, just as voraciously as any V addict. The only cure is More. Even waiting a week is torture…but, I am sure you can all relate and I am just “preaching to the converted”.

Episode 5 begins with a startling revelation…Sam (Sam Trammell) is not the only shapeshifter in town! Even Sam is dumbstruck to find out that Daphne (Ashley Jones) is just like him….well, she becomes the sweetest little deer… Which got us thinking while we were watching the episode…(Possible SPOILER here..) Charlaine Harris created names for some shapeshifters, i.e. Werefox, Werepanther, etc… so, I guess that might make Daphne a Weredeer…or, how “bout a WereBambi?…or, (thanks to my sister Tamara for this one!) Wambi for short. We just about laughed ourselves silly over that one. That is the true miracle of True Blood: one minute you can be absolutely horrified and the very next, laughing your butt off. I was thinking that the story of Sam and Daphne might be called “The Dog and the Deer”…or, Lassie and Bambi? Wassie and Wambi? But I digress.

Last episode, Daphne whispered in Sam“s ear, “I know what you are”… and the episode begins with Daphne coaxing Sam into the woods, stripping her clothes off as she goes …Sam loses sight of her, only to encounter the little deer…which then shifts into naked Daphne. Sam is shocked out of his pants (well, not quite, darn it!)…and Daphne tells him she discovered “what Sam is” by seeing him jumping into the water as a dog and coming up as Sam. She told Sam that he has been “carrying that secret like a 2 ton sack of feed on his back” and she cozies right up to him, after telling him that she is a shapeshifter and proud of it. He seems a little thrown for a loop to begin with but it doesn”t take him long to warm right up…and who should interrupt at the worst possible moment but Terry (Todd Lowe) and Arlene (Carrie Preston)! I confess, Arlene makes me want to kick some butt this year! and poor Terry looks completely goofy and dazed, obviously still feeling the aftereffects of being whammied by Maryann (Michelle Forbes). Cue the very awkward moment of Sam (the boss) being caught about to make whoopie by two of his employees…as a still naked Daphne tries to hide behind him. What the heck is up with Daphne and Arlene? I think Arlene is biting off way more than she can chew with Daphne…and I just wonder what, if any, connection there is between Daphne and Maryann? Those scratch marks really make me wonder…and I would think it might make Sam wonder as well.

Over at the Hotel Carmilla, Sookie (Anna Paquin)A? is still chasing poor telepathic Barry the Bellboy (Chris Coy) down the hall, hearing him freaking out inside his own head all the way. He is completely unnerved to be discovered in this way by Sookie and not at all interested in making her acquaintance, much less becoming bosom buddies with her. They watch a “glamoured” fangbanger make his way down the hall, with Sookie reporting that his head is filled with “fog and disco music”. She tells Barry that she can”t be glamoured and wonders if he can. He tells her that they can”t glamour him but he fakes it…and then he gets right in her face, saying, ” I don”t know what kinda little fried corn on the cob town you”re from or what candy-ass vampires you”re with…but this is Dallas, baby”. Sookie tells him to watch his tone of voice and, “Don”t call me baby.” She seems to take his warnings about the vicious nature of the Dallas vampires waaayyy too lightly…and he warns her not to tell anyone about him and his “gift”.

Back in Bill“s room, he is chastising Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) for her “room service meal”, a gorgeous 21 year old hunka burning love. She tells Bill (Stephen Moyer), “all I did was order him off the menu”…to which Bill replies, “I would no more allow you to feed off that young man than I would let you watch pornography on the television”. Jessica perks right up at the thought of this and gleefully asks Sookie, just back from her hallway encounter with Barry, if she knows that there are “dirty movies on T.V.” Sookie replies,”No. Yuck”. Hmmm. Bill orders Jessica to her room, reminding her to drink up her True Blood. She stalks away in a huff, telling Bill he will be lucky if she doesn”t develop an “eating disorder”. This is so typical of the kind of drama queen remark a teenager would make that it does remind us all that Jessica was very recently just a sheltered 17 year old.

Bill is just about to the end of his rope with Sookie ignoring his every warning about the dangers they are facing in Dallas. He asks her once again not to wander off on her own…worrying that he can”t protect her if she won”t listen to him and be more cautious. She tells him that, “they can”t touch me. I”m yours.” with a dangerously foolish confidence. She is naive in the extreme and I fear that she will soon be learning just how unwise it is to underestimate her precarious situation in Dallas. Wise up, Miss Sookie!

Really loved the tender and touching scene with Bill and Sookie, in which she tells him how much they have to be happy about. She tells him that, for the first time, he won”t have to leave her at dawn, since they are in a “light-tight” vampire hotel. He tells her his only desire is to keep her safe. She checks to see if that is his only desire…and he kisses her passionately. Gotta love me some Vampire Bill… Mmm mmm good.

Meanwhile, Jessica is making calls, presumably on Leon”s pilfered cellphone. Hoyt (Jim Parrack) is kicking back in his plaid jammies when his cellphone begins to ring (I am pretty sure his ringtone is “When the Saints Go Marching In”) and he answers it, “You”re talking to the man”. (Something tells me he picked up this line from his former best friend Jason). Jessica wonders if he remembers her and he reassures her, “Jessica. Oh my Lord. I remember you all right. I can”t stop thinking about you.” To which she replies, “Really? Really, really?” and he then says, “Really, really and then some”. Too cute!! His crazy as a loon mother Maxine (Dale Raoul) just about busts down his door, telling him that no decent or ladylike girl would be calling him at that time of the night. He shoos her out and locks the door. You go, Hoyt! Her head would explode if she had any clue about the particular nature of Hoyt“s new girlfriend Jessica! They settle in for a long chat and he starts telling her about his comic book, “Space Tomb”. There is something so sweet and endearing about this twosome…I am rooting for them and hoping that there is not impending disaster looming for them around the next corner. After all, this is True Blood…and something tells me that anything “sweet” doesn”t have a long shelf-life in that world.

Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is slumbering peacefully in the guestroom at the Newlin“s when Gabe (Greg Collins) blasts an air hornA?and declares that it is timeA?for all good little fanatics…ummm…Soldiers of the Sun to get their butt outta bed and head for boot camp. When Gabe calls Jason a “pansy fangbanger”…and tells him that he is supposed to be leadership material…I keep wondering when Jason is going to protest being treated this way. He so obviously wants to please Sarah (Anna Camp), who is looking mighty perky and sunny in her yellow tracksuit… and it seems that he is genuinely trying to do “what God wants him to do”.A?His brains are just about like scrambled eggs at this point…A?and when Sarah tells them that “in due time, all will be revealed”, he only wants to know if someone will reveal a bathroom, since he really has to go! Not until you”veA?earned it, says the unconvincingly stern Sarah…and Gabe berates Jason, throwing him onto the ground to do some push-ups.A?Next thing you know, Luke-inator (Wes Brown) isA?doing some push-ups as well, battling it out with Jason to seeA?who is tougher…and Jason does some one-armed push-ups to prove that he is the toughest of them all. I still think they oughta get out a measuring tape and resolve thisA?once and for all! A truly gag-worthy moment was when Sarah gives Jason a little wink in encouragement, maybe trying to let him know that she can”t play favorites at the boot camp. Sarah Newlin is a truly frightening character in that she can seem so sympathetic and compassionate and yetA?she is willing to resort to any tactics to “sell” her agenda of hate. Those would seem to beA?incompatible values..and perhaps that isA?the evil genius of charismatic leaders in any cult…the ability to convince others that their cause is just and right and for theA?good of all. As in any such scenario, there are good guys and bad guys within each of the groups. This is the blurry line which makes it so hard to tell sometimes who isA?right and who is wrong in any ideological battle. There is so much food for thought in the storytelling this season…and I always hope that people will begin to discover that the things which connect us areA?far more important and valuable than anything that makes us different from one another.

Back at Sookie“s…Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Eggs (Mehcad Brooks) [Editor”s note: That”s Over-Easy on the Eyes Eggs!] are sleeping in after a wild night of consummating their relationship during the orgy/party thrown by Maryann the previous night. There is a lot of speculation on the Internet regarding what ominous agenda Maryann may have had in working so hard to make sure that Eggs and Tara “did the deed”. Some people have even mentioned “Rosemary”s Baby”. Eeeuuwww. I certainly hope that isn”t the case! Although I do think that Eggs is under the spell/control of Maryann…there is no doubt in my mind about that. Which leaves poor Tara in harm”s way, as usual. It is heart wrenching to see Tara lean over Eggs, listening to his heart beating [Editor”s note; Is THAT what she was doing? I thought she was peeking under the covers!!!]…and then she rolls over and gazes lovingly at the picture on her dresser of her with Sookie and Gran (Lois Smith). That she can be so deluded is very disturbing…and it makes me wonder what kind of power Maryann has over her. Every time Tara tries to break away from Maryann, she is pulled back inA?to an even greater degree than before. When Eggs wakes up, sheA?begins to tell him about Sookie“s Gran and how she was a real mother to her.A?She talks about how good Gran was…a truly good person, through and through. She said that this house was the only place in the world she felt safe. I found that online casino canada an ironic statement, given theA?fact that she has invited evil right into the door of her one safe place.

Back at Hotel Carmilla, we are treated to the most gorgeous shot of a sleeping Vampire Bill. Sookie slips away to find Barry setting up the continental breakfast for the hotel guests. HeA?isA?not a happy camper when she shows up…and he tries to get her to go away and leave him be. Our Sookie is not so easily discouraged…telling Barry, “I have never met another telepath. Have you?”. He tells her no and not to even say that word. Barry is in some serious denial about his “gift”. I absolutely love it when Sookie tells him that she used to think of her telepathy as a “disability”, with a nod to Charlaine“s original description of Sookie“s “gift”. She tries to encourage Barry to let her help him, telling him that she can teach him to control it. He wants no part of that…and resists her every effort to befriend him.

Sookie slips back into the hotel room, to find Bill alarmed, telling her, “I dreamed you were gone”. When she tells him about the fact that she “had to” talk to Barry after discovering that he is a telepath like her, he is very upset, wanting to know why she made him aware of herA?gift after all of his warnings. She tells him that she is learning that she is “good at being a telepath”…and that he was the one who told her she is more thanA?just a waitress. He is very shook up and seems to want to say more, but turns away in frustration. She begs him,A?”Lean on me, I”ve leaned on youA?plenty” and he finally tells her how hard it is to feel the responsibilityA?to protect her and Jessica and to feel as though he has no real power to do so. He confesses that he feels “like a waitress” (equating that to feeling powerless) and she tells him, “You”re walkin” in my shoes and they”re giving you blisters”. It seems that they are bonding more and more and becoming closer and more in love with each other by the day.

Bill tells Sookie that he is worried about Eric (Alexander Skarsgard). He says that Eric is “strangely intense about all of this” (alluding to the mission in Dallas) and that it, “Isn”t like him”. Sookie, once again, shrugs off his fears, telling him not to worry about Eric…they will do the job and go home, a deals a deal. She isA?convinced that Eric needs her and doesn”t want to make her mad.A?Hmmm. Time will tell. Bill tells her that he doesn”t want to lose her. Sookie tells him, “You never will”.

Meanwhile at Merlotte“s, Daphne and Sam areA?sizzling hotA?in anticipation of finishing what theyA?started the night before. Daphne tells him that she figured he had all he could handle (with Terry and Arlene showing up to ruin the moment)…Sam tells her, “I reckon you underestimate me”, with a look that could melt butter. Yowza!

Arlene enjoys a power trip over Daphne…which culminates with Terry being yanked back and forth like Gumby between the two of them over making ice tea. Right about then, Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis)A?shows up and Arlene hugs him joyfully while Terry just says, “ThankA?God,A?brother”. A very subdued Lafayette asks Sam if they can talk and he and Sam adjourn to his office. Sam isA?pretty pissed off and tells Lafayette inA?no uncertain terms that he should have called, that he left them high andA?dry and not to forget that there are lots of people there who care about him. When Lafayette doesn”t respond…at all…Sam tells him, “Right about now, you”d be telling me to fuck off in some colorful and creative way”. Lafayette just looks at Sam with a wariness and anxiety we have never seen before…telling him that all he wants to know is if he can have his job back. Sam tells him, “this is where I should tell YOU to fuck off…the pressure has almost put Terry back in the V.A. hospital”A?…and then tells him that of course he can have his job back since the place is not the same without him. Lafayette simply says,A?”Thank you Sam“…and Sam worriedly looks at him, asking, “What happened to you?” Lafayette just looks down and walks out the door. Okay now…protest time!! I know that Lafayette is not in a big hurry toA?EVER tell anyone what has happened to him at the hands of the vampires…but it is just too sad to see him looking so beaten down and forlorn. I certainly hope this is just a temporary condition.A?We need our Lafayette back, in all of his glory…and soooon!!!

Back at L.O.D.I. boot camp, the campers/recruits are being run ragged by Gabe and Sarah. Jason even stops to help one camper who drops facedown during the run…and Luke tries to make the most of this situation by berating the fallen camper, hurling insults at him and dashing past Jason. Jason yells at him, “You”d better pace yourself”. An overly confident Luke yells back,A?”this is my pace!” Sarah looks on benevolently from the jeep.

At Sookie“s, Maryann is making herself right at home (Say What???!!!), merrily chopping up veggies andA?fruit. Tara is dismayed at the sight ofA?her in Gran“s kitchen and temporarily grows a backbone, telling her that she cannot stay there, that she is a guest there herself and cannot have a bunch of people Sookie doesn”t even know to come and stay there. Maryann pathetically says, “I see” and walks out the kitchen door. During the conversation, Tara discovers that the house she had been staying in didn”t even belong to Maryann but was one of herA?”clients”. Tara confronts Eggs, asking if he and Maryann are Nomads, or effing Bedouins!! We see a brief glimpse of Warrior Tara and wonder where she has beenA?hiding…ifA?ever there was a time for Tara to break out a can of whoop ass, this is it. I wonder if she is afraid of Maryann or if she is under some sort of spell.A?Maybe a little of both? Tara asks Eggs [Editor”s note: Who I”m now thinking of as Eggs Benedict Arnold!] what is the deal with him and Maryann…and he tells her that he and Maryann and Karl are “family” and they take care of each other.A?He accuses Tara of not knowing what family even means due to her own “effed up” history. A low blow if there ever was one!

Back at camp, Gabe is humiliating and demeaning the recruits…running them ragged and then forcing them to scale a tall chain link fence. Luke attempts it and fails,A?repeatedly. Jason is pretty pleased at first that Luke is being made an example of, but thenA?his grin begins to fade as Gabe callsA?Luke a failure and a loser. Gabe is merciless and pretty much challenges Jason to show what a real leader is madeA?of. Jason scrambles up to the top of the fence and then, turns back to Luke andA?asks him to look at him. He tells him, “It”s just a damn fence”, reaching out his hand to pull Luke up…telling him, “I got you brother”. I never thought I would see the day when I would actually be rooting for Jason Stackhouse, since last season I found him continually aggravating and annoying.A?ThereA?have been many moments this season when I have seenA?a genuinely good human being peeking out fromA?behind his boneheaded facade. It makes me want to see Jason figure it all out and tell these fanatical nutjobs to kiss his butt! I don”t know that it will ever happen,A?but hope springs eternal!

At the Dallas Vampire Headquarters, Stan and Isabel are arguing andA?fighting like twoA?kidsA?in a schoolA?yard…and Stan insults Sookie immediately. Bill, of course,A?demands that Stan respect Sookie. Eric is seriously pissed off …and wants to know if they are certain that Godric has been abducted by the Fellowship of the Sun (F.o.t.S.) Isabel doesn”t think so, but Stan is convinced. AfterA?listening to them bicker, Eric hasA?finally had enough, and completely blows his top (highly unusual behavior for Eric, whoA?generally feels no need to even raise his voice in order to show his power)…HeA?snarls at them that they are incompetent and looks as though his blood is boiling. He wants to know, “What has happened to Godric that he surrounds himself with clowns?” Bill doubts that the King of Texas would approve of the destructionA?ofA?his international and political agenda…and Stan tells Eric that he should “run on back to Louisiana. We don”t need you or your puppets”. Sookie, of course, highly objects to beingA?called a puppet. Eric tells them that he is not going anywhere…and Stan insists that it is war and encourages open warfare and aggression against the humans. Eric calls them idiots, looking like he would love to rip their throats out. Yikes!

OverA?at the Newlin“s, Sarah and Steve are arguing and he is being completely disrespectful to her and ignoring her questions and objections. He and Gabe are planning something which Sarah feels is going, “too darn far”. Steve encourages Gabe, who tells him that he will set things in motion. Sarah continuesA?fighting with Steve, and upon seeing Jason come into the room, she brightens right up and starts praising him for being such a warrior at camp. Steve agrees and tells him that he is rising to the next level. Steve asks him to take a walk with him and Sarah wants to come with, but is rebuffed by Steve. Steve actually has the nerve to tell Jason that she makes him understand why some people believe in divorce…following that up by saying he is just kidding! This guy is completely fruit loops! Especially when he takes Jason into a little room he calls the Light of Day Institute Research andA?Development dept….which is justA?code for a very scary looking arsenal of weapons ranging from wooden arrows (calledA?”itty bitty stakes” by Jason, back in his dense-as-a-brick mode)A?to silver and wooden bullets, from flamethrowers to silver throwing stars (which Jason grabs and tries to reenact some kind of really bad kung-fu move).

Meanwhile at Merlotte“s, Maryann sits in her car outside the bar and concentrates, sending her rage into the bar. She somehow antagonizes everyone against Tara.A?When Tara finally tells everyone off, Maryann sits back in her seat in the car, a sickening smile on her face and tells Karl, “We are done”, and they drive off.

At the Newlin“s, Jason is taking a bath and getting his just reward from Sarah, who finally reveals herself to beA?the craziest of all the crazies…comparing herself to MaryA?Magdalene and telling Jason that she wants to bring him backA?”to joy” with her “disappearing hand trick”…Jason is helpless to resist her…after all, heA?IS Jason and we all know that he thinks below his belt under the best of circumstances. I justA?find this whole storyline disturbing in the extreme…and more than a little sad.

Back at Vamp Headquarters..Stan and Isabel are still at eachother”s throats and Eric has apparently had all he can stand, taking a vase and smashing it to smithereens. Eric does not suffer fools gladly and heA?angrily tells them, “Godric hasA?protected you. Made you rich. And you stand here, spitting and scratching like infants.” Bill wonders, “Don”t any of you care that there is a traitor in your midst” since Sookie was almost abducted at the airport and no one knew they were coming except for them. They turn on one another yet again, accusing the other of being at fault. Sookie tells them, “I am either going to fall asleepA?or start screaming”…and suggests that she can infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun and listen to their thoughts and find out where Godric is. Bill says absolutely not…but Eric tells him to let Sookie speak. Bill fears that they cannot protect Sookie during the daylight. Eric and Isabel agree that this is the best way to find out what is going on…and tells Bill that if this leads to Godric, they will do this and it is final.

Bill asks Eric to step aside for a little chat. Bill is worried that Sookie was just clawed and poisoned by a creature they do not know and cannot find…and now in Dallas, Eric is playing with her life. Eric tells Bill that it is noA?game to him. Bill does not understand why Eric would do all of this for a colleague and wants to know why…

Which leads Eric to reminisce about his days as aA?Viking warrior. In an amazing flashback, we see Eric on the last day and night of his human life…mortally wounded in battle, with his loyal warriors standing by his side, awaiting his death…telling him that he will be greeted by the gods atA?Valhalla as a hero in battle. They tell him that there will be meat and gold and beer…and women. Eric, as only Eric can…tells them that wherever he is, there will always be women! Truer words were never spoken!

The entire scene is in Swedish and it is fascinating to see the back-story of Eric.A?As they wait, suddenly his men hear someone approaching and draw their swords toA?defend Eric…but they are swiftly killed, their throats ripped out by a seemingly young boy with ancient tattoos. Eric wonders if he is Death? He tells Eric that he watched him on the battle field and had never seen anyone who could fight as he did. When Eric discovers that he has killed his men…he calls him a swine andA?tells him that he wouldA?fight him right now if he could. The boy tells him that he knows it and it is beautiful. Eric wonders what he is waiting for and why he doesn”t kill him. He asks Eric ifA?he could be a companion to Death…would he walk through the world with him…and that he would teach him all he knows. Eric wonders what is in it for him (typical Eric!) and the boyA?tells him that he will give himA?what he loves most. Life.

Eric,A?returning from his reverie, tells Bill that Godric is his maker.A?He looks away from Bill in anguish.

Alexander Skarsgard is doing an amazing job in his portrayal of Eric…showing many layers of personality and revealing the human being buried under a thousand years of his life as a vampire. Knowing that the missing Godric is Eric“s maker is an important ingredient in making sense of Eric“s unusual behavior and the intensity of his despair at his disappearance. It will be interesting to watch as this story unfolds and to see the impact of this news on Bill and Sookie.

Back at Merlotte“s, Sam and Daphne are about to play a most interesting game of pool…with a “rack” and “balls” that are not usually used in theA?game! Before the “game” commences, they discuss what it is like to be a shifter andA?what it feels like when they change. Sam describes it as feeling like sparks running all over his skin…and inside him as well. He and Daphne begin to kiss passionately and use theA?pool table to great effect.A?Let the games begin!!

At the Hotel Carmilla, Sookie discovers that Barry has quit his job!

In one of the most distressing scenes to date, we find Maryann in the kitchen at Sookie“s…wearing an apron of Gran“s, sittingA?at the kitchen table, reading a book (in a scene almost identical to one in theA?first season when Gran waits up for Sookie.)A?…Tara arrives, after her harrowing night of being verbally attacked by everyone at Merlotte“s…and she visibly softens towards Maryann when she finds her waiting for her, having filled the fridge with all of her favorite foods and made dinner for her as well. It is just sick, sick, sick! Tara tells her, “Don”t go. I”ll call Sookie. I want you to stay. You”re so good to me.” Maryann asks Tara if she knows why she isA?so good to her. Tara just shrugs and Maryann tells her, “Because you need it so much and it makes you bloom like a flower.”

Tara goes up to her room to find Eggs also reading a book, waitingA?up for her. She tells himA?he looks like the King of Sheba and she flopsA?onto the bed to snuggle up to him. The whole entire scene with Maryann and Eggs made me want to shake Tara and tell her to wake up before it is too late!

Back at the Hotel Carmilla, Bill is disgusted with the Dallas vampires…calling them, “Despicable, vicious, petty, vile creatures”. Sookie tells him that he is not like them. She says that Bill has a heart, even if it is not beating.A?He can love. She tells him there was not one other vampire there whoA?could say the same. Bill wants to slip away, back to Bon Temps. Sookie says that Stan is as nutty as a fruitcake and she cannot break her word to Eric. Bill fears that something will happen to her in that church…and she tells him not to say that or even think that. She says, “I”ll be in and out. Easy peasy.” Sookie, Sookie!! Girlfriend, you areA?bordering on delusional here!

Bill tells her that he would be satisfied just to hold her…but Sookie tells him that she would not beA?satisfied with that. Not one bit. Bill asks (in one of theA?sexiest voices of all time…)A?”What do you want Sookie? Say it.”A?She tells him, “I want you. Every which way. I just. want. you.” Cue the hot sex…yowza can that man kiss, or what? er..not man, vampire!

Spoiler!!!

Down the hallway, approaching Bill and Sookie“s room, a woman walks with determination. Lorena, Bill“s maker. She “hears” Bill and Sookie making love and does not look the least bit happy about it…especially when her fangs pop out!! UH OH!

Up Next!

Spoiler! (maybe, maybe not…with Alan Ball and Co. there is really no way to know what they might be up to with a character, even if we think we knowA?something from last season, much less if anyone is counting on plotlines from the books…! )

Lorena (Bill“s maker) asks Eric, “Why am I here?” A?He replies that they both want the same thing. She says, for a vampire, you”re a terrible liar. Hmmmm. Seeing the two of them together kinda makes me feel like screaming… Better run for the hills, Bill!

Sarah (so-sweet-it gives-me-a-cavity!) Newlin greets Sookie (aka “Holly Simpson” and her “fiancee”!! ) When Sarah tells “Holly” how thrilled they are to have them…it gives me the heebie jeebies.

Bill yells for Sookie..cut to Lorena holding Bill down on a bed, “Your blood knows mine, you”ll never overpower me…” as Bill flails about, seemingly helpless to escape her… Sadly, I guess poor Bill couldn”t run for the hills…

Sarah and Jason…she tells him she is supposed to be with him…Jason protests that she is married, she tells him not anymore, not in her heart…cue full-on make out scene!

Lafayette freaks out when Glam Pam shows up with a request for him from Eric…then says, holding up a bottle, presumably of “V”, “You”re back in business”. Guess Eric is looking for a bit of a return on his healing gift to Lafayette…Uh Oh.

(Photo credit: HBO)

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